Thursday, May 16, 2019

Teddy and the Pirates

Oh, boy, it never ceases to amaze me when morons exceed their competence level. This week, Ted Cruz claimed that a Space Force was needed to protect US interests from 'Space Pirates' and other threats on the 'space landscape':

It seems like Ted, like myself, has been watching a bit too much Space Ghost lately. Unlike myself, Ted doesn't have a sense of humor, so he got upset that the Twitter CEO allowed 'the left' to dunk on him. He also doesn't seem to make a distinction between pirates and the military forces of our geopolitical, or in this case astropolitical, rivals. I would suggest sending Ted Cruz on a one-way mission to set up a military base on Uranus, but the real danger is that he would become a pirate himself- after all, he was charged with bringing loot back to theocratic despots. Even if Ted doesn't go rogue, he's not very bright and would fare poorly against a real space pirate:

Title adapted from this bit of comic-strip pulp.


The New York Crank said...

Aaargh! Cap'n Ted is amok on the bridge again, me buckos. Batten down the thrusters for I fear many a lad will walk the plank 'ere where done with this intergalactic bilge water. Arrgh!

Yours crankily,
The New York Pirate

Li'l Innocent said...

Perhaps he's hoping that he'll get to meet the REAL Dragon Lady some day.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

He's a scurvy dog.