Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Harry Potter Fanfic

I have to confess that I haven't read any of the Harry Potter books, and haven't seen any of the movies (caught some of the first on teh t00b when I still had a T.V. machine). Still, I think I could write a decent bit of fanfic about some of the characters. See, we've got a young lady with curly tresses:





And we have a red-headed kid:





So, what would happen if they had a baby, and said baby was possessed by the spirit of an evil sorceror who was thought to have been destroyed?

OMG!!!! It's all real!! J.K. Rowling wasn't writing fiction after all:





Hell, she even has some sort of magic wand!

The Artist Also Known as Arky brings the funny, with his "Voldemurdoch" comment.

17 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I never read the books, but I've seen the DVDs when visiting the relatives.

I can't complain, I was entertained.
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I may do what Johnny Pez did and read them all at once. I resolved not to touch the first one until all of them had be written- no need to get involved in a narrative that ends abruptly (ah, who am I kidding?) without resolution.

I realize I may lose my geek cred here...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Related.

Substance McGravitas said...

For Harry Potter start here.

Dr.KennethNoisewater said...

OK, shallow un-feminist-like time: I think Emma Watson is an absolute DOLL. She is just adorable and lovely.

Hamish Mack said...

To be perfectly Francis, I do not think that you are missing anything, BBBB. There are better writers and better stories around who did all of the HP stuff long before Rowling. I have nothing against her and am glad she has done so well. Suggest Diana Wynne-Jones and Andre Norton's early stuff

Smut Clyde said...

Do not harsh on the ginjas

Unknown said...

I ain't seen any of the movies and I don't read fairy tales. I would rather depress myself and read Naomi Klein.

But I did LMAO over this post..bless you BBBB. ;-D

Mandos said...

I recommend Susan Cooper's "Dark Is Rising" series. My problem with HP is that the magical system is too ad hoc. When the author doesn't constrain herself at the beginning she has an out to excuse any sort of cheap deus ex machina or other alibi as being within the ambit of her magical system. Magic should be subject to some form of conservation law, but when it is casually used to produce candies that flutter around, it becomes a wish-fulfillment fantasy.

Susan Cooper's books ground magic in the life/folklore/habits of British aboriginal peoples. Garth Nix's "Old Kingdom" trilogy grounds it in the dividing line between life and death.

Rowling doesn't really ground it in anything other than, basically, midichlorians.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Harry Potter, TLDR version.

Emma Watson, social commentary on teh surveillance state.

Magical fantasy stuff with Dragons? Someone's gettin' fired.

fish said...

Read them all, seen all the movies. Fun. Sure they have problems and are a little lightweight at times, but you know, kids' books...

But BBBB no one would believe that a character would be that evil without any redeeming qualities.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Related.

Yikes! It's pretty horrible how the paparazzi started pointing cameras up her skirt as soon as she turned 18.

OK, shallow un-feminist-like time: I think Emma Watson is an absolute DOLL. She is just adorable and lovely.

Yeah, she is very attractive- at the risk of sounding like a Creepy Uncle (although not as creepy as the tabloid photogs), it was apparent from the beginning of her career that she would grow up to be gorgeous. You have the excuse that you're an artist, and you have an aesthete's eye. Plus, I imagine you'd be partial to pert-nosed blondes. Finally, this is hilarious.

Suggest Diana Wynne-Jones and Andre Norton's early stuff

I think any "genre" fan would be well-served by reading DW-J's Tough Guide to Fantasyland, which really kicks hack writers in the kidneys. I enjoyed Andre Norton's Witch World, but haven't yet found the sequel in my used book store pokings.

Do not harsh on the ginjas

Ginja ninjas hang out in the Ginza. Not harshing on the redheads, just Rebekah.

I recommend Susan Cooper's "Dark Is Rising" series

I read Dark is Rising- it had a real folkloric feel, like Alan Garner's Y.A. fiction.

My problem with HP is that the magical system is too ad hoc. When the author doesn't constrain herself at the beginning she has an out to excuse any sort of cheap deus ex machina or other alibi as being within the ambit of her magical system.

"A wizard did it!" One of my favorite books is John Bellairs' The Face in the Frost- it has a couple of really human protagonists, and a great combination of genuine creepiness and lighthearted humor.

Heh, D-KW brings teh funneh.

But BBBB no one would believe that a character would be that evil without any redeeming qualities.

Dick Cheney? What?

fish said...

No books with DC. Truth is eviler than fiction.

Nomi said...

The books have plenty of wit and detail and other qualities not captured in the movies, and I am a fan of the movies, too.

But I am one who is a sucker for a boarding school narrative and was raised by anglophiles.

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