Saturday, July 2, 2011

Leave Fireworks to the Professionals

Passed just in time for mid-July, missing the 4th of July completely, the New York legislature has lifted the ban on certain forms of fireworks. I am not a fan of amateur fireworks displays- leave the pyrotechnics to the trained professionals, people (a couple of years ago, I had the great good fortune to work an event which featured fireworks, and the pyrotechnics crew was an awesome bunch of fellows). Of course, the local fire department is also on hand whenever there's a sanctioned fireworks display, thus mitigating the potential dangers of wildfires.

A few years back (I've worked on July 4th for the past four years), I was at a friend of a friend's house for a Fourth of July party. The host had loaded up on a metric shitton of illegal fireworks, and was going to put on a display. His hard-drinking (she's the one who fell into the pool) cousin's even harder-drinking boyfriend was in the basement of the house, looking over the fireworks selection, cigarette dangling from his mouth...

Seeing this, the host yelled at him, "What the hell are you doing smoking?"
The drunkard's reply, "What the hell? You smoke in the house!"

At that, I went outside, and made sure I was ensconced in the farthest corner of the yard.

8 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Last night was "Red, White, and BOOM!" here in Columbus. There will be even more kabang on the 4th.

They love fireworks here, but you can't buy the good stuff like you can get in South Carolina.

P.S. Friend of mine had me load up my trunk with 'good stuff' on the Myrtle trip, since I drove the thundermobile and everyone else flew in...
~

vacuumslayer said...

Listen, I can't help it if I'm so smoking hot I create sparks wherever I go.


There was a dumb joke to be made. I made it. Please don't ban me. :D

Substance McGravitas said...

Did they have exploding schoolhouses? I still have a fondness for those even with the smaller scale.

Smut Clyde said...

Good news for bald bastards.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Smut, that's AWESOME news!

I have to give a shout out to Dusty, who has been commenting about the bad fireworks mojo in her neck of the woods.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Made part of Nicole Atkins show at Fest; also made part of a post about it at the Fest-blog.

She did not have swag at the merch booth, so did not have the opportunity to leverage the Bastard's name to hang with the band, hit it off with Nicole, have a torrid love affair and eventually split up in acrimony and broken personal belongings, resulting in her writing a heart-wrenching masterwork of an album about it.

Her loss.

Dusty,Hells most vocal Bitch said...

ZOMG..you mentioned me! Yer making me blush ya Bastard, stop it before I come over there an smack ya! ;-)

I did a wonderful post today on the holiday gatherings here in Redneckistan. Stop by and chuckle a bit since I have read way too many posts this morning that rightfully take our nation of rubes to task.

Aunt Snow said...

Sparklers - that's my DIY limit on fireworks.

My BIL has friends who set fireworks off on their rural lake property in Florida, and even though they are actually pretty careful about it, I still get nervous. Too much used to living in a high fire area, I guess.