Monday, July 25, 2011

Armagaydon

It's the first day after the first same sex couples legally married in New York state. I'm putting up a quick post before heading out through the smoking ruins of civilization to make a last stand at the ancestral homestead in the Bronx. Hearing the rallying cry of the busybody:





I decided that I have to check up on the children grimly eking out an existence in the ruins of Gaytoplolis, formerly the thriving City of New York, specifically my nephews and (hopefully) my baby cousins. If he's there, I'm hoping on giving some swimming pointers to my cousin **REDACTED**'s younger son, the feisty **REDACTED**.

Wish me luck, the landscape is crawling with gangs of fabulously mutated gay bikers, and the background levels of gaydiation are causing my Gayger counter to "ping" in a most danceable manner.

NOTE: Checking the post, I noted a fortuitous typo- I typed "Gaytoplolis", instead of "Gaytopolis". Given the intent of this post, I think the typo is better than the intended coinage. Congrats to all of the couples who have gotten married, or are planning on doing so. It's about human rights, it's about everyone having the same shot at a little happiness, it's about time.

13 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

So you're going to throw him into the deep end of the pool, and hope he doesn't drown?

(I think that's how I learned to swim, minus the throwing in part...just jumped in, and it was the deep end. Woo hoo! I love swimming!)
~

vacuumslayer said...

How's your penis doing? Is it hungry for man-candy yet?

ALSO: Have you had that gay abortion yet? I heard they are FUN

Whale Chowder said...

Have the roving bands of gay marriagists forced you into a wedding yet? What are they waiting for?

Substance McGravitas said...

The gaypotomus can crush a watermelon in its mighty jaws in an instant. Also destroy society.

Smut Clyde said...

[Hides watermelon]

Whale Chowder said...

[Hides watermelon]

This is the part where I studiously avoid asking where said watermelon might be hid.

nomi said...

Rhode Islanders are holding down the fort of defined marriage.

grrrr.

vacuumslayer said...

This is the part where I studiously avoid asking where said watermelon might be hid.

Yeeeeeeeah, I wouldn't trust Smut with watermelons. Or any fruit you can carve holes in.

Another Kiwi said...

Oh sure you gayhadists are getting all pissy on the watermelonist society now that you're in control.

Smut Clyde said...

are getting all pissy on the watermelonist
EWWWWWW

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

are all the NY conservatives saying "Armagaydon outta here!"?


OK, look, I could start doing "star-spangled banner" puns again.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

So you're going to throw him into the deep end of the pool, and hope he doesn't drown?

That's not how we do it in the Bronx! The older boys (the family skews "male", demographically) were really good about helping the little guys in the water. I was very proud of all the wee waterbugs.

How's your penis doing? Is it hungry for man-candy yet?

My penis is okay, but it wanted to buy a used Mazda Miata and a Kylie Minogue CD. I told it that we just didn't have the funds for the car, but we'd consider the CD, as long as it came with an extensive collection of photos of K.M.

Have the roving bands of gay marriagists forced you into a wedding yet? What are they waiting for?

They know that I'm off limits to anyone except the Emperor.

Wow, the whole "Smut and the Watermelon" meme has taken on a disturbing life of its own...

Hunger Tallest Palin said...

I came in here to tell you how to deal with gay zombies but the watermelon discussion is already driving this thread's decency levels into the negatives.

Sheesh.