Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Return of Objectivist Morrissey

In the course of my 24 posts in 24 hours push, I wrote a post speculating about how The Smiths would have sounded had Morrissey been a hardline Objectivist. This notion has been bouncing around my head for the past couple of weeks (chalk it up to being in a locale with no electricity). Put succinctly, I've had an earworm which was a song which had never been written, so I had to go ahead and finish the damn song:


Mooching parasites, and a tax rate burdensome,
The average working stiff is a bum
But in this hidden gulch, this Randian man.

Why be a slave to guilt and dread,
When the superman's path is the one that you tread?

I would go Galt tonight, but I haven't got a hidden lair.
Ayn Rand said, "It's gruesome, that such a producer should care."

A titan simply shrugs,
and drops the wicked world,
Leaves moochers to their fate,
'Cos greed is such a noble trait.
'Cos greed is such a noble trait.

I would go Galt tonight, but I haven't got a hidden lair.
Ayn Rand said, "It's gruesome, that such a producer should care."

This Randian man

A titan simply shrugs,
and drops the wicked world,
Leaves moochers to their fate,
'Cos greed is such a noble trait.
'Cos greed is such a noble trait.



Of course, for those unfamiliar with Monsieur Morrissey and The Smiths (get with the program, hippie! or get offa mah lawn! whatever the case may be), here's the tune that I dragged kicking and screaming into a dry gulch inhabited by sociopaths:





I ordinarily don't "bleg", but if anyone could "Photoshop" Morrissey's pompadour onto the dour visage of Ayn Rand, I'd totally have their babies.

UPDATE: I figured Objectivist Morrissey deserved his own blog- I'll cross post any entries here as well. I... uh... have more than just a couple of parodies in the pipeline.

7 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Maybe start a wordpress blog, too?

Just to see how the other half lives, and if the grass really is greener on the other side of the road.
~

vacuumslayer said...

B^4, I'll hook you up with your pompadoured Ayn as soon as I get a free moment at the 'puter.

vacuumslayer said...

Axually...would you like me to just go ahead and make a header graphic for your new blog?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

That would be sweet, but you're a busy woman. Thanks for the offer.

Hunger Tallest Palin said...

Oh God, this is 5,000 awesomes in a 10 awesome sack.

If you take requests may I suggest Moocher in a Tutu for your next entry?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

If you take requests may I suggest Moocher in a Tutu for your next entry?

It shows promise and I will work on it, but "Dagny Take a Hike" is the next one in the pipeline, then "Greenspan Knows I'm Miserable Now". Those puppies are almost done.

fish said...

Producer class in a coma?

Mojo Nixon would cover it.