Monday, December 7, 2020

Threat Response

Today is the anniversary of the Pearl Harbor attack, a Japanese sneak attack on a naval harbor in Hawaii which drew the United States into World War 2.  The attack killed 2,403 Americans (PDF), and goaded the citizens of the US to take on heroic sacrifices for the war effort (to this day, my mother refuses to eat oatmeal because she, born a few months before the attack, subsisted on the stuff due to rationing).  To this day, most Americans remember the attack, as we were exhorted to do (CONTENT WARNING: ethnic slurs)... hey, I'm posting about it 79 years later.

79 years later, we have recently seen five days which each saw a higher death toll than the Pearl Harbor attack, yet we cannot seem to mobilize as a country to fight the pandemic.  It's an easier fight than WW2, I mean all people have to do is to wear masks, maintain social distance, and practice basic hygiene.  There is no a sense of urgency among a sizable minority of the population, and the authorities in charge of pandemic response are a fifth column.  There is no shared sense of purpose.

Is this because the enemy is intangible?  Do we need to hate a human opponent in order to mobilize a war effort?  Why are we so paralyzed as a society?  If we can use Pearl Harbor as a watchword for the need to mobilize against an implacable foe 79 years after the fact, why can't we use this memory to mobilize us against the implacable, yet intangible, foe that we are fighting now.


Sunday, December 6, 2020

An Unpardonable Crime

I am one-hundred percent in agreement with the sentiment expressed in this tweet by a Charlottesville, VA activist, and the rhyme just makes it even better:

Back in the before times, I would go to an Indian lunch buffet about every two or three weeks. I would change up which restaurant I hit so as not to give them the impression that I was some sort of ravenous nemesis. 

 Last week, I had to get out of the neighborhood for a couple of hours because my car was parked in an 'alternate side parking' area, and the street I usually park on was closed off due to the ongoing replacement of gas mains in the county. From 1PM to 3PM, the best course of action was to leave town for a while. I decided to head over to Tuckahoe, New York to have lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, Spice Village, an establishment in which I have dined many, many times. 

 Upon arrival, the proprietor offered me two choices- the first choice was to order something off the menu, the second was to order a 'tiffin buffet'. Intrigued, I decided to take the second option. The tiffin buffet turned out to be a large metal platter, in the center of which was a mound of rice, topped with some naan and papadum,  surrounded by nine little metal bowls containing a variety of dishes, a sort of 'greatest hits' of the subcontinent's cuisines: chicken tikka masala, goat curry, yellow dal, saag paneer, tandoori chicken, sambar, poriyal, and a salad.  It was a generous portion, and a good introduction to Indian cuisine for a first timer.  It wasn't as satisfying as the full buffet, but it was an ingenious workaround by unfailingly gracious host.  There's a reason I've been coming to this restaurant since it opened.

This being 2020, the story wouldn't be complete without a melancholy side note- the venerable Epstein's Dry Goods store is closing after 87 years of business.  Online retail was the mortal blow, but the COVID-19 outbreak was the final, fatal stroke.  I remember shopping for clothes here with my mom when I was a wee lad, and it was still the store I would go to if I wished to purchase a pair of jeans.  I hope that Indian buffets make a comback after the pandemic runs its course, just as I hope that mom-and-pop stores make a comeback... but I'm not so optimistic about the latter.

Saturday, December 5, 2020

A Birthday Zoom Conference

 Today marks the birthday of my older brother, Sweetums.  Sweetums received his nickname from my Super Sarcastic Sister while he was in college.  In a conversation with one my brother Vincenzo and my cousin Big Leo, who were contemplating skipping out on a high school pep rally the day before Thanksgiving, my mother told them, "Well, your (ELDEST BROTHER/COUSIN) would never do that."

My sister responded, "He's such a perfect little Sweetums, Sweetums would never skip out on a school function."

No sooner did these words leave her mouth when in walked the young man in question.  My mother, surprised, exclaimed, "I thought you were coming home tomorrow."

My brother responded, "I was offered a ride home, so I bagged a couple of classes so I didn't have to take the bus."

My sister acidly retorted, "Sweetums would never skip class!"

Sure, the nickname was bestowed on him sarcastically, but this didn't last too long.  After some thought, and consultation among ourselves, we came to the conclusion- yes, he is a perfect Sweetums, no joke.  Sweetums, as the eldest, set precedents, and he was a tough act to follow.  He set the tone, and we endeavored to meet the high standards he embodied.  There was never any real rivalry among us, but we internalized the same values, and I'd like to think we've all been successful human beings.  

Sweetums and his family have been living in Switzerland for just about sixteen years.  I called him quickly at 4AM Eastern Standard Time, while working the graveyard shift, and set up a Zoom conference.  I got to say hello to the kids, and commiserate with Sweetums about this crap year.  Things are going better in Switzerland than they are here in the 'States, but that's not a high bar to clear.  Of course, Christmas is going to be yet another washout, which is a super-bummer because I happen to love WeihnachtsmarktenIn the Before Times, Sweetums had floated the idea of a big family reunion in the 'States as a summer plan, but that was rendered impossible... I sincerely hope that the world returns to normal so we can make this thing happen.  That's not too much to ask for a birthday wish

Friday, December 4, 2020

Their Witnesses Are a Rogues Gallery

 Yesterday, I wrote a post about how the freelance lawyers/grifters bringing suit on behalf of the Trump campaign have been splitting the Republican party.  I figured that I would put up a post about the off the wall 'witnesses' that have been brought to court to plead their case for Trump's victory.

First off, we have the racist lady who speculates about what might happen if some 'Chow' shows up to vote without identification:

Yeah, that really turned out well... I even learned a new racial slur from a woman of color! 

Next up, we have a seemingly drunk woman in Michigan, who claimed to be an IT contractor for Dominion voting systems, ranting about poll books to a Republican state representative:

As added bonuses, she turns out to have a profile page on a website for actors and models... she deserves an Emmy for this particular performance. The crowning glory, besides her mop of hair, is the fact that she is on probation for committing computer crime

Then we have the truck driver who claimed that he was tasked with shipping fraudulent ballots from New York to Pennsylvania... and claims that his family is haunted by shadowy supernatural presences:

Dude's living in an A. Merritt novel, albeit a stupid one.  Shadow people, shadow ballots... he seems credible.

Thankfully, everyone involved in Trump's attempt to call a mulligan on the election is an idiot, from Trump on down.  Marx famously said that history repeats itself, the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.  Right now, we are witnessing history as tragedy AND farce.  We're still not out of the weeds as a nation, there's always the possibility of violent response to Trump finally losing power, but somehow even that violence will be farcical.

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Circular Firing Squad Forms

Lindsey Graham is a mendacious little twerp, but he made one prediction back in 2016 that is coming to fruition now:

In the aftermath of Donald Trump's loss to Joe Biden, there are rifts among Republicans, with crazed attorney Lin Wood urging Trump supporters not to vote in the upcoming Georgia senate runoff elections:  

"Do not be fooled twice. This is Georgia, we ain't dumb. We're not going to go vote on January 5th on another machine made by China. You're not going to fool Georgians again. Why would you go back and vote in another rigged election? For God's sake, fix it. You got to fix it before we'll do it again." 

 Wood's partner in the scam, Sidney Powell, is also echoing this bizarre strategy. This isn't going over well with mainstream Republicans, such as Newt Gingrich, have determined that Wood and his gang of grifters, pose a danger to Republican electoral prospects:

Poking around social media sites, it would seem that Breitbart, with its criticism of Wood, will be the next right-wing media operation to be determined insufficiently pure of ideology.  The right-wing is fracturing into factions in the aftermath of Trump's loss, and a Dolchstoßlegende is being written in real-time.  The 2022 and 2024 Republican primaries are sure to be a three-ring circus, with QAnon adherents, mainstream MAGA morons, and traditional Republicans jockeying for position in a party that has gone completely around the bend.  The circular firing squad has started to form up, and I keep scratching my head, pondering why they are tearing themselves apart over an incompetent con artist who managed to hijack their party.

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

The Bourne Stupidity

Conspiracy theorists are those persons who reject the precepts of Occam's Razor, the simple explanation is to be eschewed in favor of byzantine plots and counterplots... I call this tendency Jones' Gluegun.  In the current political climate, Trump supporters are incapable of accepting that their candidate had a terrible record on the pandemic raging through the US, that African-Americans in cities vote, and that Trump's attacks on voting by mail led his supporters to eschew it, while Democratic voters embraced it.  No, Trump had to have been cheated out of victory by Sleepy Joe Biden.

The explanations for Trump's defeat have been manifold and bizarre.  My favorite conspiracy theory about this loss concerns a tale of a gun battle between U.S. Army Special Forces and CIA operatives in a CIA run server farm in Germany, a battle in which the military secured a server used to flip votes for Biden.  In some of the more baroque versions of the tale, CIA director Gina Haspel was injured, or perhaps killed, in the battle, so if she shows up in public, that means that the Deep State Cabal has cloned her.  Funny, this gun battle in Frankfurt never made the news in Deutschland, a country not known for mass gun violence.  In a sop to the QAnon crowd, who believe that an anonymous shitposter on a toxic internet imageboard is a high-ranking military intelligene operative, this narrative also posits that the 'Kraken' referred to by various MAGA morons, notably Sidney Powell, is the 305th Military Intelligence Battalion, never mind that this battalion is composed of trainees, not seasoned operatives.

On an even more sinister note, the minions of the Democratic Party arranged for an entire county to Michigan to just disappear.  Why couldn't the military prevent this from occurring?

The MAGA lunatics have given up on real life, substituting a whackaloon spy narrative for the mundane truth of electoral processes.  Understanding the reality of the situation would require study, which is anathema to these slugs. Why settle for a hum-drum tale of mail-in ballots and inner city vote tallies when you can have a high-octane thriller to occupy your imagination?  It's Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy with  the Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV guy as the protagonist... or, better yet, Jason Bourne, only stupid.

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Mild Mannered Muscle Man Made Malevolent Masked Menace

 Some fictional characters are just too epic to be encompassed by a single actor.  When I was a wee boy, I saw the original Star Wars in the theater.  In the opening scene of this whiz-bang science-fiction film, depicting a shootout in a gleaming-white spaceship corridor, a discordant image appeared, a dark knight right out of a sword-and-sorcery movie:

 

 

Like most kids who first saw the film, this was a bit of a freakout, a menacing figure of nightmare, or perhaps knightmare, lending a Gothic touch to a space opera.  Appropriately, this archetype out of dark fantasy was played by a man who could have stepped out of a Frank Frazetta painting:

 


Well, David Prowse, who incarnated Darth Vader's menacing physique (James Earl Jones lent his sonorous voice to the villain), passed away at the age of 85 from COVID-19 complications:

By all accounts, he was a lovely man, well-loved by his costars and his legions of fans, though his relationship with Star Wars creator George Lucas soured for some time.  The conventional wisdom is that Mr Prowse wasn't exactly happy that James Earl Jones' voice had been dubbed over his without his knowledge:

 


James Earl Jones, magnanimously, elected to remain uncredited for the first two 'Star Wars' movies because he felt that David Prowse's physicality defined the performance.

Mr Prowse didn't always play villainous roles, he was an iconic figure in public safety announcements (which were pretty crazy in the 70s) in the UK, playing superhero Green Cross Code Man, confronting children who crossed streets in unsafe fashion:

 


Hilariously, he resumed the role, which garnered him the Order of the British Empire, in the 21st century, telling adults to cross the street responsibly:



The man lived a good life, having a career as a bodybuilder and weightlifting champion before his acting career took off, and I recall reading that he developed a line of travel dumbbells which could be filled with water for working out and emptied to be packed in luggage.  Just reading people's reactions to his death, he comes across as a jolly, kindly man- the sort of guy who would let kids sit on his massive arms when he visited schools for his safety campaign, the sort of guy who would gladly pose with fans at conventions.  It's amazing that such a nice fellow could so adequately play the most iconic villain in the pop-culture canon.