Saturday, December 29, 2018

Paul Ryan Leaves, Objectivist Morrissey Returns

There really isn't a lot I need to say about Paul Ryan leaving the House of Representatives. I think the guy is awful, by which I mean offal- he's the classic case of the guy who wants to pull the ladder up behind him- he received Social Security survivor benefits after the death of his father yet claimed to dream of cutting government benefits since he was a frathole at keggers. Yeah, I'd come to bury Ryan in snark, not to praise him, but I think he's pretty much done- the House is lost to his party, which is lost to Trump.

Back in 2011, I went through a manic phase while working a split-shift at work, a graveyard shift followed by an afternoon/evening shift. In these heady conditions, I wrote 24 blog posts in 24 hours, one of which imagined singer/songwriter Morrissey as a hardcore Objectivist. This led to a spate of writing Objectivist parodies of songs by Morrissey's old band, the Smiths, and even its own short-lived blog which ran its course because there aren't a lot of Smiths songs to parody and, well, Morrissey became a far-right loon so imagining him as a hardcore Randian became unnecessary and not-so-fun.

There is a bit of unfinished business, though, back in the 2012 election season, my older brother, Sweetums, suggested that I write an Objectivist Morrissey parody about Paul Ryan. I had a half-finished piece rattling around my head, but the election season wasn't fun until B. Hussein Obummer won, and I left the piece unfinished, unposted. Now, with Paul Ryan seemingly leaving the public eye for good, I figured I'd post the parody, though it is now woefully dated:

We're cryin', Mister Ryan, at this sickening mess,
And this Kenyan Usurper who'd penalize success.
You must stand fast, and athwart history
And you must reclaim GOP mastery.

Greed, greed glorious greed,
It despises the people in need.
But I'd rather be greedy
Than righteous or holy
Any day, any day, any day.

But frankly, I am more inclined
To be lobbyist courted and wined.
I want to cut and I want to slash.
I want to do something that others may deem rash.

We're cryin', Mister Ryan, at this sickening mess,
And this Kenyan Usurper who'd penalize success.
Oh, I didn't realise that you wrote policy.
I didn't realise you wrote such poor despising policy, Mister Ryan.

Frankly Mister Ryan since you cut
You are a pain in a socialist's butt.
I do not mean to fluff you so,
But I can't be lying, Mister Ryan.

Don't give them your money!

This bit is a parody of the bouncy Frankly, Mister Shankly:

Cross-posted at, where else?


Bea said...

I prefer offal to Ryan. Morrissey has been known to say some outrageous shit, but I still prefer him to Ryan. Clever parody.

mistah charley, ph.d. said...

i know nothing of morrissey, a bit about paul ryan and so-called objectivism, and more about manic phases

specifically, i had a manic phase that changed my life in a major way

this was in my early 30s - i had known for quite a while that i was a depressive, but through a combination of biophysical and psychosocial events it became clear i was a manic depressive

i spent a week in a psychiatric ward, was arrested, and had to change my career plans - who knows if it was good or bad? both, is my guess

my delusions were pretty garden-variety - but i wrote a sonnet about going in and out of psychosis, and it is the best sonnet i have ever done - so far

Midway in my life's trip through a dark wood

Archaic myths of heaven and of hell
that slept beneath the surface of my mind
awoke and filled my days - this earthly shell
was just one phase in Yahweh's Grand Design -

With Haldol and/or time I came back down,
put limits on my ecstasy and rage,
and moved from outer space back into town.
The Son of God no more, but just a man
like any other man, I'm back on earth.
The world won't end - just my allotted span.
It's up to me to make it what it's worth.
There's mud beneath my feet, and stars above -
I'm here to lessen fear and foster love.

the kansas song 'carry on wayward son' resonates with my experience at that time

nowadays i take fluoxetine to keep myself on a somewhat even keel, affectively - mania hasn't been a problem for me for decades

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I fear, however, Ryan may take a swing at Wisconsin Governor next go-round.