Thursday, April 19, 2012

A Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy to Make Him Seem Wankerish

Is there no help for the plutocrat's son? Poor little rich boy Mitt Romney is convinced that he will be the victim of a vast left wing conspiracy:


"There will be an effort by the quote vast left wing conspiracy to work together to put out their message and to attack me. They're going to do everything they can to divert from the message people care about, which is a growing economy that creates more jobs and rising incomes. That's what people care about."


Yeah, Mitt, there's a vast left wing conspiracy to make you seem like an out-of-touch, condescending douchebag. The conspiracy is a wide one... everybody seems to be in on it. Cookie enthusiasts are in on it. Young black schoolchildren are in on it. Impertinent reporters are in on it. Dogs are in on it. Mothers who receive public assistance are in on it. Mitt's campaign advisor is in on it. Mitt's wife, herself smug, entitled, and out of touch, is in on it. Hell, even Mitt Romney is in on the vast left wing conspiracy.

Yeah, Mitt, it's a vast left wing conspiracy to make you look like a clueless cobag... since you are a clueless cobag, the entire fabric of the universe is wrapped up in this conspiracy. You can't buy friends, Mittens, and even your attempts to approximate a human personality go over like a lead balloon. Better stay away from public interaction going forward, it just cracks your lifelike facade.

UPDATE: I missed out on the obvious joke... GOP Presidential candidate Mitt Romney will be attacked by a vast left-wing conspiracy headed by Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney.

6 comments:

wiley said...

So the left is like one of those parasites that infects the brain of it's host and makes it act in the interest of the parasite to the detriment of the host?

Is this the latest in nano-technology?

Mitt, you're a douche bag. As a stinky-rich and privileged douchebag, it only adds to your douchebaggery when you try to play the victim. A filthy rich douche bag on a pity-potty is most unseemingly. At least half your base is already averting it's eyes lest it see your magic underwear.
Sheesh, now you want them to feel sorry for you?

Douchey, douchey douche bag.

Substance McGravitas said...

Obama the Puppet Masteris soft on Iran's nuclear program because he needs a fresh supply of radioactive clay.

M. Bouffant said...

Can't wait for the debates. Mittens may pull a reverse Ford & claim that Eastern Europe is still under Communist Russian control.

Smut Clyde said...

Is there no help for the plutocrat's son?

I see what you do there.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Reptiloid Libel!!!
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

So the left is like one of those parasites that infects the brain of it's host and makes it act in the interest of the parasite to the detriment of the host?

The left is an amorphous entity that takes on whatever aspect a right-wing lunatic needs it to. It is simultaneously weak, effete, and elitist and powerful, proactive and brutish. Funny thing, that left.

Obama the Puppet Masteris soft on Iran's nuclear program because he needs a fresh supply of radioactive clay.

I thought this was going to be a Heinlein link, and was confused about the radioactive clay. Comic book radiation, is there anything you can't do?

Can't wait for the debates. Mittens may pull a reverse Ford & claim that Eastern Europe is still under Communist Russian control.

He'll pull a couple of reverse Romneys, for sure.

I see what you do there.

Apparently, Joseph Smith was inspired to a great degree by Masonry.

Reptiloid Libel!!!

Is there no help for the reptiloid's son?