In a comment to a recent post at Casa de la Sustancia, Vacuumslayer (who is part of the Axis of VS) asked a guestion about the giant African pouched rats which seem to be invading the U.S.:
Hey, B^4, how would you make that giant rat delicious?
My initial reaction is to treat the giant rat like a guinea pig, and go the Peruvian/Andean route. Of course, rodents probably taste a lot like lagomorphs, so a hasenpfeffer recipe would probably serve well. I imagine that rat is low-fat (how 'bout that?), so I'd avoid roasting it. I'd probably braise it- make a sofritto of onion, carrot, celery, garlic, maybe some green pepper, then add the giant rat, then add some crushed tomatoes and white wine, season to taste, and braise the bejeezus out of it. Perhaps giant rat red curry would be delicious, served over jasmine rice. At any rate, there are bound to be a number of ways to make the beast palatable, should you choose to eat that rat:
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23 comments:
So, you are the go-to guy on difficult strange questions now? foraging, music, cooking vermin.... You're like the Cecil Adams of the bloggerhood?
OK, here's one.
Since "architect" is now pretty much a non-viable historic profession like 'chimney sweep' or 'corset-wrangler', what the fuck am I supposed to do with what remains of my life to keep body and soul together?
Firstly, I thank you for answering the question.
Secondly, I think I will politely beg off rat-eating. The braising and the aromatics and everything sounds GREAT...but there's still the matter of ingesting a giant rat.
OK, now here's the money question: I know you're an omnivore's omnivore--Would you eat a giant rat? For realsies?
Since "architect" is now pretty much a non-viable historic profession like 'chimney sweep' or 'corset-wrangler', what the fuck am I supposed to do with what remains of my life to keep body and soul together?
With your skill in robotics, you can always build a robot army and become a supervillain. Protip: if the secret agent infiltrates your lair, don't come up with an overelaborate scheme to kill him.
OK, now here's the money question: I know you're an omnivore's omnivore--Would you eat a giant rat? For realsies?
I wouldn't have a problem with eating a giant rat as long as it was raised under clean conditions (sorry, subway and sewer rats). I've actually eaten cuy, so I'm 80% there already.
Rat corndogs. Rat ham. Rat nuggets. For special occasions, though ---rat-a-toullie and polenta.
Would you eat a giant rat?
Worst Dr Seuss book EVAH.
Would you eat commercially-farmed capybara or coypu, or would it have to be free-range and foraged?
Hmm, the Whackyweedia is discouraging about the viability of coypu meat farms:
While there have been many attempts to establish markets for coypu meat, all documented cases have generally been unsuccessful. Unscrupulous entrepreneurs have promoted coypu and coypu farms for their value as "meat", "fur", or "aquatic weed control". In recent years they have done so in countries such as the United States, China, Taiwan and Thailand. In every documented case the entrepreneurs sell coypu "breeding stock" at very high prices. Would-be coypu farmers find that the markets for their products disappear after the promoter has dropped out of the picture.
OTOH, capybara meat farms are apparently big in Venezuela.
I imagine we will all have a different attitude when we get hungry enough, after President Rmoney makes society collapse.
Only organic, free-range, farmed rats for Monsieur Bastard!
I want my rats to be treated like Wagyu cattle- given beer and massages to improve to quality of the meat.
Rat corndogs. Rat ham. Rat nuggets. For special occasions, though ---rat-a-toullie and polenta.
Wiley, that's some food porn you're writing... MOAR PLEEZE!!!
I never could stomach "Ratatouille". Rats in the kitchen? No.
You make UB40 really sad.
Would you eat commercially-farmed capybara or coypu, or would it have to be free-range and foraged?
Farm raised capybara would be fine for me!
OTOH, capybara meat farms are apparently big in Venezuela.
The meat even sells big during Lent.
I imagine we will all have a different attitude when we get hungry enough, after President Rmoney makes society collapse.
Maybe Romney had his dog on the car roof so he could sell it to some peons for food.
I want my rats to be treated like Wagyu cattle- given beer and massages to improve to quality of the meat.
Now you have me worried about the Frau Doktorin's intentions.
You make UB40 really sad.
well played, sir.
...to answer the inevitable question, Yes. Three times.
So, you are the go-to guy on difficult strange questions now?
B^4, if asked a question by a panther, don't anther.
~
I'd like a slice without quite so much rat in it.
If a rat dies in the sewer, does anybody care?
I guess I can add them to the list of foods to eat when the apocalypse goes down...
((Hugs))
Laura
Now you have me worried about the Frau Doktorin's intentions.
I don't think you should worry, until she tries to remove your mucilaginous pellicle...
well played, sir.
She lobbed it over the plate, how could I not knock it out of the park?
B^4, if asked a question by a panther, don't anther.
Ogden Nash is one of my all-time faves.
TVP Rat Substitute.
This had me laughing out loud... well done!
I'd like a slice without quite so much rat in it.
One slice, extra rat!
I guess I can add them to the list of foods to eat when the apocalypse goes down...
I look forward to the recipe for "Laura's Best Ever Rat on a Stick".
The original rat looked awfully fatty to me. It wouldn't be out of place on a kebab skewer.
So, you are the go-to guy on difficult strange questions now?
Feathers or lead?
It wouldn't be out of place on a kebab skewer.
Would you dust it with cumin, or with sumac powder?
So, you are the go-to guy on difficult strange questions now?
Feathers or lead?
For pillows, feathers... for bullets, lead.
A) Jesus, are you all trying to make me more anorexic?
B) The go-to guy on rat cuisine is G. Gordon Liddy. Don't they teach history any more in your crummy schools?
This is probably too late, but with a giant rat, I would skin and slow-cook it in an electric roaster, myself. Once the meat is falling off the bone, it's easier to sieve the bones out. I recommend cooking two side by side for an intimate meal if you have a 12 quart machine. Marination is essential--I would recommend a simple marinade of balsamic vinegar/olive oil dressing and herbe de provence, with a cinnamon stick and nutmeg. Carrots and yukon potatoes on the side. It's nice and stew-y that way.
I have found that if I treat anything with beer and massage, I have questions about eating it--but that's more of a Penthouse Forum issue. (I am so wrong :>)
A) Jesus, are you all trying to make me more anorexic?
Hey, don't blame me for your adherence to the beauty industrial complex' unrealistic aesthetic standards! Fight the power!
This is probably too late
Never too late, VS! I like your approach to rat-cookery.
I am confused by the proliferation of VSes. Please wear numbers and/or distinguishing hats.
Thank you.
Also, if I am going to be hopelessly trapped in an outdated profession, I have decided to pursue a position as 'corset-wrangler' in that there are still fetishists that need services, as opposed to people building buildings.
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