Objectivist Morrissey Didn't Go Galt

Back when I did my bizarre 24 posts in 24 hours postapalooza, I debuted the "character" of Objectivist Morrissey, a Bizarro World Morrissey who was a huge fan of Ayn Rand. Objectivist Morrissey appealed to me so much that I thought he merited his own blog. It's been a while since I've revisited the guy, mainly because real-world Morrissey can be just as horrible as his parallel universe doppelgänger. I can't stay mad forever, especially if it gets in the way of a good joke, so here's Dagny, Take a Hike, the latest from Objectivist Morrissey:


Is it wrong to want to keep what you've got?
Ayn Rand would tell you, “Surely not!”
How can this world be just
When lice aren't shot?

Dagny, take a- Dagny, take a hike.
Stop the wheels of the world in their tracks, dear.
And don't produce tonight,
Go Galt and find the one that you love and who loves you.
The one that you love and who loves you


Is it wrong to hate your lessers, my dear?
No it's not wrong, so have no fear.
Leave them all in your dust,
Your way is clear!


Dagny, take a- Dagny, take a hike.
Stop the wheels of the world in their tracks, dear.
And don't produce tonight,
Go Galt and find the one that you love and who loves you.
The one that you love and who loves you.

Find my gulch and disappear.
La la la la la la la la.
Throw your blueprints onto the fire.
Come out and find the one that you love!


I have an an additional verse, but it would throw off the flow of the song:


Is it wrong to scorn the weak and the poor?
Ayn Rand would tell you "No!", I'm sure.
How could you be so rich, if you aren't pure?


For those of you unfamiliar with The Smiths, this song is a spoof of Sheila, Take a Bow:





I divided this post into two smaller posts, cross posted (where else?) at Objectivist Morrissey.

Objectivist Morrissey Back in Action

I feel I've been neglecting Objectivist Morrissey, but Objectivist Morrissey doesn't need my pity! Anyway, this might be my second-best effort after the original Objectivist Morrissey parody. Anyway, without further ado, here's Man in Gulch:


Man in gulch
The dumb blind louts are left behind
No, I’m not like any other man
I’m superior ‘cause I’m not kind
Man in gulch
I can do whatever I can
And everything depends upon
My magic power plant.
And if the moochers whine
Then let the moochers whine.
Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care
Not your slave...

Man in gulch
The weak people whine
Yes I may be hidden by so well,
All the moochers can go to hell.
Man in gulch
The dumb blind louts are left behind
Yes I may be hidden by so well,
All the moochers can go to hell.
And if the moochers whine
Then let the moochers whine.
Oh, I really don't know and I really don't car
Not your slave...

So man in gulch, I stake my claim
I'll fight to the last breath
If they dare tax a bit of my bread
I'll fight to the last breath
For the moochers are out there somewhere,
So come into my gulch my little Dagny
But you lice can go to hell
Yes you lice can go to hell
And you'll probably never see me again
I hope you’ll never see me again.
I know you’ll never see me again.


For those of you not into Der Schmidts, this is a parody of Hand in Glove:





The inspiration for this one was a bit bizarre- the phrase "man in gulch" had been kicking around inside my skull for a while, but it took some time before I had a rhyme for the bizarre line "the sun shines out of our behinds", and when it did, I knew I had a winner. Cross posted at (where else?) Objectivist Morrissey.

Paul Ryan Leaves, Objectivist Morrissey Returns

There really isn't a lot I need to say about Paul Ryan leaving the House of Representatives. I think the guy is awful, by which I mean offal- he's the classic case of the guy who wants to pull the ladder up behind him- he received Social Security survivor benefits after the death of his father yet claimed to dream of cutting government benefits since he was a frathole at keggers. Yeah, I'd come to bury Ryan in snark, not to praise him, but I think he's pretty much done- the House is lost to his party, which is lost to Trump.

Back in 2011, I went through a manic phase while working a split-shift at work, a graveyard shift followed by an afternoon/evening shift. In these heady conditions, I wrote 24 blog posts in 24 hours, one of which imagined singer/songwriter Morrissey as a hardcore Objectivist. This led to a spate of writing Objectivist parodies of songs by Morrissey's old band, the Smiths, and even its own short-lived blog which ran its course because there aren't a lot of Smiths songs to parody and, well, Morrissey became a far-right loon so imagining him as a hardcore Randian became unnecessary and not-so-fun.

There is a bit of unfinished business, though, back in the 2012 election season, my older brother, Sweetums, suggested that I write an Objectivist Morrissey parody about Paul Ryan. I had a half-finished piece rattling around my head, but the election season wasn't fun until B. Hussein Obummer won, and I left the piece unfinished, unposted. Now, with Paul Ryan seemingly leaving the public eye for good, I figured I'd post the parody, though it is now woefully dated:


We're cryin', Mister Ryan, at this sickening mess,
And this Kenyan Usurper who'd penalize success.
You must stand fast, and athwart history
And you must reclaim GOP mastery.

Greed, greed glorious greed,
It despises the people in need.
But I'd rather be greedy
Than righteous or holy
Any day, any day, any day.

But frankly, I am more inclined
To be lobbyist courted and wined.
I want to cut and I want to slash.
I want to do something that others may deem rash.

We're cryin', Mister Ryan, at this sickening mess,
And this Kenyan Usurper who'd penalize success.
Oh, I didn't realise that you wrote policy.
I didn't realise you wrote such poor despising policy, Mister Ryan.

Frankly Mister Ryan since you cut
You are a pain in a socialist's butt.
I do not mean to fluff you so,
But I can't be lying, Mister Ryan.

Don't give them your money!


This bit is a parody of the bouncy Frankly, Mister Shankly:





Cross-posted at, where else?

The Return of Objectivist Morrissey

In the course of my 24 posts in 24 hours push, I wrote a post speculating about how The Smiths would have sounded had Morrissey been a hardline Objectivist. This notion has been bouncing around my head for the past couple of weeks (chalk it up to being in a locale with no electricity). Put succinctly, I've had an earworm which was a song which had never been written, so I had to go ahead and finish the damn song:


Mooching parasites, and a tax rate burdensome,
The average working stiff is a bum
But in this hidden gulch, this Randian man.

Why be a slave to guilt and dread,
When the superman's path is the one that you tread?

I would go Galt tonight, but I haven't got a hidden lair.
Ayn Rand said, "It's gruesome, that such a producer should care."

A titan simply shrugs,
and drops the wicked world,
Leaves moochers to their fate,
'Cos greed is such a noble trait.
'Cos greed is such a noble trait.

I would go Galt tonight, but I haven't got a hidden lair.
Ayn Rand said, "It's gruesome, that such a producer should care."

This Randian man

A titan simply shrugs,
and drops the wicked world,
Leaves moochers to their fate,
'Cos greed is such a noble trait.
'Cos greed is such a noble trait.


Of course, for those unfamiliar with Monsieur Morrissey and The Smiths (get with the program, hippie! or get offa mah lawn! whatever the case may be), here's the tune that I dragged kicking and screaming into a dry gulch inhabited by sociopaths:





I ordinarily don't "bleg", but if anyone could "Photoshop" Morrissey's pompadour onto the dour visage of Ayn Rand, I'd totally have their babies.

UPDATE: I figured Objectivist Morrissey deserved his own blog- I'll cross post any entries here as well. I... uh... have more than just a couple of parodies in the pipeline.

Objectivist Morrissey Don't Need No Golden Lights

Since Christmastime is upon us, many homeowners are decorating their homes with festive lights. Of course, Objectivist Morrissey, being a devotee of PURE REASON, has no truck with such fripperies and frivolities. There are no Christmas trees cheerfully illuminating the Gulch, kiddo... golden lights can't cheer up Objectivist Morrissey, but he's not against gold by any stretch of the imagination:


Golden coins, displaying my worth
Golden coins, I'm best man on Earth
Scorning poor folks
Gives me much mirth.

One in a million, a John Galt, a big boss
How dare you question my profit and your loss?
How dare you question my greed,
When it's much more noble than your need

Golden coins, displaying my worth
Golden coins, I'm best man on Earth
Scorning poor folks
Gives me much mirth.

I made my money, wheeling, dealing,
You, stupid moocher, accuse me of stealing.
Your regulations are raising my hackles,
They bind me surer than shackles.

Golden coins, displaying my worth
Golden coins, I'm best man on Earth
Scorning poor folks
Gives me much mirth.

Top tier titan, capital kingpin.
I seek the truth, Jack, with pure reason.
You hate my brains, and my guts, my success.
Your envy causes such distress.

Golden coins, displaying my worth
Golden coins, I'm best man on Earth
Scorning poor folks
Gives me much mirth.


This is a spoof of Golden Lights which featured vocals by the late, great
Kirsty MacColl (of course, she sang the female lead on the Greatest Christmas Song Ever, and I really have to do a future post on her and another one on her dad, folksinger Ewan MacColl, who -I did not know this- wrote First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, one of Roberta Flack's signature songs).

The song Golden Lights was originally recorded by 60's teen pop pixie Twinkle:





Cross posted, as always, at the gulch.

Objectivist Morrissey Strikes Again

Although Arky/Hunger Tallest Palin/Whatever 'nym Mr G. is using at this time requested Moocher in a Tutu as my next Objectivist Morrissey parody, the nature of inspiration is such that the following came to me in the course of a couple of minutes:


Moocher, moocher I was only joking when I said,
I didn't want you well and truly dead.
Moocher, moocher I was only joking when I said,
Your body shouldn't be filled up with hot lead.

And now I know how Howard Roark felt,
Now I know how Howard Roark felt
As the flames rose, past his upturned nose
As he razed where the moochers now dwelt.

Rand man, ooooohohohaha, Rand man, whoa ho ho ho,
Rand man strikes again,
You've got no right to shackle him,
With your worldview dim.


Of course, Bigmouth Strikes Again is an easy target- much of the song consists of "Ho's and Ha's and Whoa's and La's". That being said, The Fountainhead is an even easier target. Here's a video for Bigmouth Strikes Again, for those not familiar with the original:





Of course, this is cross-posted at the new place. Oddly enough, Morrissey is number three in Yahoo's "Trending Now" category today.

Heaven Knows I'm Writing Too Many Objectivist Morrissey Spoofs

Yeah, I just can't help it, the whole Objectivist Morrissey thing is like an addiction. The news is pretty interesting, but it's being dominated by two stories- the Newscorp scandal and the debt ceiling showdown, both ongoing sagas of a most sordid nature. Hell, time to do something goofy, time to spoof Ayn Rand and a Smiths song:


I was happy in the haze of polluting power,
But Greenspan knows I'm miserable now.
I was looking for a gulch, and didn't find a gulch,
And Greenspan knows I'm miserable now.

In my life, why do I give valuable time,
To people who think tax evasion is a crime?

Two union guys stand, with paychecks in hand,
Now Greenspan knows I'm miserable now.

In my life, why do smile,
At moochers who would steal me blind?

I was happy in the haze of polluting power,
But Greenspan knows I'm miserable now.

What Ayn asked of me at the end of the day,
Nathaniel would have blushed.
"You've been with that hag too long," she said,
"And I, I want her dead."

In my life, why do I give valuable time,
To people who think price-gouging's a crime?


A lesser effort, compared to This Randian Man, but one cannot bring one's "A" game every time.

Of course, the song is a spoof of Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, but an Objectivist invoking heaven would not have been appropriate:





Cross-posted at the new place.

Objectivist Morrissey

I was thinking, "What if there were a parallel universe in which Morrissey were a hard-core Objectivist? What if The Smiths were forging rearden metal? What would that sound like?"

I would go Galt tonight, but I haven't got a hidden lair.
Ayn Rand said, "It's gruesome, that such a producer should care."

Ten Years and One Week of Bastardy

If a guy forgot his tenth anniversary, you'd probably mutter. "What a bastard..." Well, that's exactly what I did- my tenth anniversary was last Sunday. The blog started on 12/1/2009, when I posted a silly riff on the introduction to Robert E. Howard's original 'Conan' story, The Phoenix on the Sword, which inspired the opening of the Conan the Barbarian movie (perhaps the greatest barbarian movie of all time). It was a silly post, but the important thing was that it got the ball rolling... an old co-worker of mine, one Johnny Alvarado, had a motto: "There's nothing to it, but to do it." That post was the initial 'doing it'. The two big inspirations behind the blog were the exhortations of my great and good friend Francesco Rulli, and the example set by the storied snark blog Sadly, No! The bulk of my early blogroll was composed of Sadly, No! regulars. Over the years of blogging, I wrote for Rumproast as well, and some of my co-bloggers there are also on the blogroll.

As of this writing, I've had 1,761,105 hits in my ten years, with my by-far most popular post (with a whopping 302,942 hits, most of them spambots) being my 2013 post about eating a kousa dogwood fruit before I knew for sure that it was edible. My top five countries are the United States, France, Russia, Germany, and the United Kingdom.

I've long thought that my most important posts are the Secret Science Club post-lecture recaps. ee, When I started them, they were very rudimentary descriptions of the lectures, but I quickly came to the realization that I owed Margaret and Dorian and the lecturers more, and got serious about the recaps, taking extensive, barely legible (hey, you juggle a beer, pen, and notepad in a dark nightclub) notes and spending hours on each post, verifying information and hunting down links. These posts are the ones which most challenge me, each one is like a mini term paper, with you good people being my graders. They are a lot more difficult than just posting some political snark or a cute cat pic. My one most outré blogging experience was my 2011 24 Posts in 24 Hours stunt, which led to the spinoff Objectivist Morrissey project, which would be more funny if Morrissey hadn't turned into a real right-wing nutter.

Throughout my ten years of blogging, life has been pretty stable- I have had the same job all along, though when I started, it was a part-time position to ensure a steady trickle of money while I was working as a contractor (n.b.: clients never want to pay on time), but I was hired full-time and promoted to head the department within two years, all because I was the one office software proficient guy. I'm coy about posting too much information about my job, but I work in beautiful surroundings and enjoy myself perhaps too much (work shouldn't feel like a kick in the balls). In the course of my job, I have blogged about three of my feline co-workers- the dear, departed Moses and Fred, and the lively, lovely Ginger. Right now, while there's talk about getting a second (and maybe a third) mouser for the site, we're in the midst of a major construction project involving one of the buildings requiring mousing, and Ginger is such a dominant force that we're reluctant to force a younger cat to share quarters with her until they become acclimated. Of course, there are also the wild critters that I share my stomping grounds with... both enemies and friends. In the decade, I have inhabited two apartments, six blocks from each other, in the same neighborhood, the 'tavern district' of Yonkers. While I do enjoy a spot of novelty, life has been pretty stable for me throughout my blogging career. I realize that I am extremely lucky in this regard.

I want to thank you all for your support over the years. M. Bouffant and Tengrain in particular have been most generous in linking to my blog at Crooks and Liars. Driftglass and Blue Gal have also been very generous with their links and their support. Without you readers, though, the whole endeavor would be for naught. You're the reason I keep doing this thing. It's been a hell of a decade, and you have been a hell of an audience. Much love, much gratitude!

Been at it Two Years

Today marks the two year mark of this blog... I have to thank everybody in the bloggerhood for making this a very fun, very enlightening endeavor. I kinda see this blog as my personal "magazine", an e-publication in which I have complete editorial control. I'm the reporter, the bloviator, the humor columnist, the gossip columnist- I even brew the coffee and clean the pissoir. The one thing for which I'm not responsible is the "Letters to the Editor" section, so thanks a million for your comments, everybody. I'm really grateful for your friendship and your support... without you wonderful folks, I'd just be some guy yelling at a cloud.

It's funny... the whole concept of the Big Bad Bald Bastard really started as a bit of a joke- while the Bastard is recognizably moi, he's a tongue-in-cheek version of me. He's a spoof of the manly-man stereotype, rendered by a guy who's really a supergeek at heart. I hope it's a spoof of gender stereotypes done right. That being said, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't useful to play the Bastard at times (a couple of times, I've had belligerents back off by telling them, "Uh, I'm not as wimpy as I look!"). As an aside, fighting's like fucking, it really should only be done with people you like, who know what they're doing, and have your best interests at heart (this sentence, which has been kicking around my big bald noggin for quite some time now, deserves its own post)

Anyway, that's a bit of Bastard backstory... now onto a quick review of the year. I think my greatest blogging achievement of the past year (indeed, of my whole career) was my 24 posts in 24 hours slog. I had to work that cruelest of workdays, the graveyard shift/evening shift (worst slashfic EVER!!!) split, so I decided to amuse myself with a series of largely stream-of-consciousness posts. It was on that fateful day when Objectivist Morrissey, first conceived of in a Sadly, No! comment, shuffled out of the gulch, so to speak.

This year also marked the glorious occasion when I became the internet's number one unapologetic ass man (although I originally applied that moniker to Frank Frazetta (to this day, that post remains, by far, my most popular, with the search terms "voluptuous women" and "Frazetta women" being my two most popular search criteria- I hereby offer a sincere apology to all the hapless horndogs who came looking for Dejah Thoris' ass and found my face).

The blogroll has grown quite a bit, and I'm happy to have had Laura and Dusty join the cast of regulars who have been so supportive all along. I love how the neighborhood keeps expanding, and I'll continually keep an eye toward expanding it.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that I got to meet the celebrated Substance McGravitas in person. I'd met fellow Noo Yawkehs actor and Ned previously, but meeting a guy from a mysterious northern land who flew all the way across the continent was pretty mind-blowing.

Let me mention that, if any of you plan on visiting the New York metro area, don't hesitate to drop me a line (MEMO TO MYSELF: do the dumb things I've got to do- touch the puppet head post your e-mail on the blog)- I'd love to meet you for a spleen sandwich, a beer in a baby biergarten or a foot fetish party. Until then, I have to be content having you drop by my place, my place in cyberspace. I'll probably do a couple of more additions to the blogroll soon.

Thanks, everybody, it's been another fun year of blogging, and it wouldn't have been possible without you. I love hearing from you, I love reading your stuff, and I love the genuine feeling of community I get from you. I look forward to our next year together.

Objectivist Morrissey Takes No Requests!

Luckily, I do. Blogroll member Truculent and Unreliable (she doesn't cop to being devious, but if she tells you that whitewashing her fence* is a heap of fun, be skeptical!) requested that I tackle Ask:


Kindness is vice, and kindness can stop you
From doing all the things in life you'd like to.

Kindness is vice, and kindness can stop you
From doing all the things in life you'd like to.

So if you're mooching, I'll say "Goodbye"
So if you're mooching, I'll say "Goodbye."
If you task me, I'll say, "Go, sod off and die!"

Sharing's a vice, and sharing will stop you
From grabbing all things that this world owes you.

So if you're mooching, I'll say "Goodbye"
So if you're mooching, I'll say "Goodbye."
If you task me, I'll say, "Go, sod off and die!"

Spending warm summer days indoors,
Writing godawful prose, to an angsty teenage misanthrope.

Task me, task me, task me!
Task me, task me, task me!

Here in this gulch...
It is our scorn, our scorn, our scorn, our scorn, our scorn, our scorn
Our scorn that will bring use together.

Reason is a virtue, so is greed.
Reason is a virtue, so is greed.

You task me, task me, task me!
Task me, task me, task me!

Here in this gulch...
It is our scorn, our scorn, our scorn, our scorn, our scorn, our scorn
Our scorn that will bring us together.

Here in this gulch,
It is our scorn,
It is our scorn
That will bring us together.

Task me! Task me! Task me!
Task me! Task me! Task me!
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la


Of course, this is a spoof of the single Ask, which was featured on the essential compilation Louder Than Bombs. The original single featured backing vocals by the late, lamented Kirsty MacColl. The song is a pure pop confection, it's uncharacteristic (for the Pope of Mope) chipperness tempered by the very real fear of Mutually Assured Destruction ("If it's not love, then it's The Bomb that will bring us together."). So, for your three minutes of Rand-free pop bliss, here's Ask:





As always, this is cross-posted at the new place.


*Heh, "whitewashing the fence"...

UPDATE: My great and good friends J-Co and Anak would disown me if I posted a song with the phrase "task me" without putting up this clip from Wrath of Khan:

You Wish It, I Dish It... the Objectivist Morrissey Madness Continues

In my last post, I noted that JScottG requested that I do Moocher in a Tutu. It would be safe to assume that he would have expected a play on the song Vicar in a Tutu (not to be confused with tuber in a vicar), but that's not how my muse rolls, baby! Here's my hastily written, compliant yet contrarian take on Moocher in a Tutu:


Moocher in a tutu, he is,
He is, a parasite.
Moocher in a tutu, he is,
He is, a parasite.

There are times when I want to murder him,
But the laws of the weak won't let me do him in.

Moocher in a tutu, he is,
He is, a parasite.
Moocher in a tutu, he is,
He is, a parasite.

Do you really think I'll go Galt?
Do you really think I'll go Galt?

Moocher in a tutu, he is,
He is, a parasite.
Guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-gonna go Galt!

There were times that I could have murdered him,
But was stopped by the rules of the weak and the dim.
Would you please let me beat him?

Do you really think I'll go Galt?
Do you really think I'll go Galt
Let my whisper my last goodbyes,
"Go suck it, parasite!"


Of course, this is a parody of Girlfriend in a Coma, which I consider a bit of a lesser effort by The Smiths (it sorely lacks that pure pop jangle of Johnny Marr's guitar). Here's a video for the song, accompanied by images of one of my all-time favorite actresses, the incomparable Dejah Thoris Louise Brooks:






In a previous post, I embedded a video for Mojo Nixon's cover of Girlfriend in a Coma, which I actually prefer to the original. Now, if only, I say, if only Foghorn Leghorn had covered the Smiths, it would have been perfect.

Cross-posted at the new joint.

Commenting When the Posts Come Thick and Fast

I'll be checking out the comments from the blog "dashboard", so I can respond to comments on any of today's posts. Please, if you think any one of the posts stands out (I think that "Objectivist Morrissey" may be my favorite in this series), comment on the one you prefer. I'll get back to you, bubbeleh, no need to respond to the current post.

Five Years of Bastardy

Five years ago, I started this blog with a somewhat unauspicious post, figuring that the hardest part of blogging was starting the whole endeavor. Ultimately, the inspiration for this blog was the Sadly, No! community, both headliners and commentariat. The immediate inspiration for the blog came from Thunder, zrm, Substance McGravitas, M. Bouffant and the antipodean genii at "Riddled"- I needed a Blogger profile to post comments at their blogs, and their blogs were so entertaining that I just had to join in on the fun.

Regarding the 'nym... I've always considered it a tongue-in-cheek jab at "machismo", which I consider a "toxic cult of failed masculinity". That being said, the "Big Bad Bald Bastard" is a character that mild-mannered Mr _________ of the City of Y______ can readily slip into when it is to his advantage- I admit that I can be somewhat fierce on those rare occasions on which fierceness is called for. I chalk a lot of the "Bastard" character's traits, and my traits which I exaggerate when I have to be the Bastard, to the tutelage of this departed gentleman. Regarding the "Bad", I've always meant that in the non-pejorative slang sense... I am a generally law-abiding, responsible individual. For the record, my parents were married when my four siblings and I were born, so the "Bastard" is a self-deprecating bit of slang. Also, I'm a sucker for alliteration, being a fan of Old Norse Poetry.

Early on, most of my posts were short, pithy bits of snark, written to amuse me on the cold nights after the jobsite had closed to the public for the winter months. I had a lot of quiet solitude on the job to crank out short posts that were mainly personal observations of little consequence.

Soon after starting the blog, I put up my first short "political" piece, but I really didn't realize the potential of blogging until I put up my first (woefully skimpy- I've since taken to bringing a memo pad to lectures) recap of a Secret Science Club lecture. The lecture recaps quickly became a regular feature of my blog and the recaps actually became kinda good sometime in 2010. Besides the SSC recaps, I also had the privilege of writing up a recap of a lecture by Ned.

Speaking of Ned, I had the pleasure of meeting him in person back in ought-nine and we get together every so often, but not often enough. I have also had the honor of hanging out with Substance McGravitas, Actor212, Major Kong (who I took to my workplace on one occasion), and Thunder (who let me hang out on his famous deck).

In 2011, I finally realized that the second biggest reason for the internet is posting cat pictures, so I got smart and started regularly featuring my co-workers Fred and Ginger, who I met shortly before starting this blog. I also posted about our dear, departed Moses, but I didn't post more about him because he had a higher profile than Fred and Ginger, and I'm leery about revealing too much about the job.

Perhaps my single most unusual blogging achievement was my 24 Posts in 24 Hours stint, which took place on Sunday, June 19, 2011, when I was working a split double shift (midnight to 8AM, 4PM to midnight). This day also saw the birth of Objectivist Morrissey, who desparately needs a revival. Thunder, being a trouper, commented on each and every one of those posts. Maybe my single greatest blogging achievement was my recap of the post-Sandy Secret Science Club lecture- that lecture had scientific, political, and social pertinence. Another big achievement, in 2012, was being invited to join the snarky geniuses at Rumproast (I'm overdue for a post there). Also in 2012, I began to get some serious linky love from all-around great and good guy Tengrain, who recently put up a post similar to this one.

If I were asked about any regrets I might have had in the course of my blogging career, I'd have to say that my only big regret is not starting this blog in time to cover the entire run of Secret Science Club lectures. One minor regret is neglecting to label any of my posts, but that's a minor thing.

Over the course of my five years of blogging, my blogroll has expanded to seventy-seven blogs owned by diverse people from all over the planet. I am very proud of everyone in the "bloggerhood" and I love you all. Thanks for all of the support you've given me over my five years of bastardy. Writing this blog has always been a great pleasure, in large part because of you. I am looking forward to the next five years with you. Thank you for everything!

Shake Spear

Working the graveyard shift, I figured I'd do some research for an involved post about botany, a super-geeky plant post which has some bearing on current events. My ambition was pretty much shattered in the four o'clock hour when I saw a Sysco truck pull into the parking lot, which necessitated a sprint across the property (for the record, I typically run a tab... I figured long ago that I'm the type of person who'd rather stand and fight than run). The food vendor who is feeding the people renting our property came in a lot earlier than is typical. There go my dreams of a quiet dawn, spent chasing down links about plant biology. I will get a free breakfast out of the deal, though...

Now that my long, ambitious post has been put on hold for the time being, I figured I'd put up a "housekeeping" post. A quick glance at my blogroll will reveal that there have been several additions in the past couple of months. The two latest additions to the blogroll are both Sadlynaughts who use tumblr, which is what all the cool kids are using these days. Without further ado, let me present the blog of Shakezula, who won my admiration with her trenchant comments, and won my love with her contribution to the oeuvre of Objectivist Morrissey:


The boy with the thorn in his side,
I hope his health care is denied


The second addition to the blogroll is talented artist and hat-wearing dandy Spearhafoc, whose renditions of the alien menageries of late 19th century and early to mid 20th century science fiction authors rival those of Wayne Barlowe. His tumblr reminds me of the awesome yog-blogsoth art blog. Anybody who loves to draw monsters and aliens is alright in my book.

I love it when the "neighborhood" grows- my blogroll members have been instrumental in my continuing blogging efforts, and I am more than happy to add to the mix of personalities.