Friday, November 4, 2016

Jack Chick's Corpse Isn't Even Cold

Last week, outsider artist, unintentional comedian, and fundamentalist bigot Jack Chick croaked to the dismay of the left. Chick was one of the main architects of the Satanic Panic of the late 1970s and 1980s, a bullshit crusade against the eccentric, the unorthodox... gamers, metalheads, LGBTQ, free-thinkers, pagans, New Agers, pretty much everybody who wasn't a Bible-beater. This week, via the estimable Roy, we have a new Satanic Panic, involving a mysterious Balkan art-vampiress (hat tip to Smut). From the fevered dreams of Alex Jones:


“SPIRIT COOKING”: CLINTON CAMPAIGN CHAIRMAN INVITED TO BIZARRE SATANIC PERFORMANCE
Menstrual blood, semen and breast milk: Most bizarre Wikileaks revelation yet..



Now, that's one hell of a risotto recipe!

Of course, this whole thing is unmitigated bullshit, one last desperate gambit to convince Evangelical voters to vote for a secular libertine. Oddly enough, even the WaPo website has been inundated by Satanic-panic believing whackaloons (the greatest trick the authoritarians ever pulled was convincing the world that the Devil exists), a wholesale invasion of InfoWars Alex Jonestown lemmings giving us mundane folk a view into the Conspiracy Theory abyss... Stare into the madness, the Alex is present.

8 comments:

mikey said...

For years these idiots have been shrieking at us that Obama is the anti-christ or something.

You'd think they'd have to admit that, that being the case and all, Hillary is a gigantic upgrade...

Syrbal Moore said...

If I was the sort to believe in an Anti-Christ, I'd say Trump has the role down.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

For years these idiots have been shrieking at us that Obama is the anti-christ or something.

The truly scary thing is that these morons have an inordinate amount of power in this country.

If I was the sort to believe in an Anti-Christ, I'd say Trump has the role down.

Blessed are the dealmakers, for they shalt stiff their contractors and grab pussy.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Pocalypse is coming, you know it.
~

Vixen Strangely said...

The Satanic panic folks have always had a problem with Hillary Clinton because feminism is lesbianism is witchcraft--the Clinton Body Count video was a big televangelist joint, and the pinhead prophets peddling Apocalypse-chow to the bunker-dwellers love an opportunity to have a Big Bad to play off of. (Although--would this not make Clinton really secretly desirable to the Holy Humbuggers? I mean really. Anti-Hillary swag and fear-mongering opportunities galore! Let no crisis go to waste!)

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Pocalypse is coming, you know it.

Cool, that means I can blow all of my cash on hookers and blow.

(Although--would this not make Clinton really secretly desirable to the Holy Humbuggers? I mean really. Anti-Hillary swag and fear-mongering opportunities galore! Let no crisis go to waste!)

That's the weird part, they always do better when they have enemies to scare the rubes with.

Smut Clyde said...

I am down with pho-calypse.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

They shall drown in a lake of star-anise scented broth!!!