Thursday, March 1, 2012

I'd Like to Take This Opportunity to Thank the Academy

And by "The Academy" I mean Laura, the Canadian Domestic Goddess who nominated me for an award:





Now I have to post seven random things about myself...

I like that award picture. I actually love roses, they're delicious. That being said, I prefer squash blossoms- stuffed with mozzarella, dipped in batter, and fried in olive oil and butter.

I’ve only gotten one speeding ticket in my life, and I beat it. I think I was doing forty in a thirty zone, but the road had multiple speed limits, and I was coasting down to the speed limit after leaving a fifty-five MPH zone. I showed up in court (it was an hour drive north), but the issuing officer did not. The judge dismissed the ticket. I made it a point not to thank him, because he wasn’t doing me a favor, he was upholding the law. I merely said, “Goodnight, your honor” after he dismissed my case.

I drink a lot of coffee, and I love coffee paraphernalia. Besides a drip-style coffee maker, I have a French press and a stovetop espresso pot. I have a big coffee urn in storage, in case I have to brew coffee for twenty or so people. While I can drink black coffee with no problem, I usually drink hot coffee with a little milk, no sugar. I really don’t like hot, sweet coffee. I drink iced coffee a little on the light side and kinda sweet- if I’m really ambitious, I drink iced coffee with sweetened condensed milk (a habit I picked up while dining in a Vietnamese restaurant). I drink almost as much yerba mate as coffee. I don’t drink much tea, and typically prefer it iced, with a little lemon and sugar.

I have a couple of verbal tics. Whenever anyone says "Take it easy" my response is always "Take it nonetheless". This confused the hell out of one of my co-workers. For months, he could never quite remember what my response was. There are a couple of friends that I never greet with a simple "hello"- whenever we see each other, we strike a "heavy metal" pose and bellow a long, drawn-out "YEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!" My friend J-Co picked it up from a co-worker who was in a metal band called Killerwatts. My brother Sweetums also does it, and it was a triumph when we got his demure, soft-spoken wife to humor a bunch of us with a hearty "YEEEEAAAHHHH!"

A few years back, a bunch of us traveled from New York to Washington D.C. for a friend’s wedding. It was a summer day, so we all wore shorts and t-shirts in the car, and then changed into our suits in a men’s room at the venue. One of my friends joked, "Heh, you clean up good." I responded, "No, I just dirty down real bad."

Speaking of "dirtying down", I’m pretty outdoorsy, so I often come home covered in mud, blood, bugs, scratches and what-not (no Santorum jokes! Yes, it's that link!). If I were to design a dream house, it would have an outdoor shower stall, so I could avoid tracking gack into the house.

While I enjoy doing these kind of posts, I always feel funny about sending out the prompts. Part of it is that I’m sure I’d send it to people who have already received it, what with all of our shared blogrolls. So, rather than sending the award out to other bloggers, I'm going to invite people to post random speculations about me in the comments.

21 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I suspect you're bald.

Laura said...

I'd like to have an outdoor shower too. Tres sex-eh non? :P
I'm going to speculate that you and your buds look like huge idiots when you strike your metal poses.. but that's OK. Who cares? Right?

Thanks for participating! I loved your 7 facts about you. :)

Laura said...

P.S. I make those squash blossoms as well. Sooooooooo good!

wiley said...

"Take it nonetheless". That's---

wiley said...

thats---

wiley said...

huh.

Substance McGravitas said...

I have a couple of verbal tics.

I had a friend with a deliberate verbal tic that was a creative spur: random word after every burp. This of course made burping fun.

BURP. Potawatomi.
BURP. Buick.
BURP. Refrigerator.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I suspect you're bald.

Clever deduction!

I'm going to speculate that you and your buds look like huge idiots when you strike your metal poses.. but that's OK.

OK? That the point!

P.S. I make those squash blossoms as well. Sooooooooo good!

Yeah, it's the best thing about growing zucchini.

"Take it nonetheless". That's---

Wiley, are you my co-worker, posing as someone else?

This of course made burping fun.

It doesn't take much!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Clever deduction!

not much gets past me.

Smut Clyde said...

This of course made burping fun.

I am now in full Fleetwood Mac mode and humming "You Make Burping Fun" to myself, to the bewilderment of the cats.

M. Bouffant said...

I believe the proper response is: "Easy? I'll take it any way I can get it!" Followed by a sadly knowing laugh.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I hate to agree with him, but M Bouffant Johnson is right.

Laura said...

P.S. I prefer to be called "Laura, the sexy Canadian goddess."
Merci buckets. :)

vacuumslayer said...

So, in other words, yer charming and awesome. Duh, we already KNEW that.

Frivolous said...

Don't really need a shower stall per se. Just have a hose with an outdoor faucet.

I'd like to say I've always found Monsieur Bastard very ruggedly handsome. :)

What should I speculate? Cries at weddings, perhaps? Ah, I know.

We all know BBBB is a geek, so I'm betting he's the nit-picky type who is extra-cautious about damage to his books and comics. He might even keep his comics in plastic containers, with duplicates for the more valuable ones, so he can read one and keep the other.

vacuumslayer said...

P.S. I prefer to be called "Laura, the sexy Canadian goddess."


Me too. Except I'm not Canadian, my name is not Laura and the sexiness is up for debate. Other than that, YES, PLEASE.

Anonymous said...

I think you are a deeply kind man.

Smut Clyde said...

random speculations about me in the comments

When he was younger, BBBB had a pet axolotl. Called 'Norbert'.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

not much gets past me.

Given enough time, you can see through a brick wall.

I am now in full Fleetwood Mac mode and humming "You Make Burping Fun" to myself, to the bewilderment of the cats.

Are you suggestively dangling a bolas from your belt?

I believe the proper response is: "Easy? I'll take it any way I can get it!" Followed by a sadly knowing laugh.

I hate to agree with him, but M Bouffant Johnson is right.

I still have a shred of optimism left!

I'd like to say I've always found Monsieur Bastard very ruggedly handsome. :)

Aw, shucks, you are too kind! It's my enticingly large forehead, isn't it?

We all know BBBB is a geek, so I'm betting he's the nit-picky type who is extra-cautious about damage to his books and comics. He might even keep his comics in plastic containers, with duplicates for the more valuable ones, so he can read one and keep the other.

I'm on the record for not being a comic book fan, with one notable exception. I do take pretty good care of my books- no cracked spines, but I think they should be used and enjoyed. You won't find any "mint condition" things in Casa Bastarde, everything is well used.

P.S. I prefer to be called "Laura, the sexy Canadian goddess."

Me too. Except I'm not Canadian, my name is not Laura and the sexiness is up for debate. Other than that, YES, PLEASE.


Yeah, we've got some sexy goddesses here on the blogroll, Canadian and otherwise.

I think you are a deeply kind man.

Now, that's some speculation I can live with! Thank you!

When he was younger, BBBB had a pet axolotl. Called 'Norbert'.

Actually, I had three pet axolotls, Norbert, Neo, and Nate. When the weather got warm in the spring, I'd dig a large pool for them in the backyard, with a milpa island in the middle. One tragic day, a freak twister sucked them out of the pond. They finally came to earth in Waterbury, Connecticut, in a storm three days later. I read about their fall to earth in the "Fortean Gazette" a year later.

Smut Clyde said...

More speculation: B^4 owns a first edition of the Roadkill Cookbook.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Someday B^4 can retire from his all-nighters and found the Road Kill Bar and Grill.
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