One of the latest viral sensations coming from the right-wing fever swamps is Tucker Carlson's hilariously homoerotic screed about the crisis among men. The whole thing is cuckoo-for-Cocoa-Puffs, but Media Matters for America analyst Nikki McCann-Ramirez distilled it down to its Chuck Tingle-esque essence:
I promise you are not prepared for Tucker's latest montage pic.twitter.com/8tdvYTW2cn
— nikki mccann ramírez (@NikkiMcR) April 16, 2022
Besides the homoeroticism of the clip, I am struck by the performative bullshit of it all, particularly the slipshod manner in which these guys are performing their manly feats. The guy who's shooting shirtless will probably get burned by hot, ejected casings, the guy grilling is using flames which are way too high, the wrestler goes for a lackluster 'shoot for the leg' manuever... my favorite is the guy with the axe, who is 'choked up' on the handle too much, and keeps his hands together, which prevents him from building the momentum for proper chopping. These are actors, not men performing tasks in a competent fashion.
As someone who is 12/10 on the manliness scale, i have to say that this whole farrago of macho posturing was extremely funny. And then there's the real nutty stuff, such as the ball-baking content:
In his new special on how to raise testosterone levels in men, Tucker Carlson’s guest suggests “testicle tanning” using infrared light as a “bromeopathic” therapy. pic.twitter.com/PirerBMRyr
— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@RonFilipkowski) April 17, 2022
Uh, there's a reason why the testicles are stored in a little bag dangling outside the body, but who am I to tell MAGA males not to nuke their sperm counts? That being said, it's entirely appropriate that the Swanson's TV dinner heir is telling his rubes to stick their family jewels into an Easy-Bake Oven.
As soon as I saw this trailer, I smelled a grift, and I suspect that Tucker Carlson will launch a line of 'male vitality supplements' like those that Alex Jones has been hawking for years. Carlson has got to know that Jones is in financial trouble, and is probably moving in on this particular scam, though Jones is too stupid to see it:
There's no honor among scam artists.Alex Jones brags that Tucker Carlson's "End of Men" special was filmed in part on his land near Austin, Texas. Jones claims that his gun is featured in the trailer released by Carlson and Fox (h/t @noah_dowe) https://t.co/fzkNFbfxcU pic.twitter.com/BIf708GiQj
— nikki mccann ramírez (@NikkiMcR) April 18, 2022
7 comments:
To make light of it I found the Village People YMCA version much more appropriate than the published 2001 Space Odessey slash Lucy score ~ but seriously, this whole bare-chested thing is starting to get creepy.
I can tell you from born in a log town spent fifteen years cutting trees down and hooking them out with helicopters nobody goes out in the woods and cuts down trees bare-chested. In fact we left very little of our skin exposed to bugs, branches and briars. Only a greenhorn works in a teeshirt, and they didn’t usually last very long. Same with working out on a ranch, my first job in life, where baths were few and far between.
One of the bad habits I was able to finally break with the advent of the Trump-Flu was/is lifting weights. Got a whole new regimen going I’m real happy with, thank you, but not applicable to the matter at hand. I’m reminded of gym-rats looking at themselves in the mirror. You know the kind: the smelly, loud, grunting, farting, pumping more iron than they should, slamming them down on the floor ~ oh, look at me … I am. They’re fake, a facade, pumped up without the underlying stamina ~ while they’re making all that noise/stink pumpin’ two hundred pounds a couple times, I’m pumpin’ a hundred pounds fifteen or twenty, a hundred fifty (my weight) ten or twelve. And I have had weight-lifters, body-builders, out in the woods … and they didn’t last very long.
I'm pretty sure Tanned Testicles qualifies as cow (or sheep) camp oysters.
Definitely a Darwin Award ...
I think the fact that he keeps his hands together during his swing is what marks him as incompetent, but yeah, shirtless in the woods is not smart.
Regarding weights, I use them, but moderate weights with high reps. For heavy lifting, there are opponents.
Nope, i wasn't prepared for that, especially coming from the likes of Tucker. He is such a sneering weenie. Pardon my language. He should really be ashamed of himself.
I'm a female of the ski mountaineering and rock climbing persuasion, and I'm more macho than Tuckums, all 5'3" of me. This crap is laughable and pathetic; what sad uncles this is designed to appeal to. I'm sure you're right that he's planning on horning in on the Jones supplement action.
Oh, yeah, lol, nobody cuts down trees with an axe. Chainsaws ...
Vlad probably floated the nut-baking idea to Tucker, just to see if he'd bite.
Nope, i wasn't prepared for that, especially coming from the likes of Tucker. He is such a sneering weenie. Pardon my language. He should really be ashamed of himself
It really is something.
I'm a female of the ski mountaineering and rock climbing persuasion, and I'm more macho than Tuckums, all 5'3" of me. This crap is laughable and pathetic; what sad uncles this is designed to appeal to. I'm sure you're right that he's planning on horning in on the Jones supplement action.
All I could think about, watching that whole thing is that these guys may be muscular, but they don't know how to effectively use their muscles, which to me is an integral part of 'strength'.
Oh, yeah, lol, nobody cuts down trees with an axe. Chainsaws
Even if someone were to use an axe, a double-bitted axe gripped in that fashion is not the way to go.
Vlad probably floated the nut-baking idea to Tucker, just to see if he'd bite.
He probably has a nut-oven in his lair in the Urals.
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