Sunday, June 3, 2012

Travel to Weird Places on the Internet

I want to preface this by stating most emphatically that this post is not about New Clopping Republic, which is not to be confused with the even less reputable New Republic. I've been to some weird places on the internet while working the graveyard shift this morning. For instance, I had never heard of the Thousand Year Elven Holocaust until this morning. For a brief overview of this suppressed history, there's a video narrated by an extra from The Matrix:





Note: The video is better when this is played simultaneously as an audio track. I also apologize that the narrator wasn't a hot elf chick.

Getting back on topic, the Thousand Year Elven Holocaust was a new one to me. I had no idea that The Broken Sword was a non-fiction book about a skirmish in this conflict. Even though the nassty elfses are no longer with us, any search on the internet will reveal that the trolls are doing just fine.

Even though the elf-kings of yore are no longer with us, there were some depictions which survived the Dark Ages. Here is an artist's depiction of Dumaspric, last elf-king of Brentwood, basking in the illuminating rays of right-wing wisdom (warning- if you've eaten lunch within the last two decades, DON'T CLICK ON THAT LINK!!!).

Of course, while the video addresses the Danubian Druids, other authorities tend to focus on Albion's Druids, as this video explains:





POSTSCRIPT: I'd be remiss if I didn't present an alternate viewpoint- there are those who insist that the Elven Holocaust did not, in fact, take place, and that elves are not only around, but are super sexy (hat tip to Monsieur Bouffant, who just may be an elf.

12 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

They got Elvis, too.
~

paleotectonics said...

Here is an artist's depiction of Dumaspric, last elf-king of Brentwood, basking in the illuminating rays of right-wing wisdom

I also like TBogg's "Brentwood Speedbump".

zencomix said...

Clemma at Stonehenge.

M. Bouffant said...

Half-dwarf, half-elf, & all troll!

UPDATE: What the elf-sexer's up to.

Smut Clyde said...

Elf-sex lady also likes My Little Ponies.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Travel to Weird Places on the Internet

I think most of us could use that as a title on our neighborhood blogrolls.

Heck, any link to Riddled could be titled that.

Smut Clyde said...

I went to the Elven Holocaust link and found them citing Laurence Gardner. Wait, this Laurence Gardner, the Lizardoid skin-walker?

any link to Riddled could be titled that.
So NOT TRUE. All Riddled discussions are models of rationality. If we come across sometimes as elliptical and oblique, it is on account of leaving out every second word to avoid the 2007 Coherent Sentences Tax.

Brando said...

Just make sure you have an elf lover wear a mithril condom. They can have a lot of lovers over 3,000 years.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

They got Elvis, too.

Elvis, abducted by Elvses... how appropriate.

I also like TBogg's "Brentwood Speedbump".

That is a good one.

Clemma at Stonehenge.

I was hoping for a collaboration between Clannad and Lemmy.

Half-dwarf, half-elf, & all troll!

Kinky!

UPDATE: What the elf-sexer's up to.

Good to know she's thriving!

Elf-sex lady also likes My Little Ponies.

Ruh-roh... gotta expect that there's some "Sparkly Unicorn Hentai" on her hard drive.

I think most of us could use that as a title on our neighborhood blogrolls.

Heck, any link to Riddled could be titled that.


Be nice to our antipodean friends, mister!

I went to the Elven Holocaust link and found them citing Laurence Gardner. Wait, this Laurence Gardner, the Lizardoid skin-walker?

Far out... when you go "WOO!", you gotta go BIG.

Just make sure you have an elf lover wear a mithril condom. They can have a lot of lovers over 3,000 years.

Sheesh, they can spread STD's that have died out in the human population millennia ago.

vacuumslayer said...

"Even the LIBERAL New Clopping Republic says austerity is the only option!"

Substance McGravitas said...

DON'T CLICK ON THAT LINK!!!

I have no idea why you want to inflict that - oh it's me.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

"Even the LIBERAL New Clopping Republic says austerity is the only option!"

Wouldn't that be Horsterity? Kudos for LIBERAL New Clopping Republic.

I have no idea why you want to inflict that - oh it's me.

Not everyone is inured to Goatse like yourself, old chum!