Snarky Sister's Birthday

As is my usual tradition, I post birthday greetings to my sister on June 1st. While I can be pretty snarky, my sister makes me look like a rank amateur in comparison. I've thrown around some weapons-grade snark at times, but she's can deploy snarktomic bombs which produce background levels of snark that have half-lives of decades. Hell, she snarkily dubbed my baby brother "Gomez" back in the 80's, and the nickname persists to this day. She's the one who nicknamed my older brother "Sweetums" in a fit of sarcastic exasperation ("Oh, he would never do anything wrong, because he's perfect! Sweetums would never do anything out of sorts"). The "Sweetums" thing backfired, because, to put it bluntly, my older brother really is perfect. We still call him Sweetums, but there isn't a hint of irony or snark when we use the 'nym. My brother Vincenzo and I escaped my sister's nickname mill, probably because we "bookend" my sister in birth order, so it was harder for her to come up with something that stuck. For the record, my sister and I are "Irish twins" (yeah, I'm aware that it originated as a derogatory term, but any sting it had has long been blunted), and we would be impossible to be around for the period of time during which our age overlapped. The whole family pretty much resigned itself to a couple of weeks of sarcasm and general snippy behavior before we'd snap out of it. Ah, good times...

Anyway, happy birthday, Sis!