In my previous post, I mentioned being inspired to write a bit of doggerel by a silly Muse. In these times, we need a roster of new muses to reflect modern realities- how about:
Eroto, Muse of Porn
Copypastope, Muse of Internet Trolling
Tagawallo, Muse of Graffitti
Lookatme, Muse of Reality Television
Terpsitude, Muse of Baseness
Autotunia, Muse of Cheesy Overproduction
Flacke, Muse of Public Relations
Cantherme, Muse of Dog-Whistles
Shystre, Muse of Loopholes
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Gadgetshowia, muse of electronics.
Blatherastus, muse of blogging.
Grammaranius, muse of zombies.
Speedra, muse of Kiwis.
Toocutia, muse of anime.
Kirkspockia, muse of fan/slash fic.
Dischordia, muse of thrash metal.
is there room for another muse of Internet Trolling? Named Troofus?
Smut Clyde said,
February 9, 2008 at 5:33 (kill)
I summon Terpsibore, the muse of humourless pedantry…
Smut Clyde said,
April 26, 2008 at 6:52
Eclampsia, the muse of poetically-named medical conditions.
Damn, you seem to be ahead of my by quite a bit, Smut.
I blame Longitude.
Didnaduit, Muse of Excuses
Uh, ahead of me...
Clumsidigits, Muse of Typos
I summon Terpsibore, the muse of humourless pedantry…
Herpsibore, the muse of humorless dildory....
Fecktheyou, muse of anti-British spelling conventions.
Fallingdownagainses, muse of New York engineers....
Kristolalia, Muse of stuid mendacity.
Kristolalia
sounds more like a mental disorder, to me.
Summerfestorumpus, muse of drinking beer and listening to classic rock on the shores of Lake Michigan:
sounds more like a mental disorder, to me
and so it is!
McGravitastope, Muse of Animated GIFs and Janus Node Recipes.
and so it is!
I will race you to use that one on the next Sadly, No! Kristol post.
Itsonsnopes- muse of disproving fanciful internet thoeries
Footnote to Chapter 23:
Enchilada the Muse of Constellation Names has had a more varied career than most of the Muses since her job was “declared redundant” once all of the Northern Hemisphere sky had been carved into discrete parcels of stars. They offered her retraining, or a kind of face-saving sideways ‘promotion’ to a new post of “Creativity Compliance Officer”, but the office was basically a broom cupboard with a chair in it so she left. That was before explorers found their way South of the Equator. Suddenly the skies were vast and different. The call went out for Enchilada to come back out of retirement (she had taken all the drawings for conceptual constellations like ‘Capricornucopia’ with her). The employment negotiations dragged on, for she was understandably embittered by the shabby way she had been treated, and her demands included a substantial pay increase and a new title of “Executive Director of Stellar Nomenclature”, plus a corner office and a desk no smaller than 3 square metres. By the time they had accepted her conditions, it was too late for large expanses of the Southern sky, which is why we are now stuck with dubious constellation names like ‘The Sextant’, ‘The Table’, and ‘The Triangle’.§
§ This footnote, like all footnotes, was written under the aegis of Anabæsis Muse of Digressions.
Againtheches, muse of repeating Monty Python jokes.
new debasements for a bemused age.
Excuseus, muse of gotta-make-it-to-the-bathroom-quick dancing.
Zardoztheus, the Muse of filling a blog post with comments.
~
Phorlendoun, muse of crappy architects.
Interconnecta, the muse of hyperlinks.
Nihilato, muse of "I got nothing."
Drunkhorny, Muse of 3 AM booty calls
Turdsichore, Muse of POOP! jokes.
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