Monday, June 21, 2010

New Muses for a Debased Age

In my previous post, I mentioned being inspired to write a bit of doggerel by a silly Muse. In these times, we need a roster of new muses to reflect modern realities- how about:

Eroto, Muse of Porn

Copypastope, Muse of Internet Trolling

Tagawallo, Muse of Graffitti

Lookatme, Muse of Reality Television

Terpsitude, Muse of Baseness

Autotunia, Muse of Cheesy Overproduction

Flacke, Muse of Public Relations

Cantherme, Muse of Dog-Whistles

Shystre, Muse of Loopholes

30 comments:

Substance McGravitas said...

Gadgetshowia, muse of electronics.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Blatherastus, muse of blogging.

Grammaranius, muse of zombies.

Speedra, muse of Kiwis.

Substance McGravitas said...

Toocutia, muse of anime.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Kirkspockia, muse of fan/slash fic.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Dischordia, muse of thrash metal.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

is there room for another muse of Internet Trolling? Named Troofus?

Smut Clyde said...

Smut Clyde said,
February 9, 2008 at 5:33 (kill)

I summon Terpsibore, the muse of humourless pedantry…

Smut Clyde said...

Smut Clyde said,
April 26, 2008 at 6:52
Eclampsia, the muse of poetically-named medical conditions.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Damn, you seem to be ahead of my by quite a bit, Smut.

I blame Longitude.

Didnaduit, Muse of Excuses

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Uh, ahead of me...

Clumsidigits, Muse of Typos

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I summon Terpsibore, the muse of humourless pedantry…

Herpsibore, the muse of humorless dildory....

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Fecktheyou, muse of anti-British spelling conventions.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Fallingdownagainses, muse of New York engineers....

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Kristolalia, Muse of stuid mendacity.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Kristolalia

sounds more like a mental disorder, to me.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Summerfestorumpus, muse of drinking beer and listening to classic rock on the shores of Lake Michigan:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

sounds more like a mental disorder, to me

and so it is!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

McGravitastope, Muse of Animated GIFs and Janus Node Recipes.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

and so it is!

I will race you to use that one on the next Sadly, No! Kristol post.

Another Kiwi said...

Itsonsnopes- muse of disproving fanciful internet thoeries

Smut Clyde said...

Footnote to Chapter 23:

Enchilada the Muse of Constellation Names has had a more varied career than most of the Muses since her job was “declared redundant” once all of the Northern Hemisphere sky had been carved into discrete parcels of stars. They offered her retraining, or a kind of face-saving sideways ‘promotion’ to a new post of “Creativity Compliance Officer”, but the office was basically a broom cupboard with a chair in it so she left. That was before explorers found their way South of the Equator. Suddenly the skies were vast and different. The call went out for Enchilada to come back out of retirement (she had taken all the drawings for conceptual constellations like ‘Capricornucopia’ with her). The employment negotiations dragged on, for she was understandably embittered by the shabby way she had been treated, and her demands included a substantial pay increase and a new title of “Executive Director of Stellar Nomenclature”, plus a corner office and a desk no smaller than 3 square metres. By the time they had accepted her conditions, it was too late for large expanses of the Southern sky, which is why we are now stuck with dubious constellation names like ‘The Sextant’, ‘The Table’, and ‘The Triangle’.§

§ This footnote, like all footnotes, was written under the aegis of Anabæsis Muse of Digressions.

Substance McGravitas said...

Againtheches, muse of repeating Monty Python jokes.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

new debasements for a bemused age.

Substance McGravitas said...

Excuseus, muse of gotta-make-it-to-the-bathroom-quick dancing.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Zardoztheus, the Muse of filling a blog post with comments.
~

Smut Clyde said...

Phorlendoun, muse of crappy architects.

Johnny Pez said...

Interconnecta, the muse of hyperlinks.

M. Bouffant said...

Nihilato, muse of "I got nothing."

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Drunkhorny, Muse of 3 AM booty calls

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Turdsichore, Muse of POOP! jokes.