Friday, November 24, 2017

Fight, Oh Estrogen

Damnit, earlier this week I had a craving for aburaage pouches stuffed with mochi, not realizing that I was cucking my appetite. How was I to know that soy produces phytoestrogens that the pointy-headed boffins assure us are harmless, but some smoldering volcano of machismo who really likes cartoon frogs says are sapping men of their masculine essence? I mean, just look at this he-man:

Perhaps the best-known crusader against the dangers of phytoestrogen consumption is Mike Soynovich, the author of a book titled Gorilla Mindset to reflect (heh) his inability to pass a mirror recognition test and his small genitalia. Soynovich rails against the emasculating bean, uniting men to resist this peril:

Maintain manliness, men, soy will wreck you. If you don't believe me and a couple of anime-Nazis, just look at this video, which clearly displays the pernicious effects of soy products on the male physique:

Now, what guy would want to be a Soy Boy like that?


mikey said...


What are you saying?

Wingnuts are often as stupid as broken concrete?

Shocked, I am...

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The stupidity doesn't strike me as much as the sexual anxiety does.

Vixen Strangely said...

They were drinking onion juice for awhile, some of those testosterone wranglers, but it might have reacted badly with the cow's milk they were chugging to verify they had the proper European digestive tracts. There's a kind of humor to be had in watching weirdos haze themselves.