Saturday, December 27, 2014

Baby Bottle... or Rip Van Whiskey

Today, I attended a first birthday party for the twins sons of old friends. I find it very hard to shop for such tiny children- I hate shopping in the first place (exceptions, food shopping or shopping in bookstores, preferably used bookstores, the more cluttered the better), and I find it especially tough to shop for something that the kids have yet to grow into and will grow out of in a matter of weeks. I figured I'd write them a check for their college fund, and then, in a stroke of inspiration, I went to the liquor store and bought a bottle of Scotch, which I had the boozeslinger wrap for me. I added a note: OPEN IN 20 YEARS.

I should have thought of this idea long ago!


Vixen Strangely said...

I love this idea--now that you have had it, you need to get in a timemachine, go back forty years, befriend my parents...and my first drunk at 21 experience stops being bad chardonnay and Zima.

Being without kids myself, I am at the same impasse shopping for them. Most of the wee kinder I have to shop for are boys, which leaves me feeling odd when I see absolutely appallingly pretty dresses and have exactly zero babies to dress up. I have outgrown the notion that drums and other loud things are either funny or cute presents for the sprogs of the already-sleep-deprived.

So I usually just tape a card with some cash to a bit of candy. "Happy birthday small person. I understand you may have college expenses one day--here's a lolly and a pittance."

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I used to buy booze for all of the adults on my gift list, now I buy it for EVERYONE!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Good call, B^4.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Good call, B^4.

It's the wisdom of experience, old chum!

Yastreblyansky said...

If you'd done this for one of my kids (now 18 and 22) I would have, um—drunk it up years ago. Still, sometimes a great notion.