Friday, August 19, 2011

What Happens at the Foot Fetish Place...

My Canuckistani drinking buddy made an enigmatic comment at his blog, "After the baby place, the beer and foot fetish place. The bastard will explain all." Yes, the Bastard will explain all, though the names will be left out of the post to protect any parties, innocent or not.

After the now-infamous Baby Beerhall Incident, Monsieur McGravitas and I took the 4 train to Midtown Manhattan. Not having any pressing engagements the next morning, we headed out to a venue where a good Friend of the Bastard runs an open mic night (don't want to give out T.M.I. in one post, so GOOGLE IT!). While the venue for the open mic night is a fairly straightforward restaurant, certain... shall we say... activities take place in a basement space. I'd had an inkling that something was going on, because there was always a steady stream of extraordinarily attractive young ladies passing through the restaurant. As it turns out, "foot fetish parties" are held in the basement Apparently, one pays twenty American dollars for a specific duration, in which one can indulge one's foot fetish with a young lady (STRICTLY NO NUDITY!).

Not having this particular fetish (I'm an unapologetic ass man, apparently the current number one unapologetic ass man in the rankings), I have never had an inclination to descend to the podiatric paraphilia playground, and merely enjoy a quick drink or a meal while listening to the open mic participants, and performing my singular musical act ***FUTURE POST***. I have to note that SMcG also refrained from descending to the depths of the Basement of Kink- there are no jumping grannies in the basement, at least not on Tuesday nights.

The Internet has brought broader exposure to a lot of outré sexual fetishes, the linear Kinsey Scale is completely inadequate for a world of furries, vorarephiliacs, and the like. Rather than a line segment, we need a "sexuality" scale that resembles a spirograph.

21 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

Well, I'm completely BUMMED neither of you are into feet. Mine are exceptionally pretty.

Whale Chowder said...

Hm, let's guess what B^4's "musical act" is!

I'll throw down first with "armpit symphony."

VS, I'll play with your feet if nobody else will. *many possibly creepy additions filtered here*

Smut Clyde said...

Well, I'm completely BUMMED

What you do there, I see it.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Well, I'm completely BUMMED neither of you are into feet. Mine are exceptionally pretty.

Well, of course being GGG comes into play, but it's not something I'd take it upon myself to initiate.

I'll throw down first with "armpit symphony."

I could do that, but my schtick is **FUTURE BLOG POST**

Well, I'm completely BUMMED

What you do there, I see it.


He sees it, baby, shaking its ass.

vacuumslayer said...

Yeah, I'm actually really boring. The only thing foot-related I could really excited about is a massage. MASSAGES ARE AWESOME!!!!

M. Bouffant said...

(don't want to give out T.M.I. in one post, so GOOGLE IT!)

Are you implying there is but one "open mic" event in all of the Big Wormy Apple, or even just Midtown?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Nah, I've mentioned the place, and the M/C before, without mention of the games of footsie going on downstairs. I don't know how legal paid fetish roleplay is, so I didn't want to give the info out explicitly.

Maintain plausible deniability!

Whale Chowder said...

The only thing foot-related I could really excited about is a massage.

Do your feet get "Happy Ending?"

I could do that, but my schtick is **FUTURE BLOG POST**

Got it. Big Bad Bald Kazoo Band, exclusively covering the BeeGees disco era.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Big Bad Bald Kazoo Band, exclusively covering the BeeGees disco era.

Now that belongs on youtube.
~

Substance McGravitas said...

Maybe these girls had astonishing feet. I mean, I'm not a foot guy, but maybe they could convert you with the sexual hotness of their toes.

Another Kiwi said...

Jeepers, if one was to type unapologetic ass man into goggle image search, one might get another view as to the subject.
NTTAWWT

Another Kiwi said...

Hmm, possibly not all that safe for work there^^^

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

"Work", he wondered?
~

Another Kiwi said...

It is a concept I have heard of thunder, and others talk of it so I was being inclusive

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Jeepers, if one was to type unapologetic ass man into goggle image search, one might get another view as to the subject.

That was awesome!

Whale Chowder said...

Oh Emm Gee, I'm in a google search!

Smut Clyde said...

Unapologetic ass man.

Another Kiwi said...

Oh sure, it's OK to publish AK's traffic offence photos.*sigh* the ass was rated at 15kph, how could I know it was doing 18??

Smut Clyde said...

So what's the fine for a first ARUI offense? AFAF.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Oh sure, it's OK to publish AK's traffic offence photos.*sigh* the ass was rated at 15kph, how could I know it was doing 18??

Well, it was your choice to rub "icy hot" liniment on it's tender parts to make it go faster.

So what's the fine for a first ARUI offense? AFAF.

Depends on whether or not the ass is of the age of consent.

Smut Clyde said...

The correct Blake quotation of course "The lineaments of gratified desire", but it is an easy spelling mistake to make and AK is not the first person to have been led astray.