He Can't Have It Both Ways*

So, let me get this straight... Mr. Ben Tripp wants me to poop my pants in fear, even though he made me laugh my ass off? The prosthetic ass that I use to allow me to wear pants does not have a sphincter to loosen with terror.

All ball-busting aside, here's a hearty high five to the multi-talented Mr. Tripp. Congratulations on the publication of your first novel. My copy of Rise Again has just arrived at the local Barnes & Nobel (I figured that I would make a statement by ordering it at a bricks and mortar operation- picking up the book in a public place could help to give it "legs"). Hopefully, the book will provide a sensitive portrayal of zombies, so as not to upset the Shambler-American community.

*Subtitled- I Have No Ass and I Must Poop (of course, this is meant as a parody, so fair use laws should keep the notoriously litigious Harlan Ellison at bay).