Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Apostle to the Incels

The NY Times has been on a downward spiral since the days of the runup to the Second Iraq war, but this may be a new low for the paper- an editorial written by Ross Douthat echoing Robin Hanson's 'redistribution of sex' post. As an aside, I suggest to Douthat, like I suggested to Hanson, that, if incels not getting laid is a problem, they can personally let the incels fuck them. Sic transit glory hole mundi.

Douthat is a proto-manosphere CHUD, as his 'origin story', related in his first book, reveals:

One successful foray ended on the guest bed of a high school friend’s parents, with a girl who resembled a chunkier Reese Witherspoon drunkenly masticating my neck and cheeks. It had taken some time to reach this point–“Do most Harvard guys take so long to get what they want?” she had asked, pushing her tongue into my mouth. I wasn’t sure what to say, but then I wasn’t sure this was what I wanted. My throat was dry from too much vodka, and her breasts, spilling out of pink pajamas, threatened my ability to. I was supposed to be excited, but I was bored and somewhat disgusted with myself, with her, with the whole business… and then whatever residual enthusiasm I felt for the venture dissipated, with shocking speed, as she nibbled at my ear and whispered–“You know, I’m on the pill…”

Let's run this one through the translator...

Okay, so we get weak-chinned Ross, a high school beta, who now has encountered a former Stacy (Reese Witherspoon), who has gone down in Sexual Market Value (chunkier), so she is attempting to lure Ross into the 'Beta Bucks and Alpha Fucks' (Harvard guys) system, but Ross is turned off because she has got to have been riding on the 'cock carousel' (on the pill).

Ross had the incel lingo down pat before there was even a movement.


The New York Crank said...

Somehow, deep down, I suspect that Ross is terrified of sex and that he probably went to parochial school. I wouldn't be surprised if he was told that if he had sex before marriage, it would fall off.

I also suspect that his "residual enthusiasm" wasn't the only thing that dissipated.

Yours crankily,
The New York Crank

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Ross didn’t convert to Catholicism until he was a teen. He was a Pentecostalism before that. He has what is called ‘convert’s zeal’, but he is not culturally Catholic. I’m an apatheist, but I’m more ‘Catholic’ than Ross could ever hope to be.

BroD said...

I am so not interested in Ross' sex life & thoughts.

Emma said...

That's when a normal person would realize they were gay, you know.

I would have sex with a horny, chubby version of Reese Witherspoon. I would especially have sex with a horny, chubby Reese Witherspoon for preference over Ross Douthat.

Or maybe the bro is asexual, who knows. I just don't understand why a lack of sexual interest has to be accompanied by reflexive contempt. It's almost like many men are conditioned to see women as sex objects, and if a woman can't fulfill that purpose for some reason she is dismissed as a human being. Weird!