Saturday, December 4, 2010

My Opening Salvo in the War on Christmas?

A few years back, I probably would've been inclined to drop some spare change in the bucket of a Salvation Army bell-ringer out of knee-jerk generosity, but then I had an epiphany, a Road to Damascus Highway to Hell moment, if you will. The bell ringer was outside the supermarket, and I paused and thought, "Wait, the Salvation Army is a religious organization, and I know absolutely nothing about their tenets." I needed to find out more about the Sally Army. Well, sure enough, the tingling spider sense was correct. Yeah, the Salvation Army is a typical authoritarian Protestant Evangelical group with an anti-gay agenda... the "S" word was the initial tip-off for me. To compound the problem, the Salvation Army also has a clear-cut anti-drunkard bias... this hits home, because drunkards are my people! Yeah, no need to feel even the slightest twinge of Scroogitude as you pass by these bell-ringers for bigotry. Find another, more worthy charity to support. Of course, no blistering indictment of the S.A. would be complete without posting this classic singalong:

As an added bonus, here's an additional song which describes a similar group's (thankfully) failed attempt to abduct a proud worshipper of Dionysus into a lifetime of servitude to a sere, Calvinist divinity:

Gotta dig those Portugese subtitles. I was familiar with "Monkees" iteration of the song from my childhood, but this is the best version I could find on the t00bz, although the Saved finale subverts the original intent of the song.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Oh man. I got up for a little because I couldn't sleep, and now I got this stuck in my head.

Throw a nickel in the drum
And save another drunken bum!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Doesn't Shane McGowan call them the Sally Anns?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Oh man. I got up for a little because I couldn't sleep, and now I got this stuck in my head.

I'm sure a pint of bourbon would get it unstuck.

Doesn't Shane McGowan call them the Sally Anns?

Are you conflating the Sally Army with

Sally MacLennan, old chum?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Certainly not.

from Whackyweedium:

It is sometimes referred to as the "Sally Ann" in Canada and the "Sally Army" or "Sally Bash" in the United Kingdom. In Australia, the full name is rarely used, with the slang abbreviation "The Salvos" displayed even on shop fronts, while in New Zealand they are referred to as "The Sallies".

Glennis said...

As long as you're doing music, don't forget "Follow the Fold" from Guys & Dolls - the anti-gambling missionaries that opposed Nathan Detroit and Skye Masterson's gambling.