Yesterday was the birthday of my older brother, Sweetums. The origin of the Sweetums moniker dates back to the days when I had a glorious golden 'fro. My younger brother Vincenzo and one of my cousins (gotta dig up a pseudonym for him- I think he assumed the alias "Big Leo" in the course of the hilarious "Midnight Gardeners" prank) decided to skip a high school pep rally the day before Thanksgiving, which prompted my mother to say, "Well, your brother would never skip any school event!"
My sister's peanut gallery observation was, "Oh, yeah, he's so perfect, Sweetums would never do anything bad."
Not even a minute after my mother gave her little lecture, Sweetums showed up at the door, home for Thanksgiving break a day early. My mother asked, "What are you doing here? I thought you were coming home tomorrow."
The response, "Oh, I was offered a ride home, so I bagged a couple of classes so I wouldn't have to take the bus."
Timing is everything.
Happy birthday Sweetums, give my love to the wife and kids.