Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Eric Cantor, Magnificent Backstabber

Consider, if you will, the strange case of General David Penetraeus. When he was heading up the counterinsurgency in Iraq, Petraeus was the fair-haired boy who stood up to quisling Democrats regarding war policy, any criticism of him was considered treasonous by right wingers. To the Republican true believers, General Petraeus was seen as the great hope for Republican party since Bush was a failure (for a hilarious sample of butthurt, check out this fawning video). The hero-worship for Petraeus wasn't limited to his biographer/comare.

The most bizarre feature of the current Petraeus adultery scandal is the source of the leak. A teabagging FBI agent got wind of Petraeus' affair and concocted a theory that the press was conspiring to hide the affair to, get this, protect President Obama. The teabagger contacted fellow teabagger Eric Cantor, who informed the director of the FBI. The conspiracy theory is now that Petraeus was forced to resign before he could testify about the attack on the consular office Benghazi. Yeah, this is an Obama Administration scandal, even though all of the principals are Republicans. Now, the conspiracy mavens on the right just might impeach the president for another man's infidelity (the specter of Clinton's penis yet again looms over the office of the presidency).

If Eric Cantor stabbed David Petraeus in the back in an attempt to embarrass President Obama, it would not be the first time that he stuck it to a fellow Republican. During last year's debt ceiling negotiations, Cantor bucked Boehner's authority as Speaker of the House. Eric Cantor is a false-friend worthy of a Shakespearean tragedy or a mafia movie. Part of me thinks that he might be engaged in a deep-cover Alinskyite plot to undermine the GOP from within (and then I come to my senses). It would be fun to spread this rumor in order to undermine Cantor, the man who single handedly prevented David Petraeus from rebuilding the Republican Party and taking it to victory (bonus hilarity at the link- d00d thinks Scott Brown should run in a 2013 special election if John Kerry becomes Secretary of State).

UPDATE: For some added hilarity, Petraeus features prominently in the new "Call of Booty" video game.


mikey said...

What they do?

Dr.KennethNoisewater said...

Every time Cantor speaks in that odd southern drawl I just want to punch him in the face.

Hamish Mack said...

Dr Ken, prescribing peace and love.

Substance McGravitas said...

Part of me thinks that he might be engaged in a deep-cover Alinskyite plot

I don't know how to keep track of them all.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Cantor is a shit.

Lest we forget.

Sadly, No!

Laura said...

Did you hear that Pat Robertson (the 700 Club clown) has said that Petraeus is "just a man" and that his girlfriend was a "good lookin woman!".???
Like really! How could any man, married or not, resist such a good looking babe?
He's excused.


wiley said...

An officer who has a problem keeping it in his pants? Color me (not) shocked.