Everybody seems to have one- the family member or acquaintance who always sends right-wing e-mails. Mine is a former co-worker whose e-mails I usually delete without reading. Last night, I saw the subject line "The Camel's Nose is Under the Tent!" (why are so many of their metaphors so damn racist?) and made the mistake of reading the e-mail, which included a link to a right wing article about the state of Michigan's food assistance hotline offering client services in Arabic. Normally, I'd make the assumption that this sort of offering was to help out a hypothetical 85 year old widow who emigrated from Jordan in the sixties but spent most of her time as a homemaker, and shopped largely in stores catering to the Arabic-speaking community and has the same level of English comprehension as the stereotypical black-clad Belmont nonna, but the freepers paint a picture of strapping young buqs buying halal T-bone steaks and ammonium nitrate with food stamps and Cadillac driving welfare sheikhs.
I read the summary, but didn't click the link- it's just the same old racist bullshit with an added paranoid spin. To spice up the e-mail, though, my former co-worker added a warning of his own to the e-mail... in 48 point red letters: WAKE UP SHEEPLE! YOU WILL BE SUBGAGATED!!!
You will be... subgagated? At first, I assumed this was a spelling error resulting from the brain-rot that seems to affect all right-wingers, but then I realized that it was actually a clever portmanteau word coined to describe a heretofore unrealized threat. The real danger facing this nation, subgagation, is subjugation by Lady Gaga. Yes, we will be crushed under the stiletto'd bootheel of a cartoon sexpot, and an individual who is renowned for not wearing a lot of clothing will lead us into a Burqamerican dystopia. Yes, we're nosing under the camel toe, and pitching a tent... soon, we will all be SUBGAGATED!!! If you think it can't happen, think again sheeple- hell, even the Amish are being SUBGAGATED!!!, and those d00dz don't even have TeeVee machines.
ADDENDUM: Damn, damn, damn, I started composing this post this morning after reading the inspirational e-mail, but was unable to write it immediately because of a crazy little thing called work. I totally forgot to add a throwaway sentence after writing about being crushed under the stiletto'd boot... "I'll be in my bunk... er... bunker." This is why I'm not pulling down the big bux writing for a witty TeeVee sitcom (do any still exist?).
ADDENDUM TO THE ADDENDUM: Is an addendum beginning with "damn, damn, damn" and addendamn?