Wednesday, September 15, 2010

International Burn a Copy of Treasure Island Day

This coming Sunday is Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is a day dedicated to glorifying murderous, scurvy sea dogs. Still, I feel that it is time for America to quit apologizing for our actions and bowing to pirates. We must send a clear message to the piratical element. We will no longer be controlled and dominated by their fears and threats. It is time for America to return to being America. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote Treasure Island after the golden days of piracy, a safe time when pirates could be portrayed as freedom-loving swashbucklers with a shockingly modern approach to the concept of Workers' Compensation. Today, with a resurgence of piracy, I strongly feel that it's time to burn a copy of Treasure Island in order to send a message that piracy is about pieces of hate, not pieces of eight.

9 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Arrrrrrrr!

You'll get my Treasure Island when you tear it from me cold dead hands!
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

You'll get my Treasure Island when you tear it from me cold dead hands!

You'll see, I'm not kidding around!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

America will never get out of this depression YES I SAID DEPRESSION until you all turn away from pirates and embrace zombies.

FULL EMBRACES. Hollywood hugs will not count.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I think that burning a copy of Treasure Island will be a Teach-able moment.

TruculentandUnreliable said...

"pieces of hate, not pieces of eight" made me cackle like a motherfucker.

zrm, I thought the zombie embrace (ewww) was pretty much complete and we were moving on to talking bananas or some shit.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

whoah. Didja bring enough for everyone, T&U?

Smut Clyde said...

burning a copy of Treasure Island
You mean the Keith Jarrett CD? I have a LEGIT copy already.

Von said...

Can't Zombies and Pirates just get along!?!
Ooooh, I think I have my Haloween costume! Zombie Pirate Wench!!
Thanks guys!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Imma gonna a cashier's check for the royalty payments, Von.