Sunday, September 4, 2016

The Conversation Took a Turn for the Weird

Today was a busy day- we are in the midst of a late-summer fundraising event, a family friendly harvest festival that has been drawing about twelve-hundred visitors to the site each day this weekend. There are games and craft activities for the children and a beer concession and bluegrass band for the grownups, plus a nice low-key educational content so we can sneak in some learning. It's a nice atmosphere, a great vibe. I had a seven year old try to give me some of her Pokémon cards because I answered some questions she had, I thanked her, then told her she'd be better off bringing her cards to school and trading them with her schoolmates for ones she didn't have. Sweet kid, I didn't mention that Pokémon were a bit of a touchy subject round these parts.

The day wound down, and I was able to lock the visitors' center so the shop assistant could close up. After locking up, I saw two gentlemen outside the front door, so I grabbed a copy of our brochure and a map put out by the local chamber of commerce which lists local businesses. The two guys, one who looked to be in his mid-to-late forties and one who looked to be in his mid-to-late fifties, were visiting from the Syracuse area. I explained that we were closed for the day, but that our sites were open on Labor Day and we were hosting a festival which runs from about 10AM to 5PM. I gave them a bit of the local scuttlebutt, and indicated on the chamber of commerce map a section which lists local hotels. We chatted for a bit, and I told them where they could go to buy some local souvenirs.

The two gentlemen thanked me, then left the premises. About twenty minutes later, they returned and the older of them asked me, "Do you know of any adult places around here?" Things got just a bit weird. I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, and I like to think of myself as imperturbable.

To clarify matters, I replied, "Like, a porn shop? There's a place a few miles away on the service road to the main highway."

"Do they have a cinema, or booths where you can watch?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh... I don't know... if you stop in there, someone might be able to help you with that. If not, you're not that far from New York City."

The gent thanked me again, and the two went on their way. It was just a little weird having a conversation like this with a complete stranger while on the job (of course, it would be a lot more awkward having such a conversation with a friend, or worse, a family member). I'm not about to mention this to the boss in the context of company 'hospitality standards', largely out of concern that he'd tell me where I should have sent these guys. At any rate, it was weird, and in a weird way, it reminded me of an obscure song I heard on the legendary WLIR as a kid... a song that I am not the only one to vaguely remember that I now know is Soft Core by a band named Maurice and the Cliches:

Kinda funny to think back on listening to this as a kid... thanks for the nostalgia trip, friendly pervs!


ButchPansy said...

Haha! Surely you know you were being cruised? They wishfully thought perhaps you were being kind and helpful for reasons other than neighborliness and wanted to give you every opportunity to offer to show them around after you clocked out.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Whoa, never thought of that...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

When the going gets weird, the weird get going.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I dunno, staying put was the better option here.