Sunday, August 12, 2012

Ryan? Ryan! I Laughed So Hard, I'm Cryin'

After I finished working a graveyard shift yesterday, I turned on my radi-adi-o to catch the traffic report, and found that I was in time to hear the press conference in which Romney named Paul Ryan of Wisconsin as his Vice Presidential candidate. Paul Fucking Ryan? The guy who proposed gutting Medicare and giving vouchers to seniors so they could **SNERK** purchase private health insurance accounts? The guy who tproposed eliminating estate taxes and taxes on interest and capital gains income while shifting more of the tax burden onto the middle class? That Paul Fucking Ryan?

Oddly (I couldn't tell if this were a gaffe or a weird attempt to bow out), Mitt introduced Ryan as "the next president of the United States". WTF? It was truly an odd moment. During a quick trip to the bank, I caught some of the television coverage of the event and I had a strange thought, Ryan looks kinda like he could be one of Romney's five sons: Tagg, Thag, Grag, Spag, and Malagate. I imagine the Brylcreem budget of this ticket will run to six figures.

The choice of Ryan is somewhat odd- the conventional wisdom was that Romney would tack to the center in the general election, but he seems to have gone full-tilt Teahadi. Also, with Ryan as the VP candidate, the Obama team using the president's repeated clashes with Ryan has a great deal of its opposition research already done. Also, the Saturday (slow news) revelation of his running mate probably won't get Romney off the hook for not releasing his tax returns.

In the meantime, we have the guy who, in true scumbag fashion, used leveraged buyouts to purchase companies, then liquidated said companies to pay himself and his investors handsomely, resulting in the loss of thousands of jobs running with the guy who wants to cut food stamps to the people his running mate fired. As Betty Cracker brilliantly put it, it's the Vulture/Voucher 2012 ticket. Of course, the snark has already been ramped up, with Esquire's Charles Pierce having dubbed Ryan the Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver (no offense to zombies). Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver has a nice ring to it, it's like something out of a lurid 1950's Man's Life magazine. I can see the cover now: ZOMBIE-EYED GRANNY STARVERS STARVED MY GRANNY!





It's an uncanny likeness, isn't it?

11 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Some thoughts:

1) Eddie Munster Shrugged

2) If you're going to run to Obama's right, you need to get waaaaay right.

2.1) In particular, cutting Social Security and Medicare for some partial repeal of the Bush-Cheney-Obama tax cuts is now the "liberal alternative" to the Ryan plan. This is no accident, this is eleven dimensional chess...as play by Obama against the people who voted for him.
~

Dusty,Hells most vocal Bitch said...

BeeUtiful likeness m'dear B4!

I imagine the Brylcreem budget of this ticket will run to six figures. I almost peed myself over that line. ;-)

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

In particular, cutting Social Security and Medicare for some partial repeal of the Bush-Cheney-Obama tax cuts is now the "liberal alternative" to the Ryan plan

Yet to see anybody actually, you know, PROPOSE this.

And don't point to the Catfood Commission, designed for the Faleboat.

In fact, the ACA, for all its faults, actually bolstered Medicare by fixing the donut hole. Not to mention all those women's health issues it addressed.

M. Bouffant said...

I am much more concerned about "those booming 'health' clubs." What's up w/ that?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Obvious insanity, MB.

mikey said...

I'm still trying to understand if Thunder and his fellow Obama haters really grasp that if they are persuasive and effective enough they will bring about the election of Mitt Romney. I usually can't get any of them to address this flaw in their otherwise impeccable reasoning...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

MB just wants to see it all burn and not soon enough....

Smut Clyde said...

For comparison: sheep-killing dog.
Ryan likeness #2.

Oh look, an entire journal!
http://www.amazon.com/The-Sheep-killing-Dog-Volumes-928-939/dp/1277953139

Was this Rmoney's first choice, or was Ryan forced on him to keep the money taps turned on? He really doesn't seem ideal. It's all very well suggesting that a candidate's personal tax history is not a legitimate topic for attacks, but it's not going to wash when you choose a running-mate whose entire policy is about "creating new tax breaks for millionaires".

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

1) Eddie Munster Shrugged

Too funny.

In particular, cutting Social Security and Medicare for some partial repeal of the Bush-Cheney-Obama tax cuts is now the "liberal alternative" to the Ryan plan. This is no accident, this is eleven dimensional chess...as play by Obama against the people who voted for him.

We need more progressive congresscritters to counteract Obama's center-right tack.

I almost peed myself over that line. ;-)

Uh, sorry?

In fact, the ACA, for all its faults, actually bolstered Medicare by fixing the donut hole. Not to mention all those women's health issues it addressed.

I'm a single-payer advocate, but that shit'll never happens until Bernie Sanders is seen as a centrist.

I am much more concerned about "those booming 'health' clubs." What's up w/ that?

Booming health club? Is that where you lift cannonballs?

I'm still trying to understand if Thunder and his fellow Obama haters really grasp that if they are persuasive and effective enough they will bring about the election of Mitt Romney. I usually can't get any of them to address this flaw in their otherwise impeccable reasoning...

I understand the frustration, but I think that the nation can't afford high principles at the expense of pragmatism.

MB just wants to see it all burn and not soon enough....

He might get his wish.

Was this Rmoney's first choice, or was Ryan forced on him to keep the money taps turned on? He really doesn't seem ideal. It's all very well suggesting that a candidate's personal tax history is not a legitimate topic for attacks, but it's not going to wash when you choose a running-mate whose entire policy is about "creating new tax breaks for millionaires".

I think it was a "Hail Mary" pass to fire up the base, while the vote-suppression pixies work their magic in swing states. I can't imagine that it will work, though.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And don't point to the Catfood Commission, designed for the Faleboat.

Which must be why both Bill Clinton and President Obama mentioned it in their convention speeches.

And zrm, don't tell me you haven't seen me link to John Conyers before.

"We’ve got to educate the American people at the same time we educate the President of the United States. The Republicans, Speaker Boehner or Majority Leader Cantor did not call for Social Security cuts in the budget deal. The President of the United States called for that."

That was July 27, 2011.

John Conyers has been serving in the House since 1965, and is a member of the Black Congressional Congress.

You can say you think he's lying, if that is your opinion. I do not think he is.
~

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