Sunday, February 5, 2012

Can't Be Arsed Watching Spectacles

So, there seems to be some sort of sporting event taking place tonight... I decided to cover for a co-worker so he could watch the game with his children. I just can't be arsed watching the overblown spectacle, and the ubiquitous commercials. I used to enjoy going to a local tavern to watch the game... most places had open bar deals and it's a great night for chatting up teh ladeez (the funniest snappy comeback I've ever had was when I started hitting on a willowy gal who told me, "Most guys hit on my friend, because she's bustier than I am." to which I replied, "Do I look like a baby to you?" Editor's Note: Don't answer that question after looking at the profile picture of the big-headed hairless guy). For the last couple of years, I just couldn't be arsed participating in the whole spectacle... better to work than to blow a day's pay on booze and sundries.

My uncle Richard used to have some of the best season tickets in Giants' Stadium. Back in the '60s, my grandmother won four season tickets in the upper tier in a high school benefit raffle. She gave the tickets to my uncle Richard, and he was able to upgrade every year until he finally had tickets in the third row behind the Giants' bench on the 40th yardline. Here he was, an ordinary middle class guy from the Bronx, with the best damn seats in the house. Every home day, he'd get to the stadium early, and put on an elaborate tailgate party. He'd often give tickets to co-workers or relatives- he allowed himself the luxury of buying the season tickets every year, and he never stinted when it came to extending his hospitality.

Back in 2008, when the new Giants' Stadium was opened, the organization decided to charge Seat License Fees. My uncle would have had to have shelled out $80,000 for the privilege of purchasing season tickets. Suddenly, the one luxury that a middle-class guy from the Bronx could indulge in became unaffordable. No circuses if you've got no bread, Joe Punchclock.

Of course, my uncle had to give up the tickets that he'd had since the Johnson administration. He'd been less enthusiastic about heading out the games anyway, not being as young as he used to be. The last time I attended a game with him, I found it none-too-enjoyable... the sound system was way too loud, and goddamn commercials were broadcast on the scoreboard between plays. I left the stadium feeling insulted and wishing I'd brought earplugs.

I opted out of professional sports fandom. I'd rather watch the amateurs. Why buy into the hype and the high finance of the big leagues when I can see a camogie match in Van Cortlandt park, or the annual New York Open every March?

16 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

Oh man....you're so awesome...I would totally be your wing-woman. How fucking fun would that be?

Also, sports bore me. I am such a punch bowl-pooper when it comes to this stuff.

M. Bouffant said...

I'll be damned, it never occurred to me those "licenses" screwed guys who could afford the tickets each yr. but didn't have $Xthousand to burn (beside the obvious screwing in keeping non-millionaires out).

And all for a one-time infusion of cash to the club.

the sound system was way too loud

Why I avoid the cinema. At least the last baseball game I went to wasn't loud as ...

That said, rooting for the Patriots despite the name, because their QB is more cosmopolitan-seeming than that hick in NY.

Laura said...

I can't get into professional sports. I'm with you. I'd rather watch people that are playing just because they love participating.

Like, my kids. :)

I'm glad that your Uncle didn't get the shaft until he had kind of lost interest or ability to get to.. That being said, I'm sure that he would have loved to have been able to pass them along to someone else. He could have really made someones day!

I mean really... why hasn't some lady snatched you up??!! Are they all nuts where you come from or what?

((Hugs))
Laura
P.S. If there are a TON of spelling mistakes in this message I apologize. My glasses are MIA and I can't see a darn thing.
I'm so old. :(

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

So, there seems to be some sort of sporting event taking place tonight...

Yes, the Superb Owl was on.

It was actually one of the better ones I've watched.
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Oh man....you're so awesome...I would totally be your wing-woman. How fucking fun would that be?

The best way to leave a bar with a lady is to arrive with a lady- it's axiomatic!

I'll be damned, it never occurred to me those "licenses" screwed guys who could afford the tickets each yr. but didn't have $Xthousand to burn (beside the obvious screwing in keeping non-millionaires out).

Yeah, it was the best way to kick the "riff raff", aka ordinary people, out.

I mean really... why hasn't some lady snatched you up??!! Are they all nuts where you come from or what?

Nah, they're not all nuts... just the ones I seem to go out with.

Yes, the Superb Owl was on.

I blame Canada!

Laura said...

Nah, they're not all nuts... just the ones I seem to go out with.

Ahh, so, you're a "crazy magnet" are you?
Well, that would explain why we're all here. Commenting on your blog. :)
What's this about blaming Canada?
I'm going to have to click on that link!!!
Damn Americans! Blame us for everything. :P

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Hmm. It almost makes one consider the benefits of a public ownership of a team that receives significant support from the public at large. Gosh, I wish there were a team that was so arranged....


Chuckles and amusement. Respect to you for allowing your compatriots to do what they needed to do, and congrats for the success of your regionally-affiliated sporting corporation!

Anyways, I went to a traditional party as throne by a good friend, carrying a quantity of jambalaya and a five-pack of my favorite Holiday Spice lager, as is usual; And spent a fair amount of time chatting up the downtown alderman regarding politics and development projects.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Ahh, so, you're a "crazy magnet" are you?

Ya know, not really... not in a while, at any rate. In retrospect, I think I was being somewhat unfair. I think the issue lies mainly with myself. My big problem is I'm still waiting for the geek-goddess, warrior princess, outdoorsy type with the wicked, snarky sense of humor and the patience to deal with my quirks (you don't like a d00d coming home covered with mud and bruises after an "adventure", I'm probably not the guy for you).

Hmm. It almost makes one consider the benefits of a public ownership of a team that receives significant support from the public at large.

Ya know, Wellington and Jack Mara were instrumental in creating the revenue sharing model which has led the NFL to be so viable.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

And yet, and yet... There only seems to be one NFL team who are communally owned....

Congrats nonetheless, to your locally affiliated sporting entity.

Enjoy your attainment of this last season's trophy, christened with the same name as our local sporting team's venerated coach and sharing the name as the esteemed Wisconsin paying field.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

umm, I meant PLAYING field. Way more holiday spice ale than I should have.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Superb Owl don't give a hoot.
~

Aunt Snow said...

Superb Owl...the other day my spouse and dog encountered the owl that lives in the oak below our property - four in the afternoon, it flew past them, then alighted in the tree, looked down on them and then spun its head around.

I can NEVER see owls - I hear them in the trees but can't SEE them.

The only sporting spectacular we've enjoyed was in 1995 the MLB Western Championship series in Seattle - if you follow a team that almost never makes it into the post-season, when they finally DO make it in, it's easier for the little guys to get tickets. There's no group of entrenched entitled fans already established.

Laura said...

still waiting for the geek-goddess, warrior princess, outdoorsy type with the wicked, snarky sense of humor and the patience to deal with my quirks (you don't like a d00d coming home covered with mud and bruises after an "adventure", I'm probably not the guy for you).

If I was available, I'd totally pretend to be all of those things for you. :)

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I can NEVER see owls - I hear them in the trees but can't SEE them.

During the day, when they are at rest, they look uncannily like big wasps' nests. I once saw a tiny owl, with a really sweet face, around sunset, just as it was taking off. Now, that was a magical moment!

If I was available, I'd totally pretend to be all of those things for you. :)

You're lucky you're not available- that would be a whole lot of work!

Laura said...

Umm excuse me??!!
Are you saying that I'm not a "goddess", "princess", "wicked sense of humor"..and patient?!
Well I never!
That's fine... *folds arms, looks down... lower lip sticks out*

I think that the only thing I'm not is a outdoorsy geek. And I'm a bit geekish.
I'm sure that I could fake the outdoorsy stuff... for a few years anyhow. :)

So THERE! Smarty pants! I'm f'n perfect!

Laura said...

Ahem.... :)