Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Trebuchets in the News

Narcotraffickers are now using a trebuchet to launch bundles of cannabis across the southern border of the U.S. An attempt to use the trebuchet during the Siege of Tenochtitlan was unsuccessful, so the trebuchet was shunned by the people of Mexico for centuries. The sophisticated design of the modern potrebuchet would suggest the involvement of a coterie of New Zealanders in this caper, a connection which Interpol should investigate.

If Cortes' forces had successfully deployed their trebuchet, the weapon could very well have been adopted by other conquistadores. Think of it, if this guy had had a trebuchet, he could have used it to hurl his steamboat over the Andes mountains.

For an overview of narcotrafficking on the border, the latest edition of Playboy has an article by T.J. English, an organizer of the benefit I attended in December. Buy the issue for the article, not because the cover girl on the left has thighs that look like they could crack coconuts my poor poor head. Uh... I'll be in my bunk, reading the article.

15 comments:

Substance McGravitas said...

The Moleman could be conquering the Earth with narcotraffic, but NOOOOOO, he's working on sucking cities down into the centre of the Earth. Keep It Simple Stupid!

Smut Clyde said...

I didn't want to be pedantic about the fact that this is not a trebuchet, but then I thought, If I don't then someone else will.

vacuumslayer said...

B^4, we gotta get you a woman.

You're an awesome guy in a city with millions of attractive women. What's the freakin' hold-up?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Everyone on the innertoobz is a critic.
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I didn't want to be pedantic about the fact that this is not a trebuchet

It was labeled a catapult, but the video seems to be a counterweight-operated device.

You're an awesome guy in a city with millions of attractive women. What's the freakin' hold-up?

None of the women I've dated lately has had a big enough dowry.

vacuumslayer said...

None of the women I've dated lately has had a big enough dowry.

And by "dowry" I'll assume you mean badonkadonk.

Brando said...

Think of it, if this guy had had a trebuchet, he could have used it to hurl his steamboat over the Andes mountains.

Imagine how much money and human lives we would have saved if we had built the Panama Trebuchet instead of the Panama Canal. Hard to get yellow fever when you're flying above the jungle at 300 miles per hour.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

And by "dowry" I'll assume you mean badonkadonk.

Bubeleh, I live within walking distance of the Bronx- badonkadonks are not in short supply!

Brando said...

Not many girls can offer up huge tracts of land.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I used to work with this short, rotund Puerto Rican guy who was hilarious. He loved large women. One day, a woman who made me look like a junior petite walked by, and this guy turned to me and said, "She's not fat, she's substantial."

I still crack up every time I picture him saying that.

vacuumslayer said...

Lol! I like that!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"She's not fat, she's substantial."

he needs to move to Wisconsin.

We are ALL substantial here.

Smut Clyde said...

Big-boned.

Smut Clyde said...

but the video seems to be a counterweight-operated device.

The pictures I've seen show a stretched bungee cord. It's not even an onager!!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The pictures I've seen show a stretched bungee cord. It's not even an onager!!

I demand to see the long-form video!

It would stand to reason that, given the device's failure at the Siege of Tenochtitlan, any Mexicans would be leery of the trebuchet.