Friday, February 25, 2011

Product Development

Dear Messers Cohen & Greenfield:

How are you gentlemen? I have noticed a vexing lacuna in your otherwise stellar line of products. I believe that your organization would benefit from a product for ice cream lovers who are suffering from sore throats and nasal congestion. A tea, lemon, and honey ice cream swirled with crushed menthol-eucalyptus cough drops would be a good addition to your family of products, and would represent your entry into the burgeoning "nutraceuticals" market. I have no doubt that you will begin production as soon as possible- you know what you doing.

In keeping with your whimsical product-naming conventions, I propose that this new product be called "Snotty Hottie".

Thank you for your consideration in this matter. I await your coming check, preferable an oversized novelty check.

Very Truly Yours,

B.B.B.B.

12 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And who wouldn't want to have a Snotty Hottie?

P.S. Perhaps you could work on a nutriaceutical.
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I think a nutriaceutical would be good for "women's health" issues, if you know what I mean, and I think that you do.

vacuumslayer said...

Well, I am ALL BETTER now.

No, seriously, I'm nowhere near 100% today, but this was just the thing I needed to get a few percentage points closer to it.

"Snotty Hottie" is hilarious. I'm stealing it. I'm using it. I'm pretending I made it up. Fair warning. That's what you get for being clever.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Did you get a neti pot?

That's what you get for being clever.

This aggession will not stand... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!

vacuumslayer said...

I actually already have one and use it regularly. I just have chronic allergies and a eustachian tube disorder that makes me very susceptible to nasty sinus issues. (My pregnancy has helped things either.) Which just makes "snotty hottie" all the more funny to me.

Smut Clyde said...

a nutriaceutical would be good for "women's health" issues

Totally not a beaver.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Totally not a beaver.

But a reasonable substitute, and probably also considered a fish for purposes of Lenten abstinence.

Hunger Tallest Palin (or whatever handle I posted under the last time) said...

Brilliant.

That is all.

M. Bouffant said...

That the photo Thunder32 linked was from "Coast to Coast AM" is what's most disturbing, as that is probably no more a "nutria" than I'm an intelligent fungus from Tau Ceti IV.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

It looks like a nutria- suckers get up to 20 pounds. I remember seeing one swimming in the Arno River and my friend saying, "Look at the size of that RAT!" Being a nerd, I knew exactly what it was.

Substance McGravitas said...

There's already Chunky Monkey for those stomach-upset days.

nedbeaumontjr said...

Chunky Monkey is one of the major food groups Chez__B. Along with Half-Naked Popcorn.