Today, my landlady had an electrician over to replace some exterior lights that had malfunctioning light and motion sensors. This gentleman was intelligent, after all, he was doing skilled labor which is potentially dangerous, and personable. We had a great conversation about his career- he learned his trade while serving in the US Navy, and had worked as an electrician for about thirty years. He had a small audio player on which he played a well-curated Pandora playlist of classic soul and R&B tunes, with some seventies rock thrown in to mix things up. We got along very well, and then the conversation took a weird turn: "Do you know why Bill Gates retired last year?"
"Uh... he had enough money?"
This friendly, loquacious skilled tradesperson then proceeded to tell me about the dangers of 5G. I 'learned' that 5G radiation mimics sunlight, but doesn't produce Vitamin D, which triggers the body to produce coronaviruses. The first 5G towers were installed in Wuhan, China, and the installation spread to Italy, then Spain, and eventually the US. He informed me that he had worked on the installation of some 5G towers in New York City. The 5G installation scandal led not only to Bill Gates' retirement, but caused the resignations of the CEOs of financial institutions which bankrolled the 5G rollout...
I have to say that he wasn't a Trumper by any stretch of the imagination, he asserted that Trump himself had secretly stepped down and was now merely a figurehead. In a perfect illustration of the conspiracy theory maven's obsession with semantics, he claimed that this was telegraphed by TV news chyrons which described him a 'President Trump', but not 'President of the United States Trump'.
Like Lady Gaga, whose grandparents were old neighbors of mine, I have a damn good poker face, so I was able to 'Yup-Uhuh' as I absorbed the Cursed Conspiraboomer content. All the while, I was wearing one of my Secret Science Club T-shirts, but the blue-on-blue color scheme made the logo, which screams ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED, had to distinguish. Yep, I was wearing a shirt depicting Leviathan while listening to confirmation that the normies have figured out the sinister 5G plan, delivered by a genuinely nice guy who was on top of a ladder installing new light fixtures.
Thankfully, the conversation never turned to the subject of Teh J00z.
4 comments:
Damn, that settles it! I'm taking every penny I have in my 401(K) and investing it in that company that makes aluminum foil. It's clear aluminum foil hats are the wave of the future.
Yours very crankily,
The New York Crank
These people are barking mad. Like the president*
Aahhh. Now it all comes together-I was blind, but now I see!
😉 By no means have I "converted," but this helps me understand many of the people around me here in South Central KS. This skilled tradesman, and your translation, is succinct and articulate. Around here, they just make my head explode if they get started. Thank you!
Damn, that settles it! I'm taking every penny I have in my 401(K) and investing it in that company that makes aluminum foil. It's clear aluminum foil hats are the wave of the future.
Can't go wrong with that plan!
These people are barking mad. Like the president*
Yeah, this guy was high-functioning, but boy howdy, did he fall down a rabbit hole.
his skilled tradesman, and your translation, is succinct and articulate. Around here, they just make my head explode if they get started. Thank you!
I wonder how much of it is due to the fact that a lot of these people spend long stretches of time alone, either working or traveling from job to job.
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