Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Here Be Monsters

In an ominous note, The Kenyan Usurper wishes to earmark three billion dollars to map brain activity. Besides the fact that this Brain Activity Mapping project, or BAM, has been narcissistically named after the president, a map of brain activity would pose a dire threat to conservatives. Conservatives tend to have larger, more active amygdalae than liberals- the amygdala is that portion of the brain which regulates emotions, such as fear. Because of their overly developed amygdalae and smaller anterior cingulate cortices, conservative thought tends to be limited to emotional outbursts, specifically rage, fear, and self-righteous indignation (and conservative "thinkers" are best characterized as idtellectuals- all lizard brain, baby). If the brain mapping project is successful, and results in therapies which help counteract overly honed fear responses, it could spell the end of the conservative movement. A nation of happy, well-adjusted individuals is anathema to movement conservatism- happy, well adjusted people tend to have a "live and let live" mentality, and are less susceptible to divide and conquer techniques.

The conservatives fare better when people are left in the dark, especially when it comes to self-awareness. For them, it's far better to keep the brain a terra incognita, the purlieus of the monsters of the id.


As a postscript, here's a link for the podcast Here Be Monsters. Check out any old episodes which feature Dusty, who has a sultry radio voice. If you're thorough, you might find an episode in which a distinguished, erudite man from the not-so-drouthy Antipodes makes an appearance.

10 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Speaking of monsters...

Bernstein had three reactions: 1. “do we need another plan?”; 2. “this new plan doesn’t look to be very helpful”; and 3. “did the [White House] create a monster by commissioning them to come up with a fiscal plan in the first place?”

They still don't get it. They don't want to get it.

The last thing we need is our President babbling about cutting the deficit when unemployment is close to 8%. It's fookin' nuts!
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Although thndr's link actually does not contain the president saying any such thing. Actually, it contains no quotes from the President at all.

HBM also occasionally had a zombie jump in to blather. Not as interesting as an upside-downie, admittedly.

fish said...

I'm thinking a small piece of that $3B should be diverted to, and I am just spitballing here, zebrafish research...

Smut Clyde said...

That 'conservativism / amygdala' study was a real shocker, though; as far as anyone could tell, it was intended to produce headlines and blog chatter rather than anything that neuroscientists could use.

It's another example of "crap pseudoscience that people only take seriously because it's telling them what they already think they know".

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Tengrain said...

B4 -

Surely you read by now that The Kenyan Usurper is going to use Obamacare to have the American Psychiatric Association declare Christianity a mental Illness, you know, to take away their rights indefinitely, and probably lock them up in a FEMA camp somewhere?

Regards,

Tengrain

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The last thing we need is our President babbling about cutting the deficit when unemployment is close to 8%. It's fookin' nuts!

Austerity, it's what we need more of... and plants crave electrolytes.

HBM also occasionally had a zombie jump in to blather. Not as interesting as an upside-downie, admittedly.

I recall Monsieur Bouffant made an appearance as well. He has a great voice.

I'm thinking a small piece of that $3B should be diverted to, and I am just spitballing here, zebrafish research...

And beer!

It's another example of "crap pseudoscience that people only take seriously because it's telling them what they already think they know".

Yeah, any article which cites one single factor as the cause of a complex set of behaviors is dubious, but the resultant howl of rage from the right tended to affirm the article's premise.

Hello there, I found your blog by way of Google at the same time as
searching for a similar subject, your web site came up, it looks great.


Fess up, you were looking for "Frazetta ass" or "Diora Baird tits", weren't you?

Surely you read by now that The Kenyan Usurper is going to use Obamacare to have the American Psychiatric Association declare Christianity a mental Illness, you know, to take away their rights indefinitely, and probably lock them up in a FEMA camp somewhere?

That is some awesome crazy right there! Would Unitarians receive probation?

Smut Clyde said...

The Kenyan Usurper is going to use Obamacare to have the American Psychiatric Association declare Christianity a mental Illness

The main criterion for including some condition 'X' in the DSM-V is the same as for every single previous version of the DSM, i.e. "Is there a large enough lobby of psychologists who expect to make money from treating 'X' if it becomes eligible for health insurance?"

So conservatives need not fear that their ideology will be redefined as a mental-health syndrome, because as the saying goes, You can't fix Stupid.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

So conservatives need not fear that their ideology will be redefined as a mental-health syndrome, because as the saying goes, You can't fix Stupid.

Yeah, the pro-Stupid lobby is always more lucrative.

Substance McGravitas said...

If it was fixable teachers would get the big bucks.