Thursday, July 26, 2012

New Romney Adviser

In the wake of the "Anglo-Saxon heritage" controversy, Mitt Romney has made a decision to retain the services of a new adviser, who he hopes will appeal to the youth and female demographics. Let's see what she's got to say:


“We are part of a European heritage, and he feels that the special relationship is special,” the adviser said of Mr Romney, adding: “The White House didn’t fully appreciate the shared history we have”.


At least it's a little more inclusive!

UPDATE: Mitt should consider hiring her, because his own efforts to charm his hosts have all turned to custard.

15 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

"Special" is a good word for Romney and his advisers.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Mitt's awesome, he just insulted the Brits, and was taken to the woodshed.

vacuumslayer said...

I know. It's DELICOUS.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

it's amazing that Obama isn't beating him by 30 points.

He's such a bad candidate, who can only articulate his candidacy as "but it's my TURN, you people!"

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

it's amazing that Obama isn't beating him by 30 points.

I think the media wants to drag this out for the sake of ratings. I imagine the GOP convention is going to be a rage fest, though.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I know. It's DELICIOUS.

It's fun to watch him being falling apart- here's a guy who's had everything handed to him, yet he buys into his own "self-made man" hype... that's why it's particularly awesome to see him go down the tubes.

He could have a great career playing a stuck-up prig in a "slobs vs. snobs" comedy.

wiley said...

This is funny. The great businessman hires a new adviser to say what is essentially the same thing that he hired her to counter. It's beautiful in it's own pathetic Poe's law kind of way. He should pick Sarah Palin as his running mate, to make his candidacy as "special" as he can.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Heck, he should pick ME as his running mate.

At least then he gets the undead vote.

And I get a few bucks out of the deal.

mikey said...

Wiley makes a great point. One of the few things 'Businessmen' are genuinely supposed to be good at is charm and charisma. I used to work for a company that was very big in the Sony ecosystem and they would send out some big shotz from Japan a couple times a year to meet with us. My boss was very smooth and polite and diplomatic and I'd come in and do something crude to fuck it up. Every goddam time. But Willard isn't even capable of THAT role.

And the Zombie has a good idea. Except the undead voters are unreliable, so perhaps I should get the VP role. I could avoid taking a position in the debates better than most.

"mikey, what would your administration do about immigration?"

"Umm, sure, immigration, that's an important issue and we'd do some important stuff, hey, where the hell are my trousers?"

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I don't think my CV can compete with mikey's. I cede the ZOM NOM NOMination.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

https://twitter.com/#!/search/realtime/AmericanBorat
~

M. Bouffant said...

Oh ho, Thunder gets into Twitter despite previous yada!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

he probably also has a smartphone that he never told us about.

Substance McGravitas said...

He could have a great career playing a stuck-up prig in a "slobs vs. snobs" comedy.

SHUSH! Wait until the commercial.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

He should pick Sarah Palin as his running mate, to make his candidacy as "special" as he can.

I think Sarah will cut his head off at the GOP convention and take the nomination: "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!"

At least then he gets the undead vote.

So, it should be #RomneyShamblers?

Wiley makes a great point. One of the few things 'Businessmen' are genuinely supposed to be good at is charm and charisma

I think Mitt's problem is that he's cut off from a whole arena of "schmoozing". Being a Mormon must put a crimp on those 3 martini lunches.

I don't think my CV can compete with mikey's. I cede the ZOM NOM NOMination.

How does your CU (undead) stack up?

https://twitter.com/#!/search/realtime/AmericanBorat

Is very nice!

Oh ho, Thunder gets into Twitter despite previous yada!

Assimilated by the blue birdie borg?

he probably also has a smartphone that he never told us about.

Why doesn't he release his wireless bills?

SHUSH! Wait until the commercial.

Commercial? I want a whole MOVIE!