Monday, October 29, 2012

You Look Familiar, I Think I Met Your Sister

Wow, three days without a post... it's been crazy here in Bastardstan. My last post was on Thursday, the last moment of calmness I've had in a while. Thursday night, I returned to work one of our major fall fundraisers after getting a whopping three hours of sleep. Friday? I slept until noon, then got my act together and headed back to work the fundraiser that night. After five and a half hours of sleep, I headed down to Manhattan to teach, then traveled straight to work, stopping only to get a couple of slices of pizza.

As you can imagine, I passed out when I got home and slept until noon yet again on Sunday. When I got to work at 3PM, I found that our last fundraising night was cancelled due to the impending Hurricane Sandy (a sizable contingent of our cast and crew commutes up from NYC and the MTA suspended train service at 7PM. Instead of working the event, I helped break the sets down and collected a metric fuckton of hardware off the site. One of my co-workers jokingly told me, "I don't mean to offend you, but you're a beast." No offense was taken, one's gotta do what one must, even if it's exhausting.

Today, I got to work early to beat the fury of the predicted Frankenstorm. I'm just as safe at work as I would be at home, and I'm a hell of a lot safer than I'd be on the roads. I made sure I packed as if I were going on a camping trip- I have several changes of clothes, plenty of food, and I made sure I filled several large bottles with water just in case the shit hits the fan. My first order of business on the job was making sure that mah preshus kittehs were safely locked in their dwellings and supplied with plenty of cat food. Can't have them running around in a titanic gale.

Hilariously, one of the young ladies in the event crew had made a joke about disaster preparedness: "Stock up on condoms and frozen vegetables. If you are stuck with no place to go, you can just have sex until you're sore, then you can use the frozen vegetable packages as ice packs, and you can eat them when they thaw out." Well, this comment made me revise my disaster preparedness plans... "Whatever you do, make sure you are stranded with this girl if there is a disaster."

Unfortunately, the only one I'm stranded with Sandy, and she's looking a lot like her sister Irene, with whom I spent the night. Because of the timing, and the storm's effect on our fundraisers, I am also reminded of last year's late October blizzard. The forecasters have indicated that Sandy could be with us for up to 36 hours.

It's going to be a long, rough couple of days and I'm all out of bubblegum frozen vegetables.


mikey said...

Interestingly (or not), my ex-wife's name was Sandy (actually, it still is, but trying to figure out the appropriate tense in that context is ultimately not worth the cycles expended). This makes much of the news reports hilarious to me and the monkey. The Ocelot thinks we're nutz.

We don't have this phenomena you folks over on the other edge of the map seem to refer to as "weather", so I have only a passing familiarity with the concept. A Big Storm™ in Northern California drops an inch or rain and gets breathless, wall-to-wall 48 hour teevee news coverage, under the rubric "StormWatch 20xx", obviously just substituting the current year. If they remember to update the graphic, that is. When we want to have winter, we just drive a couple hours east to Lake Tahoe where it very compliantly snows like a mofo, but then when we tire of trudging around in the snow and ice we just drive an hour west down the hill and it's just California again.

So be careful, and don't drown, or get hit by a flying Romney/Ryan yard sign - that might be Ironic, Alanis, but it would also be quite ignominious...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Heh, sounds like you found the right lady.

P.S. This will keep you busy.

Good Luck! Jeff Masters at Weather Underground gave 50% odds that the storm surge floods the downtown subways.

bbkf said...

good luck to you, hold tight and don't do anything i wouldn't do...

Another Kiwi said...

Good to hear from you old chum. Sounds like a hectic time. Get some rest soon.

Laura said...

Wow! You have been busy. My Daddy used to always say.. "One thing you can't teach someone is a good work ethic". So there ya go! High praise. :)

Hopefully you are safe and sound.


vacuumslayer said...

Glad you're ok. I saw what happened to that one Queens neighborhood. It just burned to the fucking ground. Normally, I don't get all gnashy of teeth and clutchy of pearls about hurricanes, but that kinda hit me hard. New Yorkers and New Jersey folks are in my thoughts.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Thanks for the well-wishes, folks!