It's been a hell of a weekend. On Friday night, I worked one of our fall fundraisers (eight hours on my feet, a lot of running around) and got home after 1AM. I woke up around 7:30AM on Saturday and got my ass to Manhattan for my volunteer coaching gig. We had a class of 9-10 year old girls, and a class of 9-10 year old boys (the separation of gender cohorts is due to limited locker room in our pool area, so the kids can't all change together). In our free time, I fought like hell with Gentle Jimmy G., who makes me look like Rainbow Brite- we warmed up with some ground fighting and ended up with some serious standing work (lot of falls were taken). My great and good friend Frenchy taught the seventy-ish mother of the gymnastics coach who shares our room how to throw him with o soto gari, much to her delight. I felt great when I left the building, but I headed straight to work for a sold-out fundraiser.
This particular fundraiser is a haunted attraction in which actors in creepy costume scare the bejeebers out of attendees. There's a strict "no-touching" policy- the ghoulies don't touch the visitors and vice-versa. Things went pretty smoothly until one patron slugged one of our actresses, a young woman who's five foot nothing and about ninety pounds soaking wet, in the eye. A cadre of actors who rove the site looking for trouble marked the guy who slugged the actress and called for the three off-duty cops who are working the security detail. The three off-duty cops escorted the guy to our visitors' center, where the local gendarmes were waiting to determine if the guy should be charged. The interview didn't go so well for the guy:
"Why'd you punch her?"
"I'm a martial artist, I just reacted reflexively."
"You know this is a haunted attraction, you weren't being attacked. It's not real."
"My heart wasn't in it."
Ultimately, charges weren't pressed- the actress wasn't hurt badly (she had quite the black eye the following day, though) and she decided that she just wouldn't have the time to deal with a trial. Dumbass was escorted off the premises after receiving a warning.
The thing that really chapped my ass about the hearing was the guy's assertion that he was a "martial artist" and that his "training" is what led him to, basically, punch a pixie. I spent the whole morning engaged in "combat", I know the difference between a real fight and a friendly match, I know how to assess "threats". I may joke about beating up nine-year-olds, but I don't actually beat up nine-year-olds. I don't know what sort of martial arts training would cause a guy to slug someone considerably smaller than himself. Maybe he's studied tae kwan dope, the art of doing stupid things with your hands and feet.
The only other real glitch all night was a smoke alarm activation due to fluctuating power levels (due to a draw on the power lines by the lighting and sound systems), which caused our Very Early Smoke Detection Alarm to go wonky. I had to run across the site while the event was in progress, meet with a representative of the fire department, then reset the alarm and go room-by-room through the building in which the alarm activation took place. Fun.
I got home after one o'clock Sunday morning and had to throw a load of laundry in the wash. I didn't actually get to sleep until after two. At one point, I was so tired I almost did a faceplant in my apartment. Basically, I was so tired that I felt like I was wicked drunk. Sunday, I slept til just about noon, plenty of time to get ready for another day on the job. I can't wait for November.
I considered an alternate title for this post- "Enter the (Knuckle) Draggin'", but I went with my first choice.