Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Hark, Ye Scurvy Dogs!

Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day, mateys... ah, crap, I'm constitutionally inclined not to write an entire post like this, and I wouldn't inflict it on my dear readers. Yar, that be what comment sections are for, ya scurvy blighters!

Ever since I was a young boy, I've dug pirates. Maybe the appeal the swagger, the tattered finery, that peer into a dangerous world from a safe place (much like the typical child's fascination with dinosaurs). As I've grown older, I've learned that the pirates of YAR!!! yore actually had some really progressive ideas.

Many of the pirate crews operating during the "Golden Age of Piracy" were run in a shockingly democratic manner. Potential members of these pirate ships signed a document known as Articles of Agreement before signing on. The articles spelled out the division of loot, proper conduct, and adjudication of disputes. Disputes were typically adjudicated by juries. In cases where a crew member were injured, a bounty was paid, a precursor to modern Workers' Compensation insurance. The compensation for the loss of the use of a body part is remarkably like the modern Scheduled Loss of Use, in which a percentage of the use of a body part (determined through a medical examination) corresponds to a dollar amount equal to a number of weeks' salary.

The officers of a pirate ship were not backed by the force of an autocratic government, so life on a pirate ship was typically better than life on a naval vessel, where the rum, sodomy, and the lash model, though perhaps exaggerated, held sway.

Even the depredations of the pirates weren't all that bad compared to the near constant state of war that characterized their era. They were thieving cutthroats in a age of thieving cutthroats. They were bit players in an age of unconstrained plunder. As "Black" Sam Bellamy is reputed to have articulated (hat tip to Thom Hartmann):


Damn ye altogether: damn them for a pack of crafty rascals, and you, who serve them, for a parcel of hen-hearted numbskulls. They villify us, the Scoundrels do, when there is only this Difference: They rob the Poor under the Cover of Law, forsooth, and we plunder the Rich under the Protection of our own Courage.


Now, that is a quote that is as appropriate in this day and age as it was when Bellamy uttered it. Maybe we don't need "Talk Like a Pirate Day", maybe we need "Live Like a Pirate Day".

For the record, my favorite pirate is Granuaile, who I have mentioned in a couple of previous posts. She was a revolutionary and a feminist as well as a pirate, a true role model for fierce, fearless women. She was also a wit- she chided a son who tried to hide behind her in a battle by yelling something like, "Are you trying to crawl back to where you came from?"

As far as local history goes, Captain William Kidd was active in the Hudson and was reputed to have engaged in smuggling with the slave-holding plantation owner Frederick Phillipse I.

Enjoy your Talk Like a Pirate Day, folks, and remember to thank the scurvy sea dogs who helped to lay the foundation for our democratic society.

Now, how about a little 1980's style goofiness?





I think Adam Ant is a hoot, though the opinion is far from universal. It's funny, though, I think that Malcolm MacLaren must have inspired the whole "piracy" thing, because Bow Wow Wow also referenced piracy in one of their songs from the era. It's like MacLaren took the Sex Pistols' version of Frigging in the Rigging and decided to launch a mini-career based on it.

13 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

We may have to tie M.B. up to get him on board...
~

mikey said...

They were also master tacticians in a time when the lines of war were blurry. They fought naval battles, but often hand to hand aboard an unfamiliar and possibly damaged and/or sinking vessel. The balanced a pragmatic savagery with the a preference to have the target ship surrender so they could add it to their fleet. They had no dedicated support infrastructure, managing their own logistics and provisioning through a robust marketplace of vendors and shipfitters for whom all money was green.

They were the ultimate citizen soldiers, each having a role in the crew, carpenters, navigators, sailmakers, able-bodied seaman, but when the time came each had to be prepared to take up arms and fight in a particularly unnatural battlefield, at a time when cannon and firearms were deadly yet battles were won by the sword and dirk.

I am annoyed by people who love to talk about "past lives", but I have always felt an odd kinship to these professional plunderers, men who could put their victims to the sword and minutes later be caring tenderly for their wounded shipmates. This is the kind of organization in which I would have thrived...

Secret Science Club said...

Damn yer eyes, ya bastard! That Adam Ant is a mad feller. But I'd go to the bottom with both you and him--so long as we take that blackguard Romney and his lapdogs down with us.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

We may have to tie M.B. up to get him on board...

Yar, Bouffant's a scurvy dog!

They were also master tacticians in a time when the lines of war were blurry. They fought naval battles, but often hand to hand aboard an unfamiliar and possibly damaged and/or sinking vessel. The balanced a pragmatic savagery with the a preference to have the target ship surrender so they could add it to their fleet. They had no dedicated support infrastructure, managing their own logistics and provisioning through a robust marketplace of vendors and shipfitters for whom all money was green.

I imagine one great advantage they had is that the morale of the crews of their targets was poor, because said crews were often pressed into service and mistreated.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Damn yer eyes, ya bastard! That Adam Ant is a mad feller. But I'd go to the bottom with both you and him--so long as we take that blackguard Romney and his lapdogs down with us.

Yar, so it's the Pirate Queen of the Gowanus, is it? The scuttlebut's that the last blighter you keelhauled dissolved in the foul waters of the canal.

Substance McGravitas said...

where the rum, sodomy, and the lash model, though perhaps exaggerated

Awwwwwww.

Secret Science Club said...

Arrr, these are foul waters and fouler times. I know the younker that spread that tale about. The truth is a dip in the canal is good for both body and soul. He only lost a toe or two.

But no more of that! I had a delightful cruise in a pretty little vessel down the canal and out to the harbor the other day. There was no booty to be had--it was as quiet as a graveyard--but I did spot my good luck charm, the green heron lodging in a quiet basin not far from the Bell House tavern. It boded well and we returned to shore all the better for it.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Yar, so it's the Pirate Queen of the Gowanus, is it? The scuttlebut's that the last blighter you keelhauled dissolved in the foul waters of the canal.

Gowanus Yacht Club Libel!
~

M. Bouffant said...

I just resent having my birthday high-jacked, is all. Bad enough sharing it w/ Twiggy.

And this is why you all like pirates.

Laura said...

Mass wanted to watch a Pirate movie but he couldn't cause it was rated Arrrrrr.

Sorry. It was all I could come up with on such short notice. ;)

((Hugs))
Laura

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Awwwwwww.

M.B.'s cartoon will cheer your up.

But no more of that! I had a delightful cruise in a pretty little vessel down the canal and out to the harbor the other day. There was no booty to be had--it was as quiet as a graveyard--but I did spot my good luck charm, the green heron lodging in a quiet basin not far from the Bell House tavern.

Sweet! There's a green heron at my favorite job site. It's shy as hell, though, and usually takes off when anyone approaches it's usual haunts.

Gowanus Yacht Club Libel!

The Pirate Queen herself defended the honor of the canal.

I just resent having my birthday high-jacked, is all. Bad enough sharing it w/ Twiggy.

Happy birthday, old chum. You should have told us!

Mass wanted to watch a Pirate movie but he couldn't cause it was rated Arrrrrr.

'Tis a fine joke, missy!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I was going to post a link to "Pussy, King of the Pirates" the world's BEST anarchist lesbian pirate cross-dressing musical, but the Goofle on it was disappointing at best, and I figured, why the fuck bother?

But: I am here to re-post a bleg from Balloon Juice (who, being an O-bot bloggo, I ffigure none of you frequent): Kitteh needs Humans!

http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/09/20/cat-recue-bleg-manhattan/

NY denizens particularly.

I hope SOMEONE feels the need to be owned by a cat.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

But: I am here to re-post a bleg from Balloon Juice (who, being an O-bot bloggo, I ffigure none of you frequent): Kitteh needs Humans!

I'll pass the word along. I'd love to be able to take her in, but I spend long stretches away from my apartment, and would be an inappropriate host.