After I finished working a graveyard shift yesterday, I turned on my radi-adi-o to catch the traffic report, and found that I was in time to hear the press conference in which Romney named Paul Ryan of Wisconsin as his Vice Presidential candidate. Paul Fucking Ryan? The guy who proposed gutting Medicare and giving vouchers to seniors so they could **SNERK** purchase private health insurance accounts? The guy who tproposed eliminating estate taxes and taxes on interest and capital gains income while shifting more of the tax burden onto the middle class? That Paul Fucking Ryan?
Oddly (I couldn't tell if this were a gaffe or a weird attempt to bow out), Mitt introduced Ryan as "the next president of the United States". WTF? It was truly an odd moment. During a quick trip to the bank, I caught some of the television coverage of the event and I had a strange thought, Ryan looks kinda like he could be one of Romney's five sons: Tagg, Thag, Grag, Spag, and Malagate. I imagine the Brylcreem budget of this ticket will run to six figures.
The choice of Ryan is somewhat odd- the conventional wisdom was that Romney would tack to the center in the general election, but he seems to have gone full-tilt Teahadi. Also, with Ryan as the VP candidate, the Obama team using the president's repeated clashes with Ryan has a great deal of its opposition research already done. Also, the Saturday (slow news) revelation of his running mate probably won't get Romney off the hook for not releasing his tax returns.
In the meantime, we have the guy who, in true scumbag fashion, used leveraged buyouts to purchase companies, then liquidated said companies to pay himself and his investors handsomely, resulting in the loss of thousands of jobs running with the guy who wants to cut food stamps to the people his running mate fired. As Betty Cracker brilliantly put it, it's the Vulture/Voucher 2012 ticket. Of course, the snark has already been ramped up, with Esquire's Charles Pierce having dubbed Ryan the Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver (no offense to zombies). Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver has a nice ring to it, it's like something out of a lurid 1950's Man's Life magazine. I can see the cover now: ZOMBIE-EYED GRANNY STARVERS STARVED MY GRANNY!
It's an uncanny likeness, isn't it?