Sunday, April 29, 2012

All This Talk About Butts...

In a weird sort of web-coincidence, Triplanetary and Vacuumslayer have blog titles mentioning the badonka-donk. I think I'm going to piggy-baby gotback on their posts, in a crass attempt to maintain my status as the internet's number one "unapologetic ass man". Yeah, I have no shame... but my shameless ploy has led me to an inspired bit of lunassy:





It must be noted that one of the funniest things I've ever seen is at 1:11 in the Sir Mix-a-Lot video, when the magazine title Cosmopygian appears in the background. It made my laugh my shapely ass off when I first saw it, and it still cracks me up. Oh, and the best thing about laughing your ass off is that, at the end of the day, you've still got your ass.

It must also be noted that I've been suffering a case of writer's block this evening, and found a convenient backdoor to creativity.

UPDATE: Seems like Ned's jumping on the butt bandwagon now. Shake it, Mr Beaumont, shake it like the 1906 earthquake!

12 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Hehe a classic.
~

Smut Clyde said...

In a weird sort of web-coincidence, Triplanetary and Vacuumslayer have blog titles mentioning the badonka-donk.

There has been a glut of such posts. Gluteous, one might say.

vacuumslayer said...

and found a convenient backdoor to creativity

So you DID watch " Ass Masters 5." I told you it was good.

fish said...

So when you say "bottoms up," you aren't necessarily making a toast?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Hehe a classic.

Fixed for more emphassis.

There has been a glut of such posts. Gluteous, one might say.

I don't want to be the butt of jokes!

So when you say "bottoms up," you aren't necessarily making a toast?

More like a lifestyle choice.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

So you DID watch " Ass Masters 5." I told you it was good.

It was good, and I really enjoyed it, but the plot was kinda lacking. Sure the whole "I'd like a large pepperoni, make the delivery in the rear entrance" is a classic setup, but it's kinda shopworn at this point.

I'd recommend the Weapons of Ass Destruction series- the plot is really great, and the dialogue is masterful. The first couple of films are okay, though the actors playing Bootay and Coolay Hussein don't have the proper comic timing of the actor who played their father, Sodom Hussein. Some of the jokes should not have been that funny, but Sodom's delivery saved them- the first couple of times he shouted out "EEEN-KAH-MEENG" when he climaxed were hilarious, then the joke lost its luster for a while, but became hilarious again after the seventh or eighth iteration.

I think WoAD3: Butt Bonker Bunker was the best of the lot- the actor who played Donald Bumsfelch sounded almost as clueless as his namesake when he delivered the line, "There are known bones and there are boned unknowns." The best scene, though, was the one with President Tush and Kindasleezy Vice, the actor sounded just like Dubya when he said, "Butt banging the Secretary of State is hard work!" Man, he was a ringer for Dubs. I read in "Sinema Review" that his best line, "Get Santorum on the horn!" was ad-libbed. Man, I think he could make it as a traditional comedian.

WoAD4: The Mother of All Bums was almost as good, though President Tush's scene wasn't as good as the scene in the first one... "I'm gonna flush him out of his hole." was an okay line, but nothing inspired.

I have to say, though, that WoAD5: Spied 'er Hole was a bit depressing. At first, everybody figured that Sodom Hussein's disheveled appearance was merely an act to simulate his namesake's state when he was captured, but it became increasingly apparent that he really was that unkempt due to drug problems.

After that, the series quality plummets- WoAD6: Countdown to Asspocalyse is more of a self-parody than a wicked satire. The fact that none of the original cast stars in it leads to continuity issues. The guy playing President Oboneya does a yeoman's job, but he's not well supported by the rest of the cast.

Laura said...

Okay, I was walking past an empty store in the mall this morning and happened to glance in at my reflection on the glass doors.
I noticed my skirt hugging my behind quite snugly and was a bit embarrassed about my "sticky outy bum" (as I used to call it when I was a little girl).

Now.. I don't feel quite so bad. :) Thank you.

((Hugs))
Laura

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I noticed my skirt hugging my behind quite snugly and was a bit embarrassed about my "sticky outy bum" (as I used to call it when I was a little girl).

Have you ever met a straight man who wasn't into a sizable caboose?

vacuumslayer said...

Thank you for that response to my post, B^4. That made my day--comedy platinum!!!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I live to serve! I'm glad I didn't have time to post a lame response last night.

Another Kiwi said...

Asstonishing review by B4!

Smut Clyde said...

a bit embarrassed about my "sticky outy bum"
It's only a problem if you can perch two candlesticks and a framed reproduction of 'The Stag at Bay' on it.