Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Send Latkes, Gelt and Kugel!

I'm going to recycle a comment I made on last year's Hanukkah post, a little Hanukkah song I'd written. Before I start, though, I have to confess that I can't stand Adam Sandler... I just can't bear his weird combination of Jerry- Lewis-with-a-mean-streak humor and the heaping doses of schmaltz he uses in a cack-handed attempt to leaven it. I have had an aversion to the man ever since catching a bit of Water Boy while channel surfing back in the days when I had a TeeVee machine. That being said, his Hanukkah Song was amusing the first two times I heard it... yuck! I see a need for more popular Hanukkah hanukkarols, even if a goy-boy has to do the writing (after all, one of the most beloved Christmas songs of all time was written by a Jewish-American troubador. So, here goes nothing, here's my bastardy Hanukkah song (the tune should be familiar):


I went home for the Shabbos,
The way I always do.
How am I to show, that I'm an observant Jew?
I was gambling with a dreidel,
I took a little risk.
Send latkes, gelt, and kugel.
Invite me to the bris.

I'm the innocent bystander,
And somehow I got stuck.
Between a rock and a hard place,
Oy vey, I'm a schmuck.

They took me for a gonif.
A shyster, to be sure.
Send latkes, gelt and kugel
To show my heart is pure.

Send latkes, gelt and kugel!
Send latkes, gelt and kugel!

It's a shonda for the goyim,
The way it all went down
Send latkes, gelt and kugel
Before I leave this town.



I'm actually toying with the idea of making latkes, although it's a time-consuming process. Being a goy, though, I'm planning on serving them alongside a bigos. I already hit the Ukrainian butcher shop to buy some fantastic smoked kielbasa and a big chunk of slab bacon. Yeah, it's not kosher by any stretch of the imagination, but it'll have enough oil to make all that cabbage palatable.

10 comments:

Laura said...

" I have to confess that I can't stand Adam Sandler.."

Here, let me hug you.
I cannot stand him either!

LOVE the new Hanukkah song! Much better than Sandlers. :)
Fry up some bacon! We'll dance to "Hava Nagila" except we'll sing "Hava Tequila! (isn't that how gentiles sing it??)

((Hugs))
Laura

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I just can't bear his weird combination of Jerry- Lewis-with-a-mean-streak humor and the heaping doses of schmaltz he uses in a cack-handed attempt to leaven it.

But what about the range of his acting?

P.S. Laura, Adam Sandler is the Thomas Kinkade of acting.
~

fish said...

Needs more cheese.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I am NOT going to be the first one to link to Tenacious D's "Kielbasa" song.

Laura said...

" Adam Sandler is the Thomas Kinkade of acting.

That makes me really happy. :)

((Hugs))
Laura

Laura said...

"Tenacious D's "Kielbasa" song."

Come on baby... you know you want to. :)

vacuumslayer said...

I am a huge potato fan. Seems like I should be Irish...but I ain't. Anyway...I had click your latke link. Um, SIGN ME UP.

I feel like Shabbos would be funnier if it were "Shabba Doo."

Re: Adam Sandler, I find he gets less and funny the older I get, though I maintain that "Billy Madison" and "Happy Gilmore" have their moments. I mean...cranky golfer and Bob Barker beat the crap out of each other and get BLEEPED during major golf tournament?" It's not entirely UNfunny.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Related, he related.

Oh, it's no use. They think life is like an Adam Sandler movie, where everyone winds up preferring the moron-with-a-heart-of-gold to the stuffed shirt.
~

Brando said...

I have to admit that, like VS, I like "Happy Gilmore." The role fits him and the supporting cast is really funny.

Love the adaptation of Zevon.

wiley said...

I like.

Also like this

http://wileywitch.com/2011/uncategorized/music-hannukah-cartoon/