Friday, November 18, 2011

Yoga for Right-Wingers

In the comment thread at Roy's Place, commenter Zuzu wrote on an NPR piece about an Ayn Rand quote on a Lululemon yoga store shopping bag:

Speaking of John Galt, I heard this story on NPR yesterday and was just gobsmacked. The yoga apparel retailer Lululemon, whose shopping bags are carried around by its customers like totems, recently pissed off its customer base by printing the phrase, "Who is John Galt?" on those bags.

The owner of the company, Chip Wilson, apparently read Atlas Shrugged at 18 and never grew out of it.


Of course, the reason why "Who is John Galt?" was printed on the bags is because "Who is Sri Tirumalai Krishnamacharya?" wouldn't fit on them.

I wonder if this new shopping bag slogan will lead libertarians to practice yoga. Now I am imagining what Libertarian yoga would be like, so help me out. Ya got Ron Paul in yoga pants, now what kinda "poses" is he going through? So far, I've got:

Downward Dagny

Freedom Eagle Pose

Looter's Position

I took the easy ones, people...

Representing the other, God-bothering wing of the American Right, washed-up-actress-turned-right-wing-fundamentalist loon Janine Turner decided that yoga was too pagan for God-fearing heartlanders, so she decided to file off those Hindu serial numbers and present, I shit you not, Christoga:





What the hell is with these people? They genuinely think that demons lurk everywhere, waiting to spring upon the unwary. Practice yoga? You'll be possessed by a demon. Read a "Harry Potter" book? You'll be possessed by a demon. I wonder how the hell they could eat Chinese food without this guy going after their asses.

Personally, I think the yoga thing is a fad, and that the next exercise craze rooted in the traditions of the Indian subcontinent will hit these shores any day now.

12 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

Oh, sure you laugh. But unless you're goatse, Buddha coming out of your ass is gonna hurt. Have you noticed how fat he is?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Why do you think you need 55 gallons of lube?

M. Bouffant said...

Does J-9 have positions analagous to being crucified, or stretched on the rack, Inquisition-style?

It's the over-sized amygdala & mild paranoia that make them so scared of demons.

Aunt Snow said...

I heard this story without really listening to it today. And then I went, "lululemon? WTF?"

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Does J-9 have positions analagous to being crucified, or stretched on the rack, Inquisition-style?

I think I'll refer that question to Mr Skafish.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The owner of the company, Chip Wilson, apparently read Atlas Shrugged at 18 and never grew out of it.

One of the saddest sentences in the English language.
~

Laura said...

Ok, I might have seen it all now.
Scripture yoga?

My sister in law Deb and I took yoga for 3 months. I had to quit because the instructor was always after me for twitching.

Perhaps I *was* possessed by a demon.

The past few days I've been trying to hypnotize myself. :) I don't think that it's working. :(

((Hugs))
Laura

Rugosa said...

omigod - That's Maggie from Northern Exposure! That was a great show. What happened to her? and her lips? and what does the Goth Mass decor have to do with either yoga or christianity?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I heard this story without really listening to it today. And then I went, "lululemon? WTF?"

First Whole Foods, now Lululemon... what's a straw-man bicoastal liberal to do?

One of the saddest sentences in the English language.

Sad, infuriating too!

My sister in law Deb and I took yoga for 3 months. I had to quit because the instructor was always after me for twitching

Your instructor should have cut you some slack- as your inner peace increased, you'd twitch less. For a while, we'd do a "salutation to the sun" as a warm-up stretch before we'd commence fighting.

What happened to her?

She became a right-wing loon.

and her lips?

They spout right-wing whackaloonery.

and what does the Goth Mass decor have to do with either yoga or christianity?

Absolutely nothing- the set looks like Tim Burton's dominatrix' dungeon.

Smut Clyde said...

I think I'll refer that question to Mr Skafish.

I love "A Music War".
All I know of Yoga comes from Mircea Eliade's in-depth first-hand account of the spiritual practice, but the idea there is all about liberation from the bounds of physical existence and unless I am mistaken there is nothing about buying a special feckin' costume.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I love "A Music War".

The Onion AV club sponsored a showing of it on the big screen a few years back- the film print actually had to be shipped to the U.S. from your antipodean homeland.

I am mistaken there is nothing about buying a special feckin' costume

I dunno, it's quite a costume.

Smut Clyde said...

I had to quit because the instructor was always after me for twitching.

"You are not here to watch birds!!"