Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wave of Santorum About to Hit Iowa!

Ordinarily, I don't link to HuffPo, because of a preponderance of anti-vaxxer lunacy, and celebrity I-really-don't-give-a-shit (plus allegations that they stiff their staff), but it's the only place where I can find anything about Santorum's ambitions in Iowa. Even the headline is hilarious:

Rick Santorum Waits His Turn To Ride The GOP Primary Carousel

Protip: If you're the next candidate on the carousel after Santorum, wipe the "horsie" off well... use bleach!

Damn, the LULZ0RZ are strong in this article:

Craig Robinson, a former state GOP official who now writes a political blog, wrote that Laudner -- a former chief of staff to influential Rep. Steve King, who is also connected to all of the significant camps within Iowa's universe of social conservatives –- "will now travel all across the state in an effort to activate his network for Santorum."

I've seen signs saying "will work for food", but "will activate network for Santorum" is a new one. Pretty damn disgusting if you ask me.

Even the bit of charming down-home whackaloonery in this article is hilarious:

The only Republican presidential candidate yet to have his moment in the spotlight could not tear away from an elderly woman on Wednesday who was advising him about home therapies for common illnesses, such as "onion juice."

Is "onion juice" a common illness? Oh, now that I re-read this awkward sentence, I see that "onion juice" is a home therapy... maybe it can be used to prevent an... uh... embarassing problem "down there", if you know what I mean, and I think that you do! Too bad onion juice can't fix a Google problem.

You may not believe it, butt (sic) a huge wave of Santorum is going to sweep over Iowa... it's anyone's guess, though, how the hell the 55 gallon drums of lube are going to end up in the manure lagoons.

13 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

What is this? Silliness? Mirth? Mockery? Merry-making? I DO NOT APPROVE.

SHAT BE BACK.

see what I did there?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

This is not a snark blog!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Damn, now I have this is not a snark blog running through my head.

vacuumslayer said...

O
M
G
Now all I want to do us take that song and sing "this is not a snark blog" over top.

HA!

vacuumslayer said...

Snark blogs are worse than a thousand hot-tubbing Hitlers.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

hey.

Someone stole my barrel of lube.

Smut Clyde said...

Self-sufficient New Zealanders know how to make their own hot tubs from an empty 55-gallon drum.

Brando said...

You can't activate a network without first raising your antennae.

truculentandunreliable said...

I seriously keep forgetting he's runnig for president.

You know, he should be thankful to Dan Savage. Without Savage, a lot of people wouldn't know Santorum at all.

And everybody needs just a little Santorum in their life.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The only Republican presidential candidate yet to have his moment in the spotlight...

Hahaha. So sad, but Little Rickey will always have the Great Gazoogle.
~

Laura said...

I got sidetracked by a story about how Michael Buble called Kim Kardashian a bitch. So.. I didn't get the Santorum story read-sorry!

But of course.. . I fell for the "frothy mixture" link again, That's so effing gross. Blah


((Hugs))
Laura

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

O
M
G

Heh, It's so cute watching the youngs discover punk and post-punk music.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

And everybody needs just a little Santorum in their life.

Protip... no hookups on burrito night- EVAR!!!

But of course.. . I fell for the "frothy mixture" link again, That's so effing gross. Blah

Rick's frothy mix is not nearly as gross as Rick.

Heh, It's so cute watching the youngs discover punk and post-punk music.

Uh, she said "OMG", not "OMD"... wait, what?