Wednesday, December 2, 2020

The Bourne Stupidity

Conspiracy theorists are those persons who reject the precepts of Occam's Razor, the simple explanation is to be eschewed in favor of byzantine plots and counterplots... I call this tendency Jones' Gluegun.  In the current political climate, Trump supporters are incapable of accepting that their candidate had a terrible record on the pandemic raging through the US, that African-Americans in cities vote, and that Trump's attacks on voting by mail led his supporters to eschew it, while Democratic voters embraced it.  No, Trump had to have been cheated out of victory by Sleepy Joe Biden.

The explanations for Trump's defeat have been manifold and bizarre.  My favorite conspiracy theory about this loss concerns a tale of a gun battle between U.S. Army Special Forces and CIA operatives in a CIA run server farm in Germany, a battle in which the military secured a server used to flip votes for Biden.  In some of the more baroque versions of the tale, CIA director Gina Haspel was injured, or perhaps killed, in the battle, so if she shows up in public, that means that the Deep State Cabal has cloned her.  Funny, this gun battle in Frankfurt never made the news in Deutschland, a country not known for mass gun violence.  In a sop to the QAnon crowd, who believe that an anonymous shitposter on a toxic internet imageboard is a high-ranking military intelligene operative, this narrative also posits that the 'Kraken' referred to by various MAGA morons, notably Sidney Powell, is the 305th Military Intelligence Battalion, never mind that this battalion is composed of trainees, not seasoned operatives.

On an even more sinister note, the minions of the Democratic Party arranged for an entire county to Michigan to just disappear.  Why couldn't the military prevent this from occurring?

The MAGA lunatics have given up on real life, substituting a whackaloon spy narrative for the mundane truth of electoral processes.  Understanding the reality of the situation would require study, which is anathema to these slugs. Why settle for a hum-drum tale of mail-in ballots and inner city vote tallies when you can have a high-octane thriller to occupy your imagination?  It's Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy with  the Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV guy as the protagonist... or, better yet, Jason Bourne, only stupid.

4 comments:

Anathema Device said...

Here in Australia, people who espouse the kind of conspiracy theories and outright lying drivel that we've been hearing from the Trumpites, are relegated to the political fringes, and the Murdoch press.

In your country, they infest every level of government and every part of the media.

Biden winning was fantastic news. But the castle of fantasy and dishonesty has taken 40 years to build, so four years won't be enough to destroy it. I think it will only become stronger and bigger.

Good luck with knocking it down.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Now, the lunatics are convinced that Murdoch's media empire is anti-Trump, they are going for even nuttier media organizations.

bowtiejack said...

"Understanding the reality of the situation would require study, which is anathema to these slugs."

Absolutely nailed it !

I suspect that corollary to this is the preference for fiction over nonfiction, movies over documentaries, etc.
A good story is always to be preferred to boring facts.
So why not juice the story up with pedophile Democrats, socialist gun grabbers, and the Deep State (or as they are known in their daytime cover ID's: "civil servants").

And, of course, this also underlies all the cosplay with guns, "militias", and undercover freedom fighters like the Oath Keepers who "defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic" (or as it might have said in the old Pogo comic strip "we have met the enemies and they is us").

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Their idea of 'research', btj, is watching some asshole's YouTube video about what the queers are doing to the soil.