A War on Christmas Carol

With apologies to Shane and Kirsty:

It was Christmas Eve, babe, at the Nat Rev,
A gauche man said to me, "That's central to my point."
And then he sang a song, a turgid tune by Rush.
I turned my face away, that boy just won't hush..
Got on the gravy train, no need to use my brain.
I have a feeling, that I will start to spew.
So happy Christmas, you godless heathens.
I can see better times, when I can jail you!

They've got fake wars on things, they have purity rings,
They've got teabagger rallies where Lloyd Marcus sings.
When I first lost my mind and became a wingnut,
I became obsessed by gay sex in the butt.
You were mad, you were nutty, we called MIss Fluke slutty,
When Ted Nugent was playing, the crowd howled for blood.
Obama was winning, the gays were all sinning.
We wrote for the Corner, and shilled for the right.

The checks that we lined our pockets with were coming from the Kochs,
And the comment threads were full of racist jokes!