Thursday, January 10, 2013

Night of the Long Knives, One Week Later

A week ago, the organization for which I work gave pink slips to a bunch of senior employees- it's a sprawling organization, so I don't know the full extent of the firings (it's a few as 13 employees, as many as 16). Today, a week later, there is a meeting for all full-time employees- the part-timers have their meeting next Tuesday, a development which (smacking of "divide and conquer", doesn't make me feel too good). I expect to hear a lot of corporate blatherskite about the organization being strong, despite the almost literal decimation that took place.

I had dinner with some good friends on Sunday, one of whom I've known since high school. The woman who got my foot into the door of the organization is a close mutual friend of ours, so I brought up the firings. This led to a discussion of corporate-speak, and the changing euphemisms for really bad shit, each new term adopted when the general population of drones gets hip to what the old term really meant. We used to have "restructuring", then "downsizing", then "right-sizing". My old friend said, "Now, they call it realignment." This led to a rueful chuckle from me, because "realignment" was the precise term used in my organization. I wouldn't mind a realignment so much, but the alignment change always leads to chaotic evil.


Postscript: One of my co-workers who was axed was thinking about retiring this year. He had been disgruntled for a long time, and really disliked management. I always told him, "Hold out as long as you can. You may hate management, but I'm sure you love the site. Think about what a beautiful workplace you have, and dwell on that." I will keep my advice to him in mind as I'm listening to some consultant-approved gobbledegook in a half-hour or so.

7 comments:

OBS said...

Pretty soon they'll need to start inventing completely new words for ruining people's lives.

I think "snabdozzle" has a zippy sound to it, let's get them to call it that. Hmm, "a snabdozzling", "a snabdozzlement". Yep might work...

"How's it going Joe?"

"Eh, not so great, got snabdozzled yesterday."

"Sorry to hear that! Fecking snabdozzlers! C'mon, I'll buy you a beer..."

Yep, that'll do.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

"Rich people gotta get theirs, so tough luck."
~

mikey said...

I had coffee yesterday morning with the last person to hire me, who got laid off in the same bloodletting that I did. We talked about our former employer briefly, and I muttered perfunctorily that I wished them well. He looked up sharply and said "I don't"...

Substance McGravitas said...

I will keep my advice to him in mind as I'm listening to some consultant-approved gobbledegook in a half-hour or so.

Good luck! The sad thing is it's insubordination to call that stuff bullshit.

M. Bouffant said...

So now we are forced to hope that you aren't making enough money to be worth firing. You can't fucking win.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

"Realignment..."

"CHUG!!!"

"Realign..."

"CHUG!!!"

Smut Clyde said...

Now is the time the moon is in alignment
With the unknown zodiac, the untold sign...