Saturday, January 19, 2013

My Inaugural Poem

Last night, on the drive to work, I heard an interview on PBS Newshour with Richard Blanco, the poet chosen to read a poem at the second inauguration of the Kenyan Usurper. While I have no animosity toward Mister (or should I say SeƱor?) Blanco, I'm a little miffed that I wasn't chosen as the inaugural poet. I mean, I totally wasted about five minutes writing my inaugural poem:

A second term!
The wingnuts squirm,
And each cries for his momma.
The president
Is still a gent
Named Barry H. Obama.

Anybody up for contributing additional stanzas?

Cross posted at Rumproast.

UPDATE: I love the comments so much, I decided to slack off today, Sunday 20 January, so the comments could keep coming. There are some additional comments at Rumproast which are also PURE COMEDY GOLD. Have I told you all how much I love you?


Betty Cracker said...

Four more years
Excite more wingnut fears
Of how we’ll put our house in order.
We’ll collect their guns!
And gay-marry their sons!
And open up the border!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

As you scurry
No need to worry
We'll Be Watching You
In your car
Wherever you are
The Feds are there, too.

Smut Clyde said...

on the drive to work

BBBB is a Poet Lorryate.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I love you people- truly, madly, deeply.

Hamish Mack said...

Tell me little wingnut clown
Why are you so down?
You've got Guns, God and Glenn
on your side.
Well, he said, there's that
preznit we can't abide.
We really do hate him so
He's black, did you know?
Well yes, I said, since birth he's been that way.
I think that it is there to stay.
Never mind,I said, it's a reason to keep hating.
But, he sobbed, four more years with no masturbating.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

You have the soul of a poet, old chum, which must come in handy, you being a poet and whatnot!

I was going to put up a post in the wee hours of the morning, but the comments are so good for this post that I think I'll slack off for a day and let you glorious comedians keep adding!

mikey said...

It's impossible for me to resist these:

As I sat drinking at the bar
A fellow came in with a vivid scar
My Gawd I said - Were you in a brawl?
He said no, I just beat my head against the wall

Oh. Why would you do such a curious thing?
It's the liberals and their Kenyan king
It's Socialist tyranny, the end of it all
So I beat my head upon the wall

Obama? He seems like a pleasant chap
The spittle flew - He's full of crap!
He hates America and her white sons
He takes our money and our guns

I said I just haven't seen very much of that
And you seem nuttier than an old fruit bat
He said it's true, I heard from Hannity
You cannot question my sanity

He's not even a citizen, he wasn't born here
And he's fond of people who are queer
For Americans to support him takes some gall
So I hit my head against the wall

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Wow, I just deleted my first comment ever- casino spam... I think I have to clean out some old comment threads.

mikey said...

If you use Blogger's Spam function it will disappear without a trace - not even the "Comment Deleted" notice...