Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Conservative Blogosphere as RPG

I was blissfully unaware that the right-wing blogosphere had a "blogswarm" last Friday to expose the current perfidy of a tried, convincted, and paroled former felon who they see as an ally of liberal bogeyman George Soros. Apparently, Brett Kimberlin did something which caused racist right-wing crank R.S. McCain to "hit the matresses", so to speak. Of course, the threat to life and limb was not-so-well defined:


Mr. McCain was interviewed by John Hawkins and my suspicions about his having to "flee for his safety" were proven correct… turns out Mr. McCain was concerned he was going to be sued and is not in fear for his life


The entire conservative movement is nothing but a huge role-playing game... it's a bunch of bored suburbanites sitting at their computers and collectively simulating a fantasy world in which they can play heroic roles in order to save their world from the forces of evil... it's basically World of Wingnuts. Unfortunately, some of the participants, like the guy quoted at No More Mister Nice Blog, don't seem to realize that their little "game" is best confined to the computer:


Read all of the incredible, sick-making story -- which includes some perfectly typical and disgusting bile spewed by some of the violence-supporting left-wing animals who think things like this are just peachy -- and gird your loins. Because it's going to come down to shooting with these vermin eventually, if we're to retain any rights at all. Patterico wouldn't like me saying that, I’m sure; I don’t much like having to say it myself. But it's a mere acknowledgment of current reality: we are in a cold war with neo-Marxists who are trying to steal our country, have already done enormous and probably permanent damage to it, and will stop at nothing --absolutely nothing -- to see to it that our voices are silenced. That war must inevitably go hot, unless we're willing to surrender to them.


Whoa, easy there, chief... you seem to be blurring the lines between fantasy and reality there. Sure, you claim to be lamenting the necessity of your "hot war" against the fags, vegans, feminazis, and assorted other monsters, but you forgot to use the unscented lotion as your spank-lube and gave the game away. I imagine Custer at least once voiced lies about how "regrettable" the "need" to extirpate the "savages" was before donning his spurs and riding off to Little Bighorn. It's best to keep the fantasy limited to the computer world. We wouldn't want this thing to turn into a LARP... can't have "Blogswarm! Blogswarm! Blogswarm!" devolve into "Bloodshed! Bloodshed! Bloodshed!"

Of course, it has to be noted that the "Cold Fury" guy who wrote the excerpt that I cribbed won't be the guy who's fighting in the streets, no matter how inevitable he hopes the "war" is. The mentally unstable guy, fed on a diet of Fox News, Glenn Beck, and other hate merchants, will be the guy who shoots someone, or bombs a gay bar or abortion clinic and, when that happens, "Cold Fury" numbnuts will cover his ears and cry "Lone Wolf!" while the mainstream media dutifully reports "Both Sides Do It".

POSTSCRIPT: Of course, the real fun is to figure out what role the various members of the Right Wing Media play in this sordid little game. I nominate Bill O'Reilly as the Dudgeon Master. Pammiecakes would be a 10th level Shrieking Harpy. Doughbob would be an 8th level Semantimancer, with the special power to twist the meaning of words until each syllable screams in agony. Sorry, folks, I took the easy ones...

16 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Who will they get for Druid, I wonder?
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Who will they get for Druid, I wonder?

No tree-huggers in World of Wingnuts, Mr Thunder (if that is your real name!)!

vacuumslayer said...

At the 9th level, Sarah Palin fucks them then gives birth to 500 retarded fetuses. They loves them some fecundity!

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

At the 9th level, Sarah Palin fucks them then gives birth to 500 retarded fetuses.

I think you have to hand 100,000 gold pieces to her before that happens.

Laura said...

I'm too damn hot and tired to read all these f'n links so, I have no idea what's going on.

How is that different from any other day you ask?!

Shaddup. :)

((Hugs))
Laura

vacuumslayer said...

I think you have to give The Grifter 100,000 gold coins before she'll shut these days. And, face it: shitting's mostly what she does.

vacuumslayer said...

"shit" SHIT!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I'm too damn hot and tired to read all these f'n links so, I have no idea what's going on.

Sounds like someone needs a damp cloth on her forehead and a huge frozen margarita.

"shit" SHIT!

Stop fucking cursing, this is a family blog!

Smut Clyde said...

Because it's going to come down to shooting with these vermin eventually, if we're to retain any rights at all.

The call for Total War sounds better in the original Sportpalast speech.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The call for Total War sounds better in the original Sportpalast speech.

Don't it, though?

Substance McGravitas said...

and will stop at nothing

I HAVE been ignoring stop signs lately. Red lights are next.

M. Bouffant said...

In my (adult) world, of course, RPG means Rocket-Propelled Grenade.

They wish, don't they?

Aunt Snow said...

At the 9th level, Sarah Palin fucks them then gives birth to 500 retarded fetuses

That is way more work than she is willing to do. Plus, you have to give her bendy-straws.

Another Kiwi said...

Christine O'Donnell as 9th level mage in The Mysterium Order

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I think you have to give The Grifter 100,000 gold coins before she'll shut these days.

$100 K to make her shut up? A bargain.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I HAVE been ignoring stop signs lately. Red lights are next.

Red lights are communist... it's even in the name!

They wish, don't they?

Yeah, but they're ultimately too chickenshit to go full-on Texas Taliban.

That is way more work than she is willing to do. Plus, you have to give her bendy-straws.

Yeah, she'd want to toss a ten minute word salad, then cash in.

Christine O'Donnell as 9th level mage in The Mysterium Order

She turned me into a newt!

$100 K to make her shut up? A bargain.

Her shelf life is rapidly drawing to a close. A few more years, a few more wrinkles, a half-assed face lift, and she won't be the pinup for pinheads anymore.