Sunday, January 22, 2012

A Fistful of Butter

It's shortly after five A.M., and I am at work, so I think I'll expand a comment at fish's place into a post (I blame fish for this laziness). Not being a T.V. watcher, my main familiarity with Paula Deen is from videos like this, which (no doubt) fixate on her more heinous concoctions... Kathleen has a few more of these dishes chronicled. I don't hate Paula Deen, I don't even know her, but I think it's pretty crazy that the woman who is pushing the bacon and egg topped hamburger served on two glazed donuts is also pushing medicine for type 2 diabetes sufferers.

Paula deen is playing gastrointestinal "Yojimbo", she's playing the stomach off against the pancreas, ensuring their mutual destruction, all the while earning some serious cash.

Of course, the Italian remake of Yojimbo was A Fistful of Dollars, in which Clint Eastwood played the role of the amoral mercenary, originally played by superbadass Toshiro Mifune. The movie has also been remade as Last Man Standing, which I couldn't be arsed to see.

I think a remake starring Paula Deen is in order. Titled A Fistful of Butter, it would feature Ms. Deen, playing The Woman With No Restraint, supplying the bacon-donut-burgers and diabetes meds to the ravenous residents of a small town... the sugar-laden burgers and the diabetes medication then fight it out in the gastrointestinal tracts and blood vessels of the town's residents, thereby making big bux for The Woman With No Restraint and the local coffin maker- "Make that four coffins, y'all!"

As an added bonus, unrelated to busting Paula Deen's battered, breaded, and deep-fried chops, the soundtracks to both Yojimbo (by Masaru Sato) and A Fistful of Dollars (by Ennio Morricone) are fantastic.

11 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

"A Few Brownies More"
~

Laura said...

I just bought People magazine a couple of days ago-it features an article with her discussing her illness...

Two things made me roll my eyes.
#1. She said that it was "in her family". That she "thought her grandfathers sister" had it as well.
Wha???? That's reaching a bit Miss Deen.

#2. She's a heavy smoker. So, not only is she pushing those burgers that sound FUCKING amazing (sorry, I've been on a diet for 3 days, have pms and am ready to bust through the eating gate here any moment now), she's also puffing away on dirty smokes!
I'm sure they have some cancer pills she can advertise so-it's all good I guess.

I don't hate her either and ultimately, we all make our own food choices, good or bad. A little bit of yum never hurt but I'm sure there are people that DO eat that stuff all of the time. I mean, you don't get to 600 pounds eating salad now, do ya?

To me, she is still in a lot of denial which is normal too. Either that or she doesn't want to see her empire hit the skids.

((Hugs))
Laura

zencomix said...

I don't hate Paula Deen, either, but I am somewhat amused at life imitating something like a Simpsons script. It's like Krusty the Klown selling you a sedative to calm your rapid heartbeat that was caused by the Krusty The Klown Brand Children's Cough Syrup.

fish said...

I thought "A fist full of butter" was going to be a porn movie.

Laura said...

I think that there might be one called, "Fisting with Butter!"

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

"A Few Brownies More"

"The Food, the Bad for You, and the Ugly Health Consequences"

Two things made me roll my eyes.
#1. She said that it was "in her family". That she "thought her grandfathers sister" had it as well.
Wha???? That's reaching a bit Miss Deen.


Well, those bad eating habits tend to be "in the family" as well. This is a case when nature and nurture combine to kick your ass.

It's like Krusty the Klown selling you a sedative to calm your rapid heartbeat that was caused by the Krusty The Klown Brand Children's Cough Syrup.

The cause of and the solution to the problem, kinda like Homer described alchohol. It's weird how our entire health system seems to be geared toward having two or more factors battle it out in your body, hopefully reaching homeostasis.

I thought "A fist full of butter" was going to be a porn movie.

It very well may be, but I am too terrified to look... I am picturing a "vore" movie featuring a woman eating little butter sculptures of d00ds. "Little Butter Sculptures" would be a good band name...

I think that there might be one called, "Fisting with Butter!"

The Obamas were going to make a fisting video but Michelle insisted that canola oil be substituted for butter.

Aunt Snow said...

A fistful of butter - GAH!

If I'm going to enjoy butter, I'm sure not going to waste my tastebuds on Krispy Kreme burgers.

I don't watch much TV, although I know who Ms. Deen is. With her visibility, shouldn't she start educating people on healthier eating, now that she's a living example of the dangers of unhealthy eating?

I mean, it's not really fair to dump on her for what she USED to do, but if she's not talking about a change, then - be my guest! Give it to her.

Aunt Snow said...

Read the thread you link. I don't get Mandros' argument, although it's entirely possible he's just being a contrarian.

The point is, PD is making a lot of money PROMOTING unhealthy eating. So maybe she should stop, now that she's suffering from diabetes? Is that too hard to understand?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

If I'm going to enjoy butter, I'm sure not going to waste my tastebuds on Krispy Kreme burgers.

I'm with you Aunt Snow, eating shouldn't be a stunt!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Have you ever visited Wisconsin?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

On a couple of occasions... cheese curds are the snake's hips.

I also had a "cow pie" at the Baraboo Cheese Pavilion.