Wednesday, July 13, 2011

You Wish It, I Dish It... the Objectivist Morrissey Madness Continues

In my last post, I noted that JScottG requested that I do Moocher in a Tutu. It would be safe to assume that he would have expected a play on the song Vicar in a Tutu (not to be confused with tuber in a vicar), but that's not how my muse rolls, baby! Here's my hastily written, compliant yet contrarian take on Moocher in a Tutu:


Moocher in a tutu, he is,
He is, a parasite.
Moocher in a tutu, he is,
He is, a parasite.

There are times when I want to murder him,
But the laws of the weak won't let me do him in.

Moocher in a tutu, he is,
He is, a parasite.
Moocher in a tutu, he is,
He is, a parasite.

Do you really think I'll go Galt?
Do you really think I'll go Galt?

Moocher in a tutu, he is,
He is, a parasite.
Guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-gonna go Galt!

There were times that I could have murdered him,
But was stopped by the rules of the weak and the dim.
Would you please let me beat him?

Do you really think I'll go Galt?
Do you really think I'll go Galt
Let my whisper my last goodbyes,
"Go suck it, parasite!"



Of course, this is a parody of Girlfriend in a Coma, which I consider a bit of a lesser effort by The Smiths (it sorely lacks that pure pop jangle of Johnny Marr's guitar). Here's a video for the song, accompanied by images of one of my all-time favorite actresses, the incomparable Dejah Thoris Louise Brooks:






In a previous post, I embedded a video for Mojo Nixon's cover of Girlfriend in a Coma, which I actually prefer to the original. Now, if only, I say, if only Foghorn Leghorn had covered the Smiths, it would have been perfect.

Cross-posted at the new joint.

17 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I would ask for a song talking about the ...umm problematic... attitude toward sexual relations, but I would expect that since you are such a big old bald teddy bear, it would prove difficult for you to hit the right attitude of misogyny.

So howzabout a full throated mockery of that hack Howard Roark?

"Sweet and Tender Architect"

"I started something I needed to blow up"

or maybe "You Just Haven't Earned this building, Baby"

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Patience, old boy!

I did reference Howard Roark in my last post.

I would ask for a song talking about the ...umm problematic... attitude toward sexual relations, but I would expect that since you are such a big old bald teddy bear, it would prove difficult for you to hit the right attitude of misogyny.

I do have one in the pipe referencing William Edward Hickman, which is pretty gruesome.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

...old boy!

hey now.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

yeah, sorry to be so self-absorbed and demanding.

Hey! I could be Objectivist too!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Hey! I could be Objectivist too!

How much of Milwaukee would you have to burn?

Eep- now, I'm picturing a statue of Fonzie in Galt's Gulch.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Objectivist Fonzie:

Aaaaay equals Aaaaay!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

OK, that was fucking funny. Maybe O.F. can make a guest appearance at O. Morrisey's blog.

...umm, you do know we have a statue of Fonzie downtown, did I mention that?

Also, Henry Winkler introduced Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros at Summerfest, so he's actually pretty hip.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

How much of Milwaukee would you have to burn?

none- the traffic guys already destroyed most of it with fucking freeways in the 60s and 70s.

And since the 90s, the design and construction community has done much better with not doing fake po-mo crap, so there's some pretty good buildings around.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Oh, the Howard Roark song could be, "I Just Haven't Burned It Yet, Baby." Actually, I think he blows up the building rather than burns it.

Gads, what a psycho Rand was.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Actually, I think he blows up the building rather than burns it.


yeah, it was built to be 'fireproof' which is one of the Objectivist Genius innovations he brought to the building, supposedly. So he had to blow it up.

Ignoring the fact that so-called fireproof construction had been around since the latter part of the 19th century...and that everybody was SHOCKED to learn that if the stuff INSIDE the building wasn't fireproof, it didn't matter.

Basically, Roark blew up the building because another, more fashionable and well-connected architect was brought in to make the building more attractive, and he got pissy about not being acknowledged as the genius he was (although he couched in terms of the tainting of his brilliant work). So he took his ball, blew it up, raped an heiress, and went home.

yeah, she had issues.

fish said...

construction community has done much better with not doing fake po-mo crap, so there's some pretty good buildings around.

Yeah, but does Milwaukee deserve it?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...


Yeah, but does Milwaukee deserve it?


no, but you don't either, so there you go.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"I Just Haven't Blowed It Up Yet, Baby"

Although actually, I kind of think Kirsty MacColl did the definitive version of that song.

Substance McGravitas said...

Slayer would do a good How Soon Is Now.

You go home and you cry and you want to DIEEEEEEEEEEE!

That is what the cinger would cing.

vacuumslayer said...

There are times when I want to murder him,
But the laws of the weak won't let me do him in.




Child killer sympathizer Rand would really dig this part. She'd sing it a little bit louder than the rest of the song.

mikey said...

Excuse me, but you've got this all wrong. Once again, you are SHEEP, following along with the narrative fed to you by the very agencies and organizations that have been STALKING you and enslaving you for generations. Of you.

Sure, call me a Courtland truther, but doods, what part of the freaking building was fireproof do you not understand??

There was no dynamite - it never could have generated the forces need to destroy such a well designed building. Go to my website for more...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

fireproof =/= bomb-proof, mikey. I am a bit surprised I have to explain this to you.

As mikey said on another crappy blog, if everyone sends mikey 10 bucks, he will fly up here and we will conduct experiments to validate this.